Originally Posted By LuLu A young friend of mine is thinking about having her 19th birthday party at Medieval Times, and asked my opinion, since folks would have to shell out about $50 to join in. I told her I would go, and shared a story about a friend's 50th. This friend wanted to have her friends stay at a pricey spa - it would have cost about $300 each. At the time I couldn't afford it. I wasn't offended, but a bit sad that I couldn't join her celebration. The more I think about it, the more I'm wondering why people can't just have a party where folks just show up with a gift. Why does it have to be an "experience?" Why set up something where some folks are automatically excluded due to cost, or have to stretch their budget for something they may or may not be interested in anyway? I'm wondering if anyone here has hosted such an event, or been invited to one, or just has an opinion on it! Thanks!
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan >>The more I think about it, the more I'm wondering why people can't just have a party where folks just show up with a gift. Why does it have to be an "experience?" Why set up something where some folks are automatically excluded due to cost, or have to stretch their budget for something they may or may not be interested in anyway?<< I agree. Why not plan a "Medieval Times" night, unconnected with a birthday? Just pick a night, see how many friends might want to go. A few years ago, I got a letter that my high school class was planning a reunion. 4 days on a cruise ship! Of course, it was being organized by three women who had been close friends ever since high school, and so since they already were planning this trip together, decided to turn it into the reunion. Never did find out how many people went, or if it happened at all, but it was bizarre.
Originally Posted By Ursula I think it's screwy. Unless, of course, the group of friends all decide together that that is what they want to do for this one person. In which case it's really a celebration get-together and not a hosted party. I also am old fashioned and think that if you are "invited" to a party, the host should pay. If the host can't afford to pay $50 a head for tickets, then change the venue. That said, I love large get-togethers and I think that having a birthday at Medieval Times would be a hoot!
Originally Posted By RoadTrip I think that the host of a party should pay all expenses associated with the party. To plan some extravaganza and then expect the guests to pay for the majority of the expense is extremely rude in my opinion. I also feel this way (if not more so) about "destination weddings". Just what kind of ego does it take to think the your 2nd cousin on your father's side will find it worthwhile to spend $1,500- in airfare and hotel costs to attend your dream wedding at WDW? Heck, he'd probably be paying on the danged Visa card long after the happy couple had divorced. OK. Rant over.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut kar2oonman: my moms was like that, she didnt end up going. She spoke to someone who did go, and only about 40 people showed up. What a shame. Roadtrip: I dont have a problem with destination weddings or parties. I just dont feel that the person should put anyone down or belittle those that couldnt make it. I mean, if your throwing a party than do what you want, but if someone cant make it, dont be rude to them later. Also, for a wedding if you want someone in your party and its a destination wedding, than I think that should be paid for by the inviter.
Originally Posted By LuLu Interesting! This concept seems to be gaining momentum tho, so I know there are people who favor it, reluctantly go along with it, or have "hosted" this type of event themselves, and probably have their reasons that this is a good idea.
Originally Posted By Ursula My sister had a great destination birthday party at Disneyland two weeks ago for my niece. She paid for everyone's ticket into the parks!
Originally Posted By LuLu Good points Nut, didn't see your post when I was typing. I did want to add two different experiences I've had recently, both for friends' 50th parties: 1. A week ago, I was invited to a friend's home for a party, 4-8pm. I walked in and found all kinds of yummy appetizers, it seemed like a great spread. Only when I went ouside did I realize they also had hired a couple to barbeque, and a full-on buffet dinner was laid out at 6, followed by cake at 7. There was wine, punch, soft drinks, a pianist and 2 casino dealers as well. It was a wonderful evening where I felt my friend really appreciated me - kinda neat! 2. Months ago, a friend's boyfriend invited her group of friends - about 20 of us - to a restaurant for dinner. After dinner, he passed around the bill! We nearly died, none of us expected that and several were unprepared with cash. THAT I found unquestionably rude!
Originally Posted By wahooskipper Parties, in general, are out of control. I am absoultely shocked at what some people are doing for their children these days for a simple birthday party. Frankly, I don't even want to attend because there is no way my child can have the same type of treatment. And, why should he? I shouldn't have to take out a loan to throw a party. Of course, all that pales in comparison to having Aerosmith throw you a private concert. Privilege has no boundaries.
Originally Posted By Mary Poppins We have a couple of attractions like that in Vancouver. One is Tony'n'Tina's Wedding and the other is a dinner theatre, the "Giggle Dam." I have friends who have attended parties at them (cost at least $50 each person) and the hosts have paid for everything. Would I go if I had to pay? It depends on how high the cost was.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 I love kids but in my family it's know that unless it's a first birthday or 13th or something that marks a special ocassion - Nina Lisa doesn't do kid parties anymore. The concept of goodie bags, presents for the guests, catered BBQ's and clowns and bounce houses is just absurd to me. What happen to pin the tail on the donkey and muscial chairs, some cake and ice cream, open gifts and everyone go home? As for adult parties, I've done some birthday trips, like my 40th to Vegas and my mom and aunt's 60th to Disneyland. However, we called people up and said, "hey I'm going to Vegas/Disneyland for my birthday would you like to come." They knew from the get go it was a weekend away. I still picked up the tab for the nice dinner and a couple other things but this was mainly family. However, I detest the extravaganza's people are putting on now. Give me a backyard BBQ with margaritas.
Originally Posted By wahooskipper Lisann...you can invite me to your BBQ anytime. Do you have horseshoes? Nothing goes better with Tequila than some hard steel being thrown around.
Originally Posted By Minnie1955 For my friend's bachelorette's party, I was willing to shell out money for a trip because I felt like it was a once in a lifetime thing... Plus it was more like we were throwing the party for her, not like she was asking for it. If I had to pay to attend something like a birthday party, I *might* do it, depending on the person, but honestly I'd be a little annoyed by it.
Originally Posted By TomSawyer My wife's best friend likes to have her birthday party at some fancy pants eatery every year. And, of course, everyone she invites splits her part of the bill. I don't generally like those kind of restaurants - I think the biggest difference between a $20 entree and a $50 entree is $30, not the quality o the food. My wife went without me last year so I could watch the kid, and we both enjoyed our evenings a lot more. Of course, her other friends drink a lot of wine, so the tab for dinner goes up quite a bit because of that. I wouldn't mind if we got together with her other friends and decided to take her to a particular place, but it just irks me when she says her birthday dinner will be at the trendy bistro du jour. Of course, the fact that the places she chooses are alway in areas where you have to pay for parking is just icing on the $15 a slice cake.
Originally Posted By Ursula <And, of course, everyone she invites splits her part of the bill.> Wow, what a concept. I know!! I'll invite everyone to the Bahamas for my next birthday and they all ya'll can just split my part of the tab, okay?? See how silly that looks? I love home parties! BBQ, someone makes a cake...or at our apartment, we can borrow the pool house and have a pool party (for free).
Originally Posted By cstephens I remember being invited to a bridal shower at a restaurant, the Stinking Rose in Los Angeles if people are familiar. I'd been interested in the restaurant, so a bridal shower invite seemed like an added plus to be able to go there. Two other friends were attending, so we went together. We were a bit surprised that the shower was being held in what was called something like the vampire room. Great for a Halloween party. Odd for a bridal shower, especially since I didn't remember the bride being into goth, where it would have at least made sense. I think the bridal shower was thrown by the bride's sister, and she was dressed very casually - jeans and t-shirt, I think, and complained about how much work it was to organize the shower. The bride's grandmother or some other kind of relative was pretty much ignored throughout the whole shower. She was seated by us, but she seemed amused by our conversation. We tried to talk to her a bit, but she seemed content to listen. Lunch was over, presents were opened. And then they brought the bill, and everyone was asked to pay up. We were all caught off guard. I think one of my friends didn't have enough money, so I had to lend her some. I am of the opinion that if you're going to throw a bridal show, your guests shouldn't have to pay for anything. (Apparently, there is a tradition that I am not aware of where in some parts, people always expect to pay when attending a bridal shower.) However, if you are going to ask your guests to pay, at least say something in the invitation. I would have gone even if I'd known I had to pay, but I don't think one of my friends would have. She was on a tight budget and really wouldn't have been able to easily afford an expensive lunch. And not relevant to the story, but I was seriously unimpressed with the restaurant's food. As much of a garlic lover as I am, I've never felt the inclination to go back. /cs
Originally Posted By Minnie1955 sheesh, I agree that guests shouldn't have to pay anything for a bridal shower... that's pretty ridiculous. You're right... the least they could have done was warn you in advance.
Originally Posted By LuLu Wow - great stories. Tom and cs - yikes! I wanted to add about the bday party where we were also surprised by getting the bill- the woman is a doctor and the bf an airline pilot. Not like either of them couldn't afford it! Tacky!!! I dunno, so far I think Tom's story wins, that's just the height of gall!
