Originally Posted By Autopia Deb My son just called and after 2 weeks of practice he wants to quit. He's been wanting to play for years and was really bummed when I was too late to get him signed up. Now he says it's too much. My instinct is to make him stick it out. I was allowed to quit almost everything and I don't think it's done me any favors. So, what have you other parents done when faced with a kid who wants to quit an activity?
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost Probably didn't anticipate the "pain" factor. I don't think one can ruin a person for allowing them to not hurt themselves over a game. Things tend to look more fun from the outside. I don't think forcing him to do something potentially dangerous is wise. I would make an exception in this case. There are many things that I wouldn't be that lenient with, however. Hopefully, a lesson learned.
Originally Posted By TomSawyer There are going to be a lot of things in life that are painful and hard. Success comes from finding that place in you that sees things through. What is hard? The physical side of it? He doesn't have the skills the other players have? He'll overcome those if he sticks with it. He can't expect to start something and be an expert at it right away. He needs to dig down and work at it. He needs to gain the self- confidence that comes from knowing what you're made of.
Originally Posted By Mr X I agree with Tom, you should ask him what his reasons are (and don't let him stick with "it's just too much", ask him those specifics that Tom mentioned). If you decide to let him quit, at the very least he should reimburse you for any expenses you paid out such as uniforms, sign up fees or whatever.
Originally Posted By TheParsec My son Played Pop Warner Football when he was little, when he got into High School, he really wanted to join the Football team, so he did, after about 3 weeks, he Didn't want to do it anymore. He Said it was to Tough for him. At first I was alittle upset about it, but then I got over it. But He went out and got a Good Job, Got almost Straight A's in Senior Year, and he wants to go to college now. So I'm Proud of him. When I was young, I wanted to join the football team, but my parents didn't let me. So I try to be oppisite and encourage them to do things.
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb Well, I picked him up from ball practice a couple of hours ago. He had a big grin on his face and said "I changed my mind". I guess he didn't feel he was doing well until today. So I think Tom pretty much hit the nail on the head. We've talked about it and he'll stick it out and knows that should he be allowed to quit (if he changes his mind back) there WILL be consequences (no video games at all for the remainder of foot ball season). As for the injury part. That wasn't really at issue. This boy broke his arm a couple years ago and didn't even cry. And I worry more about serious injury when he and his friends are messing around than when he's on the ball field. Thanks for your input!
Originally Posted By disney pete I gotta agree whole heartedly with what Tom says and am so glad your son changed his mind it could be the making of him.
Originally Posted By Mary Poppins I would let him quit if he wants. There are plenty of activities out there and there may be one more suited to him. It's up to him (I realize you have paid all the fees, uniforms etc. but that is my opinion).
Originally Posted By Sara Tonin I wouldn't MAKE him go through with it, but I would stress the following through thing and the comraderie bit and maybe even explain that everything has ups and downs and sleeping on it can make a big difference (The sun will come up tomorrow, and Tomorrow is another day). Until he just got tired of it and walked away...
Originally Posted By Sara Tonin In other words, make him realise that nothing is as bad as listening to his mom blathering on and on...it works!
Originally Posted By TINK-MOBILE Until we are in his shoes, it is hard to understand what he is going thru, he will be o'kay...sounds like he really wants to do well, that is a good thing, if he sticks it out, stand beside him thick and thin, if he decides he doesn't want to play anymnore , ask him why, you want him to leave for the right reason not the wrong, already he has stood up and accounted himself well, good luck, play hard son, give it your best, you'll be fine..Football is a demanding sport.. I played it for years , and had tons of fun and lots of bruises....a outside flanker can get hit hard sometimes, no matter how much speed you have...those defensive ends take no prisioners at times...glad we played on grass...
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb He was discouraged because he wasn't playing well. We talked and I pointed out he'd only been playing tackle 2 weeks (and most of that was conditioning and drills). My roomy, the assistant JV HS coach also talked with him, and he assures me K has a good coach as he's working with him at his current level and not doing the same drills as more experienced players. K is pleased with his progress and starting to enjoy his practices! Amazing the difference 2 hours can make. I'm just so pleased he didn't take the easy out and is sticking with what he started.
Originally Posted By TINK-MOBILE It is always tough to get it going , now that he has..he will get better and better, football is a tough sport, builds good character, sounds like he is in Great Hands, take care...Best Wishes for a Great Season, no matter where they finish, yes it is very good he saw thru some adversities and battled on to victory , keep the sun shining, that is a step worth taking....let us know how his games went from time to time...take care........ TM
Originally Posted By vbdad55 parent of a 24 and 15 year old ( both girls b- but athletes, one already plaed college VB on a full ride scholarship)- you have to know 'why' ? Is it because the other kids are better ? Is it because he doesn't like the coach ? It is just because it is hard ? ( where I would see your link to being allowed not to follow thru being an issue) - Is it because of the time commitment and the impact on school work ? Or is it the impact on hanging out time ? Too many questions to make a decision. I can tell you dedication to sports these days requires total focus and a whole lot of time- and trade offs from things others kids get to do. My oldest never went to a High School dance because she was always traveling for club Volleyball to national torunaments at the time - coupled with 15-20 hours a week of practice. If they love the sport and their friends in the sport I believe it makes them stronger- but I also saw kids who did it just because their parents wanted them to- and they were miserable- I felt bad for them. My current HS soph practices 3 hours a day ( plus lifting ) -suring high school season and club season that runs 8-9 months is a 5 days week commitment now @ 16 ( was 4 days last year) - the payoff for my oldest was lifelong friends from her teams and a full ride to a school we likely could not have afforded - but for most- the playing ends @ HS Success rate to college play is less than 2% ( depending on sport) - So I think it is important to get those why's before hand with this situation
