Originally Posted By Mr X In all my years on Facebook (not to mention the decades in meatspace), I've never felt any pressing need to unfriend folks, until just the past few weeks. I can take a lot, and I'm not one to try and shut down discourse, but MAN am I reading some disturbing, distressing hate-speech from folks I *thought* were just normal family/friends/acquaintances. For those less close, who hardly have two words to say to me throughout the year except "Happy Birthday Buddy!", I'm just starting to unfriend as soon as I read some nasty garbage (or, as is happening with alarming frequency, THEY write some nasty comment on one of my posts or on my wall out of nowhere). For family, it's harder. I know that unfriending will just lead to civil war and tons of hurt feelings on both sides, so I'm using "unfollow" so I don't have to read their rantings...although there's a part of me that feels like I'm being a chicken for not telling them to cut the crap already (although I did try to do just that in a few cases recently...none of which ended well). Anyone else experiencing this? I always liked having "lots of friends", even though many of them were just shared hobbyists such as music fans or disney fans I came across in my travels (virtual or otherwise), but at this point I'm reluctantly culling the herd, and I'm afraid I'll probably have to pick up the pace as we press on through this disturbing year.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip I don't think I've unfriended anyone but I have unfollowed quite a few.
Originally Posted By ecdc Yup. I'm hoping it's just temporary. I have two friends I overall like, but they are those people Saturday Night Live made fun of a couple of days ago who post *NONSTOP* about how great Bernie is and how evil Hillary is. It's like my whole feed. I have extremely conservative and, in some cases, downright racist family that I unfollowed long ago. I'm talking about posting pics of the White House with a watermelon patch or the words "Guess now it's the Black House" and whatnot.
Originally Posted By ecdc This leads me to a question I'm really curious about: why are our identities today so rooted in our politics? In 1960, when asked if they'd be upset if their child married someone of the opposite political party, only something like 6% of Americans said they'd be upset. It was a tiny number. Today that number has skyrocketed up. Consider as well that in 1960, if I told you I owned a pickup truck and went deer hunting, that'd tell you exactly nothing about my politics. Today...well it's certainly possible to draw the wrong conclusion, but if you were to guess someone's politics based on that info, you'd probably be right most of the time. Where did this shift come from? Why do we now invest so much of our identity into our politics that we see "the other side" as not just differing in opinion, but as downright dangerous or so misguided as to be harmful?
Originally Posted By oc_dean >> Finding the Need to Unfriend/Unfollow These Days? << I'll go farther than that .. and go beyond this year of president candidacy madness. What's the point in Facebook anyway? I'll post what is important to me - and I'll barely get a 'like' let alone any comment at all. As soon as I post something silly and stupid ... like a cat jumping hoops .... Oh .. here comes the inane likes and comments. Because at the end of the day ..... Life being so short ... I actually find FB a waste of time. And I wonder why I even bother to keep a profile up. The people who've friended me early on ... Never ever have a thing to say to me. So .. I'd like to wipe out 74 of the 84 contacts I have. Because like the real world ... we can only make quality time with a short list of people.
Originally Posted By Mr X True enough Dean, although I've always found FB a good way to stay in touch with far flung friends, plus a good way to reconnect with folks you might have lost touch with over the years. To each his own though. I can appreciate you not being into it. And I know what you mean about the lack of real interest...hell I wrote a couple of NOVELS and whenever I posted about them it was (for the MOST part, certain LPers to the exception) crickets. But hey YOU POSTED A FUNNY CAT! LOVE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LOVE LIKE LIKE WOW LIKE LIKE LIKE HAHA LIKE LIKE LIKE).
Originally Posted By ecdc >>What's the point in Facebook anyway?<< I posted somewhere else recently that I have a love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with Facebook. There's about a dozen people I really enjoy that I'd genuinely miss interacting with, and I otherwise wouldn't ever see or speak to them. But beyond that, it drives me nuts. And what's more, I don't like myself with Facebook. I hate how I mindlessly check it without even thinking. I've started taking semi-annual breaks where I suspend my account. But it's tricky because I need it for work--we have a page and I'm responsible for posting some stuff.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Maybe because I had already purged out the far right wingers long ago, but my FB feed is loaded with a lot of pro Bernie stuff. I have to restrain myself from posting too much stuff about Trump. Each day brings some new outrage, and it's like a pressure release to post and rant about it. But I know that doesn't change anyone's mind -- I'm only preaching to the choir. This has been the most depressing election season that I can recall. I am sad that Obama will be leaving office. I am worried about the country. And upset that the hateful, racist nonsense seems to be a winning strategy, at least so far. If Trump should lose in November, I think people will unfriend me on FB because I won't be able to stop cheering about it for another year or so. : p
Originally Posted By Mr X Sure K2M, but as many have pointed out of facebook (see what I did there? ), the legions of Trump supporters, and their loathesome outlook, won't be going away just because he loses. I hate to say I feel sorry for Hillary (I *really* don't like her at all, and find no inspiration from the woman), but it's gonna be a bitch of a presidency that might just make the Obama years seem like a golden age of civility.
Originally Posted By EighthDwarf I updated my FB status a couple months ago to say, "If you are a Trump supporter, please unfriend me." It was because I couldn't intellectually call you a friend if you espouse the things that he stands for. A number of people dropped me, and for that I am grateful. I still have 100+ friends, which is probably 90+ too many anyway.
Originally Posted By oc_dean >>True enough Dean, although I've always found FB a good way to stay in touch with far flung friends, plus a good way to reconnect with folks you might have lost touch with over the years.<< You're very right Mr. X the good there is in Facebook. For your same reasons .. my partner has found FB a good place. My partner has reconnected with people he knew 20-30 years ago. Which has lead to phone calls and getting together in person. As a "couple"... it's been good for both of us. While my partner is reconnecting, he's re-friending ... while those people have become new friends to me - So there's a nice little "silver lining" there for me. As an "individual" though - FB on a daily basis is a constant reminder of the opposite it's intended to do. Here's these so called "friends" ... who barely write at all - if ever. People who asked to friend me. Not the other way around .. and I wonder ... why did they even bother, at all? And then I start looking their profiles up ... and I see friend counts into the hundreds or even THOUSANDS. And I begin to draw a picture of attention spans becoming more fragmented to utter distraction ... or people who just don't really give a shit to say anything .. but want to boost their self esteem by having 10,000 FB Friends .. which in the real world ... means nothing. Just a "count" of people who would drop out just as fast as they were clicked in. Sorry for venting! LOL FB can be good for some things. But I also see it for showing off humanity's "rear end." And I end up with this polar view of it. Hate it, and Like it, and hate it again!
Originally Posted By RoadTrip I think online social media has a valuable function. Almost seven years ago when I tragically lost my wife of 30 years, Mr. X called me from Japan and talked with me for about 45 minutes. I can think of nothing else that happened at that time that meant as much to me and gave me hope for the future. Now I am friends with the REAL "Mr. X" on Facebook. I enjoy hearing from him both there and here. His continued presence here is why I still stick around after all these years. I know I've never met you in real life, but I love you Mr X.
Originally Posted By Mr X And I'm glad I could be there for you at that difficult time, and even more glad you've found happiness once more with Ann since then.
Originally Posted By wa6oqc I know this is not the what Facebook created favorites for but instead of groups I use favorites. By creating favorites for school, work, family, JUNK most of the time, Disney etc. I can unfollow most of my friends and put them into these favorites and when I want to read their posts, I click on the favorite group I have put them into. People I want to always see their posts I follow and they will always show up in News Feed.
Originally Posted By fkurucz >>I can take a lot, and I'm not one to try and shut down discourse, but MAN am I reading some disturbing, distressing hate-speech from folks I *thought* were just normal family/friends/acquaintances.<< Don't feel too bad, they probably feel the same way about you. FWIW, I think Fakebook is a colossal waste of time. If people aren't bragging about how wonderful they or their kids are, they post the most inane things. And yes, they become irritating during election time (regardless of political affiliation). A few years ago I made the decision to pull the plug and close my account. That was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip This is perhaps somewhat off-topic, but how big a role do you think Facebook, Twitter, etc. played in Trump's ability to hijack the Republican Party?
