Originally Posted By oneyepete The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this? Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say, and we're working on new ones everyday!!
Originally Posted By LadyKluck ROFLMAO! That's hilarious! When you were done telling the story did you give her a sign? "Here's your sign!"
Originally Posted By avro_imagineer Oh my! My oh my! See I can think stories up, I just have a hard time verbalizing them. This is where a camera would have been so priceless!
Originally Posted By ophellia too funny! I was asked this recently... (her)'where are you going today?' (me) I'm singing at Martha Clarks Memorial. (her) 'Did Martha die?'
