Originally Posted By Mr X Well, I always get sad around this time of year so I thought I'd share why. My Mom died on Good Friday back in 1975 (I was four), and so I always get kind of melancholy around Easter time.. Weird how I always seem to have bad things happen around that time (some stuff undoubtedly self-created due to the situation, but some other stuff always seems to come down at the same time like both of my Grandmothers dying around the same date, in March, one of them on my birthday!)...and this year seems like no exception. Nothing "horrible", but a real sense of "blah", and feeling like whatever I'm trying to accomplish is just not happening. One step forward twenty steps back, that sort of thing. BUT, my daughter is entering pre-school in a couple of weeks, and the school is lovely...we went for atour of the place today and it was very exciting for her. I feel like I don't want my melancholy mood to affect her happiness...it's a big concern of mine. So anyway it's not like there's no positive stuff going on. I always feel like summer is "my time". It's when the nicest, best stuff always seems to happen for me. Hopefully this year will be no exception. So I'm feeling optimistic about that (or trying to feel that way anyway lol). Don't know why I just wrote all that, but...just thought I'd share. Hope everyone has a happy Easter and a great spring renewal with lots of good news and happiness!
Originally Posted By sherrytodd {{{hugs}}} to you Mr. X. I've had a very melancholy week. Things have been really bad. I took my son and we got outside and enjoyed the world. Hug your daughter, enjoy the spring rebirth and breath some fresh air. Summer is around the corner. I hope you're feeling better soon.
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight (( MrX )) Hang in there, the spring renewal phase has already started and summertime is right around the corner. Happy Easter to you and your family.
Originally Posted By mstaft Thank you for sharing something so personal, Mr. X. Happy Easter- and know that a contact from cyberspace is praying for you...
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight Don't thank me too early, I was just huggin ya to check your pockets for candy and gum.
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight MrX, I always try to enjoy the smells of spring time and it helps me to remember that this is a time for rebirth and a new chance at life. Thats a good thing.
Originally Posted By threeundertwo I'm so sorry that this is a time of painful memories for you. I have a similar bad time of the year, so I know what you mean. Hold on - better seasons are ahead. You have lots of friends here. Take care.
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 I hope your blues go away soon. It's great that you recognize them and are looking for things to keep you happy. Is this year particularly hard because you are seeing yourself at your daughters age? I notice a melancholy mood comes over my husband about a month before the anniversary of his mothers death. It was such a sad and intense time for him, although he wasn't a young child like you were. It's like the season holds the memories. Take care and Happy Easter wishes for you too
Originally Posted By FaMulan I understand how you feel. Bad things tend to happen in my family in December, so since 2001, Christmastime has had melancholy overtones. Remember your lost loved ones, smell the spring flowers in their memory and rejoice in the wonderful start your child is getting at a good school.
Originally Posted By Mr X Thanks to ALL of you awesome people for your great replies (somehow, I kinda figured LP would be a good way to vent my feelings and get some good vibes back!)... So VERY appreciated! ***Is this year particularly hard because you are seeing yourself at your daughters age?*** Wow. Yes. It is. That is so perceptive. I'm so afraid to let her down, I guess. And, in the worst case, I'm afraid I might die (I am NOT in the least bit suicidal guys so don't worry...but I'm afraid I might have a heart attack or something and leave her stranded)... Amazed, I think you just totally hit the nail on the head. Her age and mine, and I just want to be there for her and NOT, as hard as it is to express, leave her behind like my Mom did.
Originally Posted By wahooskipper It is cruel that "Good Friday" illicits these difficult memories. All think all parents share your fears X. I know that I do.
Originally Posted By Mr X Parental fears are something I never really thought about before (duh...not being a parent and all lol)... It's irrational, I know, but til I sing a nice happy birthday song to her on her FIFTH birthday I think I'll always be uneasy on that point (and, after that, it'll certainly be something else ).
Originally Posted By friendofdd Mr X, I freely borrow a phrase from the "recovery" community to help me during the blue times. Life has to be handled "one day at a time". My 42 yr old son was recently asking me about family history. I had to think, and tell, about the year 1970. I lost my mother just after mothers day, my dad's wife one month later and my mothers husband a month after that. You would think, after all these years, there would be no more pain, but there is still a residue. Fortunately, good memories are the far greater portion in my heart now. We all have, or will, lose loved ones. Our lives DO go on and we have the opportunity to shower our love on those we have as family or friends. Speaking of friends, I consider you to be one of mine and I frequently pray for you, as I am doing today.
Originally Posted By sherrytodd Parental fears are so much fun. Without them I'd probably have no stress at all. My biggest fear is letting my son down. My husband, the rest of my family, meh... Well, I can't say that life comes with any guarantees, but I can say that the odds are in your favor that you will be with us for a very long time. Your daughter is lucky to have such a wonderful dad who loves her very much.
Originally Posted By Mary Poppins {{{{HUGS}}}} Mr. X. Sometimes things seemp to pile up on us, other times we are able to go with the flow. I'm sorry you lost your mom and especially at such a young age for both of you. That would be very difficult. I can't imagine what you went through but it made you the strong person you are today. It makes it harder on you that everyone is celebrating rebirth and renewal on the anniversary of your mom's death. Hang in there!
Originally Posted By disney pete thinking of you x at what is a happy time for some but a painful one for yourself hang on in there mate.
Originally Posted By SuperDry Sorry to hear about your blues Mr X. Be sure to take time to stop and smell the cherry blossoms (do they have a scent?) and enjoy the season. I think that your first child starting school must be a huge milestone, and it will probably be very different not having her around all the time. It's probably not at all unusual to start thinking about "big picture" things at such a time.
Originally Posted By Mr X **Speaking of friends, I consider you to be one of mine and I frequently pray for you, as I am doing today.** Well thanks, DD. That's very kind of you. I could use all the prayers I can get, as can most people I'd say. I consider you a friend to, most definitely!
Originally Posted By Mr X Yes, SD, it is very much "times are a changin" time around here. That's a good thing, of course, but I suppose it can lead to anxiety as well. Thanks all for the comments, very appreciated and I've enjoyed reading them.
