Originally Posted By gottaluvdavillains Let's start with - I love this site - I love coming here and chatting with most everyone. But - I have noticed lately that not everyone wants to be nice... Now I understand that this is a discussion board and everyone has the right to participate in any discussion they want. What I don't understand is why - outside of the WE section people have recently found it necessary to be mean and nasty! A discussion by definition is: an act or instance of discussing; consideration or examination by argument, comment, etc., esp. to explore solutions; informal debate. No where in there does it say name-calling, belittling, or trying to humiliate others who may not share your personal views on a subject. I have even considering leaving this site due to some of what I considered to be cruel, belittling remarks made by some other posters - not just towards me - but in general. If anyone feels I have done this to them I apologize - I feel if I have it's most likely been a knee jerk reaction to what I felt was a personal attack on me.
Originally Posted By beamerdog If, after reflection, you feel that a post does not conform to lp standards, click on "Report this topic to a moderator" (found right after the last post on a page) and alert the moderator with reasons why the specific post is bothering you. As a rule, the mods will listen to you with a fairly.
Originally Posted By ShivaThDestroyer I think I know what villains is saying and I've observed some to The comments that she is referring to. The ones that I have seen would appear to be within community standards while still belittling the person who happens to be in disagreement with them. Although the phrasing is such that it falls short of a personal attack it is very condescending and implies that the other party either doesn't have the education or background and therefore their analysis or opinion is flawed. What really bothers me is that there seems to be a much higher level of negativity throughout LP lately and, like gottaluvdavillains, I even found myself questioning, for the first time, if it was time for me to leave. It was a fleeting thought but it was still there.
Originally Posted By beamerdog oh. I wasn't aware of it. But my head's not quite screwed on tight lately, so I'm not aware of much, lol.
Originally Posted By liveforvacations I know what you mean too gottaluvdavillains and I have noticed it a lot too! It seems some people just don't seem to understand that the purpose of this site is to provide a place where everyone can state their opinions and read everyone else's. It does not mean that you have to agree with them, but people should understand that they should respect everyone's right to their opinion and not belittle someone just because they not agree! It seems some people think that if you do not agree with them, that you are wrong and need to be corrected! I find that when a topic seems to be going down that road, I just don't read it anymore! I have never read anything you have posted that could be construed as mean or nasty and I think you are always very good about respecting others! I find your posts very informative, pleasant and I think you have a great sense of humour! I, for one, would really miss you if you didn't post anymore as I always really enjoy your posts and have learned a lot from them! Don't go gottaluvdavillians as we cannot let the negative people around here take over!
Originally Posted By ShivaThDestroyer <--removes mouse ears as a sign of highest respect for liveforvacations's post. Well said!!
Originally Posted By SoThisIsLove It's like DH said to me the other night while we were discussing the past week's controversies: I thought this was a Laughing Place. I think there is room for everyone at our table, quite honestly. I've read attacks on folks I don't know who used to post here (jonvn, beausomething...sorry if I don't have names right) but I hope everyone would be happy to be here. Everyone. I would be equally sad to see a villainous young lady or a big ol' bear of a guy leave us. We all have valid viewpoints...but, let's, in the immortal words of those valley guys, "Be excellent to each other" while we agree to disagree on certain points. And, as a last resort...if you read something that bugs you and you don't want to get into it, simply leave the thread and go to happier topics. {{{EVERYONE on LP}}}} Can you feel the love tonight.......?
Originally Posted By gottaluvdavillains Live - thanks for that - I took a break...was going to be gone longer, but then decided I didn't want to be driven away! I can be found mainly in Playpen - or on the express Jet in DL planning. <And, as a last resort...if you read something that bugs you and you don't want to get into it, simply leave the thread and go to happier topics.> STiL - while I understand you meaning, I don't want to feel like I can't ask a WDW planning question, or express my views on a topic out of fear of being told how I shouldn't go to that park or be put down... "See gottaluvdavillians, you are one of the people I am complaining about. Why let Disney spend time, effort and money on stuff they will have to fix later. Most of those things you mentioned are why I am trying to change the mind set. They could have refurbed and added frontier items to TSI and put a Blue Grass Band on there. Subs could have been a scientific exploration. You clearly have not worked or ben exposed to big projects. The ideas, the plans and drafts show you the blueprint for the future. And frankly in my view, there is a great big ignorant tomorrow, standing at the end of Diney's day!" This was a quote I copied from <a href="http://mb.laughingplace.com/MsgBoard-T-99180-P-4.asp" target="_blank">http://mb.laughingplace.com/Ms...-P-4.asp</a> #35 My point was I should be able to participate in a discussion and express my point of view just like anyone else. Without being belittled...
Originally Posted By SoThisIsLove Ouch...that hurts. {{{gottaluv}}} I'm sorry, sweetie. You are correct, of course. We should all be able to go wherever we wish on LP in total confidence of being "safe". (And, I can vouch that you've been on at least ONE big project...but, of course, that should only be revealed in an email or, very, very late at night in certain areas of the Play Pen...
Originally Posted By tinkerbell1962 I have noticed the same thing my gottaluvdavillains friend is talking about. I'll read some of "these" responses and just change threads. But of course it'll stay in the back of my head and I'll come back to it later just to read it again. Hey, I'm a Libra and can't stand conflict or confrontation! So needless to say I've not been around much lately either. And, I've noticed many others not around much either. This has been such a fun place to hang out for the last 8 years or so, but the tone is starting to change. However ... this has happened before and I'm sure it'll continue to happen again and again. Gottaluv, no worries from me - you're a true friend and I've got your back. I look forward to taking you to lunch the next time we're in the park together! (an IOU from being dreamed!!)
Originally Posted By Lisann22 This is not meant in a disrespectful way but all of you posting above have been here a fair amount of time but not as long as me. I can tell you we've been round and round on LP and this subject over the years. It's just not going to be the place you want it to be. Is it right, not really. Sometimes its best just to take a break - trust me. Come back when you feel a bit stronger. What makes LP great is also what makes it complicated - people from all walks of life with a general enthusiasm for Disney discussing Disney and various othr life situations. It's not always going to be a Tea Cup ride. I've seen the silliest misunderstandings happen due to the phrasing of a sentence, the misuse of a word, the lack of smiley - it happens. There is an air of smugness amongst some of our more "Disney experts" types on the boards, I've tangled at times with them and my simpleton views on various occassions. Bottomline, its silly and not really worth the stress and drama I've allowed it to be. So I ignore those threads and people. I've found enough of LP that I enjoy to just let that all go. Hoping for a big bright new tomorrow is wonderful and we should all do our part to try for it but the reality is not everyone else is going to play along so like the saying goes... To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. ~Confucius In other words, let it go...move on to another place on LP for awhile. The only way you can contribute to changing it is bringing forth new topics, better discussions and just letting the words disappear that upset you.
Originally Posted By Mr X ***This is not meant in a disrespectful way but all of you posting above have been here a fair amount of time but not as long as me. I can tell you we've been round and round on LP and this subject over the years.*** I got you beat, though.
Originally Posted By liveforvacations I hear what you are saying too Lisann22! My point too was that everyone is not going to play nice but I don't want all the nice people to stop playing!!! I really, really liked your quote, "To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it - Confucius" This sums up how I try to live my life and people just don't understand that I am not naive or being "walked all over", I am just choosing to be happy! I do think that everyone has to remember that not everyone is as tactful or that everyone does not necessarily intend to be offensive, it does just happen sometimes. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a very good friend years ago. She is very forward, sometimes to the point of being offensive, in my opinion. She really is very sweet but if you don't know her, you might not get this! She was angry with me because she said that even though we said the same thing, I always came out smelling like roses and she always looked like a *****. (You can all guess what this is.) I replied that it is because I found a nice way to say it and she just said it. She replied that she didn't feel like "lacing everything with sugar" and shouldn't have too! I replied that I agreed that she has the right to say anything she wants in any way she wants to, but don't blame me if people think I am nicer than you! She is still the same way and so I am but she is no longer complaining about how people "take her"! Then again, some people just don't care if they offend you and will continue to post in this manner. I get the feeling, sometimes, that their intention is to create conflict as they find it funny or enjoy arguing and some other posters just can't help but take the bait. Either way, you can choose to be offended or conclude that the problem is with the other person and not you and continue to post on that topic or just move on to another! By the way, I really enjoy your posts too Lisann22 and the great topics you start!
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 >>>There is an air of smugness amongst some of our more "Disney experts" types on the boards, I've tangled at times with them and my simpleton views on various occassions.<<< Exactly Lisann. I think sometimes some LPers get on a roll and almost can't help themselves or realize that they are talking in circles. They forget that some of us still have pixie dust in our eyes. gottaluv, hugs for you. I have been exactly where you are, being personally flamed for feeling the magic. With an innocent post about not minding the changes in Small World I was berated and sent packing. Sheesh! I was ticked for several days but didn't find it worth my time to go back and argue. Again, sheesh.
Originally Posted By TinksGuy Growing up in southern New Mexico in the early '70's, there was a certain custom among the longtime residents on the long, lonesome highways. When two drivers past each other going in opposite directions, one driver would rise a finger or two to the driver in the other car as if to say "Howdy, if I break down will help me?" And of course the other driver would raise a finger or two in recognition, as if to say, "Howdy back, and yes, because you waved at me I know you won't blow my head off. I also know that you will help me." Over the course of hours, you could have this same silent conversation oh, 5 to 10 times. Sometimes when I raised a finger or two in to initiate the conversation, the driver in the on coming car wouldn't reciprocate. I tried to not take offense at this slight. Was the other driver really saying "Don't mess with me or I will blow your head off? How rude! I thought, being young and easily slighted at the time. So I instituted the fang retort to clear my mind of such rudeness. If a car passed without acknowledging my friendly two-finger salute, I would immediately bend my two fingers at the first joint making them look like the fangs of a snake. "Fang you" I would say to myself. Well, Gotta, maybe you could let these yayhoos pass you by and you can wave them off with a "Fang you" too. Though the other driver never saw me fang 'em, I know I sure felt a lot better! Tink's Guy aka The Wordsmith
Originally Posted By Lisann22 <<<<She is very forward, sometimes to the point of being offensive, in my opinion. She really is very sweet but if you don't know her, you might not get this!>>> Are you talking about me? LMAO! Um yeah, I can be this very person but with age I'm mellowing and my hukkas hurt from getting it kicked too much. Talk about learnign the hard way. ;>
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost Speaking as one that has been here a long time and occasionally have unintentionally offended people, I see the problem in all this. By definition, discussion forums are meant for discussions. Some discussions have topics that everyone (or almost everyone) can agree upon, others end up being hot button topics (wheelchair, strollers and line cutters). When that happens huge amounts of "passion" spew forth and either something is worded wrong or taken wrong and we have a battle. One of the earliest and most vocal of the original group left because he, as a realist, was often negative about Disney parks. It was obvious that he really was a fan and felt emotional about changes that were happening and he made very good points. Unfortunately, he had a way of expressing himself that tended to bring out the defensiveness in just about everyone. In other words, intentional or not, he made you feel that one was a complete idiot for not agreeing with him. (Blinded by Pixie Dust or Pollyanna's) If one can allow for differences in intensity and focus then we can all express ourselves and not be offended by comments directed at our statements. Some want to see nothing change and go into depression if anything gets altered (i.e. unpopular rides dropped, light bulbs out, chipped paint) Other relish in the shear joy of being in a Disney Park and allow the Magic to take over and do not see those flaws that seem minor to them. We are all different people and we all see things differently. It seems to me that the more we are able to see that, the less we will be offended by comments that are not combined with facial expressions, voice tones or body language. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and no hidden meaning exists. Just careless wording at the worst. My suggestion...relax and enjoy Disney for how it affects you and not how others see it. You can express your opinions, but, one really shouldn't expect everyone to fall in line behind them. It's just human nature. That said, there are a few that must be right at all costs. The best we can do is know that we believe what we believe and be strong within ourselves to the point that we are not feeling threatened by some careless remark.
Originally Posted By WDWdreamin I may be the baby poster here, but I agree with villains. For those who have been here longer, yes, we do all need to try and not let other people offend us by their insensitive "language". However, when you go on a thread and you or your opinion is called idiotic it is offensive. So, while some of us need to not care as much what other people say, some others need to learn how to say, "I disagree. I feel..." instead of, "You're so stupid. How could anyone with sense think...?" Is it going to happen? I don't think so. But people have the right to express that they wish LP would be a happy laughing place. I certainly do.
