Originally Posted By Lady Starlight Please NO need to send condolences on this one. SERIOUSLY. My MIL died last month and we got stuck with ALL the funeral costs.(I'm not sad at all and it's a bad story regarding her so I won't venture into that.) However, here's my story, and all I can do is laugh! The mortuary's least expensive coffin was $600.00. The lady at the Cemetary gave us the inside scoop about a wholesale casket company, so we went straight to them. Found one for $200.00 and bought it. They even had free delivery to the mortuary, wich was really nice of them and that helped us out alot. The day befor the funeral, the mortuary calls and says....'She won't fit in the coffin.' ME: WHAT?! What do you mean 'she won't fit into the coffin, are you serious? Mortuary: Yes Ma'am , We're sorry but she won't fit into the coffin. ME: OMG LMBO! Well fold her up, put her in a press, puzzle piece her into , do what you have to do but MAKE HER FIT! *silence on the other end* Mortuary: I'm sorry Ma'am we can't do that. Me:*still laughing* Well now what do we have to do? Mortuary: you can purchase one from us we have one that will fit. Me:Ok,I guess we have no other choice. We'll take the $600.00 one. The funeral the next day was interesting to say the least , but at least she FIT into the coffin. So here we are $800.00 dollars later and stuck with a coffin,but with Halloween fast approaching I think we can make some use out of it. After that, I may try to sell it on Ebay. LOL! However, we did get some fun out of it already though. We had Madame Leota lay in it and then we had Scooby help us try and move it into the garage so it wasn't in the weather when it started to rain. Befor we moved it I told Scooby to check inside to make sure the mortuary didn't leave a body in it by accident. Madame Leota popped out just as he lifted the lid. LOL!!!! Good Times...Good Times!
Originally Posted By Shiva Lady S, I hope you videoed Madame Leota popping out of the coffin and scaring Scoob. yes, Good Times!! I wish we could have been there.
Originally Posted By 999HAUNTS <-----would be glad to take the coffin off of your hands at a discount, of course. Could make a great coffee table to compliment my HM items in the living room!
Originally Posted By A Happy Haunt I was waiting for a punch line!!! My MIL has been planning her funeral & honestly asked me if she could be Waked at our house to save money!! YUCK!!
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight Well, after the ordeal we had to go through We'd of had her shake N baked for a total of $500.00 out the door urn included! LOL! But she was dead (no pun intended though that's funny)set against cremation so we couldn't have lived with ourselves had we done that. At least we gave her what she asked for.
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight Oh yeah and.... We got stuck with paying for her second husbands funeral too! She had bounced a check for his funeral 3 years ago and being that they were supposed to be buried in a double plot, her being buried over him , we had to pay for that too so we could get her buried. LMBO!!! I figure now that it's all done and over with, it only cost us $7,000.00 to be done with it forever. We got off cheap. Like when someone owes you $20.00 and you never see or hear from them again. I think of it as ,it only took you $20.00 to be rid of that kind person forever. I think I got a good deal.
Originally Posted By Shiva >>Like when someone owes you $20.00 and you never see or hear from them again. I think of it as ,it only took you $20.00 to be rid of that kind person forever. I think I got a good deal.<< ROFL, I thought I was the only one who did that. I once loaned a cousin $250.00 just because I knew she would never pay me back and would disappear. In her case...a very good bargain too. luvya Lady S!!!
Originally Posted By Ursula Okay. See, now THIS is why I'm so nice. I'm sure you would all laugh your behinds off picturing 999Haunts trying to stuff me into a $200 coffin. Hey, LS: Did you check to see if they rented coffins instead? You know, she's in one and then there is a trap door for the end of the service...
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight Well, she would have fit MAYBE if the bell on the coffin would have been round and not flat. Belive me were were all for finding one to 'rent'. But no such luck unless you were doing cremation. At the point we were at at the time, if they would have given us the OK to use a Hefty trash bag for her , we would have! It was an UGLY ordeal and that's putting it mild. But, We OWN A COFFIN and we have a super funny story! That makes it all okay in my book :-D LOL!! Good Times..Good Times!
Originally Posted By disneylandfan8 I'll have to pass this along to my teammates (we take death notices for the local paper). Always looking for funeral humor! Tho I must say I'm shocked that the funeral home sold you a coffin without checking to see if they would fit. I'm assuming it wasn't an issue of height, but weight? Still, I'd of gone back to the wholesale place and threw a fit. I'm sure this has happened to them before.
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight Lets just say she was 5x5. What's done is done. But feel free to use the story. Humor is the best policy. :-D
Originally Posted By disneylandfan8 Yeah, when you work with death everyday, as I do, you gotta find humor when you can. I am so sick of my job.
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb <<< has a mom with some great stories involving a coffin theft, cruising State St in a hearse, drunk friends passed out in stolen coffin in cruising hearse... My parents had fun before they were parents!
Originally Posted By disneylandfan8 Another funny thing... The other night I was on my way home and passed a very, very old hearse. You know, with the fins like a Caddy? Anyway, the license plate read: 0 PULSE LMBO all the way home!
Originally Posted By poohbear14 LadyS I can just hear you saying " WHAT?! What do you mean 'she won't fit into the coffin, are you serious? " Glad you're taking everything so well. You always bring a smile to my face. :-D
Originally Posted By friendofdd I still am not quite sure how to react to this topic. It is very funny... and very sad. DW and I have arranged and paid for everything for our burials except the headstones. Our son gets great joy providing us with the latest ideas from the family as to what they will say.
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight We always have a white elephant party for Christmas at my house every year. So, when I pass on,I want tobe shake n baked and put into some funky urn and passed around at the white elephant party. This way I'll get to spend one whole year with whom ever WIN'S me! :-D
Originally Posted By ShivaThDestroyer Dear Lady Starlight, It has come to our attention that White Elephant events, normally used as an excuse to get of of unwanted items, does not apply in this instance. While we have no objection to sharing you with our beloved DLF8, we just feel that the venue chosen for distribution may not be appropriate. I hereby suggest a triathlon of competition, held annually on October 31st, for a truly worthy prize. The first event would be the apple pie eating contest, followed by "Who can embarrass the most people with their remote control fart machine" and ending with the quickest time in eating a bag of microwave popcorn with chopsticks. The winner would retain procession of you until the following year, when their name would be drawn on your urn in crayon and you would then be awarded to the that years winner. Submitted on this 18th day of October, 2009 for your consideration and approval. Your adoring fans, ShivaThDestroyer & TinkeroonThSweet
Originally Posted By Tinkeroon <<The first event would be the apple pie eating contest>> I do believe he meant apple pie APPLE eating contest!
