Originally Posted By WDWdreamin The 1938 dating thread reminded me of this thing that annoyed me lately and I thought I would ask if I'm alone. It will probably surprise no one here that I am the trip planner in my family. (And my DH thinks I do a great researched job.) When a guy at work asked DH what hotel we were staying at a couple weeks ago (new place to both of us) and DH said that he had no clue, the guy was shocked I booked a hotel without DH's permission. He used the word permission. After my initial start to this story, I proposed that maybe the guy's wife doesn't work and he would want to be asked about hotel prices before booking, or he's from a different country/culture. No, this guy's wife works too and they have been married over five years, and they are American. I think if you cannot trust your spouse to make a reasonable hotel choice, you have bigger issues. What do you think?
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost I disagree with the use of the word "permission", but I would think that whomever is making the final decision would at least want to get the opinion of the other party, therefore advising them of the decision. I don't think that everyone is capable of just choosing anything. Each person usually has their area of expertise. If one spouse is more capable of planning, then that is the one that should be doing it, but to not include the other in it or at least sharing the decision would not work well for me. Now, on the other hand, if I didn't care two hoots...I wouldn't need to know and would trust the other with the decision, no questions asked.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip I'm the planner in our family, and I always run the choices by Ann. It's not so much "asking permission" as sharing information. I never spend more than a couple of hundred on anything without running it by her. I don't see anything "wrong" with how you do things but I can see why someone who does it differently might be surprised.
Originally Posted By TXDISNEYNERD I generally make all the travel plans for my family. I will generally run it by DH and he will just tell me that whatever I want to do is fine with him.
Originally Posted By WDWdreamin We discuss how long we are going and what we want to do, but the name of a hotel generally doesn't mean anything to either or us. So I let him know I'm going to book for two nights, near such-and-such, and he says "great". I don't think I ask permission for anything. We discuss before bigger purchases, but I wouldn't even call that asking permission.
Originally Posted By Princessjenn5795 I am the planner in my family. I am also in charge of the household finances, because my husband does not like to do it. I run things by him, if it is something he cares about, but I certainly do not ask his permission, nor has he ever expected or asked me to ask permission. That said, I can't imagine him not knowing what hotel we would be staying at, just because he is usually as excited about any trips we are taking as I am.
Originally Posted By WDWdreamin To me, discussion or asking for an opinion are very different than asking permission.
Originally Posted By WDWdreamin Yeah, I guess we are unique in that he leaves it all up to me. In fact he usually refuses to look at my lists ans day plans and spreadsheets. I do ask about things he would care about. Usually on the day we leave he asks what hotel we are staying at and how much per night. I don't think we consider the hotel an exciting part of the trip unless it is WDW.
Originally Posted By DlandDug Permission? I let dw make plans; she lets me make plans, we keep each other informed. But permission? Not necessary.
Originally Posted By Tinkeroon Yep, that's pretty much how it is in our house too. We run things by each other. Usually everything gels really well. Asking "permission" would really bother me. I guess it's just what that word implies. For us it's more like "Hey, take a look at this. Sounds good. What do you think?" or something to that effect. We get a little input from the other and as long as there are no objections, then we go for it.
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight I'm with you on this one WDWdreamin. You should be able to trust that your spouse has good judgement. If you know they don't have good judgement ( wich you should know already), don't have them do things for you. Pretty simple. you shouldn't have to "ask permission" for anything. You're both adults..it's nice to run things by the other to see what they think.. but if you're in charge of the accomodations your spouse must already trust your judgement.
Originally Posted By FenwayGirl I could confer with my husband and he still wouldnt know if someone asked himSo I just make the plans...
Originally Posted By EmmaJayne In my family, Mum managed the money and Mum planned the holidays. My Dad worked really long hours and was often interstate. I'm sure she ran a rough budget by him, she certainly wouldn't have booked a 5 Star resort without discussing it with him, but certainly not asking permission. But even if she had shown him a written list of places we were staying and a co-worker asked him, he'd have had NO IDEA. With me and my fiance it's different. We don't spend weeks apart from eachother and we are both keen travellers who really enjoy planning a trip. I'd be a bit cranky if he booked accomodation somewhere without running it by me, but only because I'd feel left out of the planning phase. But if we were to go to Tokyo (where he lived for 12 months) or Ireland (where he grew up) I guess I'd trust him to do it because he knows those places better than I do. Just like when we book for Disney he'll trust me. For smaller weekends away though, one of us will just book and we basically trust each other.
Originally Posted By tashajilek I am also the vacation planner and my Husband could care less where i book. I almost always use priceline, so i myself dont even know where we are staying until i win the bid. My husband trusts me to make these decisions and would never get mad at me for booking a hotel.
Originally Posted By iamsally My husband trusts me to do the planning. He would not have a clue what to do. He would usually be able to tell someone where we are staying as we nearly always stay in the same place. If he were planning he would have to run it past me as I am forced to handle the money. Asking permission?!? I don't think so.
Originally Posted By smedley I do the planning, I will let DH know where I am planning to book, but he always just tells me it's fine So long as I let him know when he needs to book A/L for he's good
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 Pretty much the same here. I do all the research and planning. Most times I'll give DH a list and he'll do the booking. There is never a question of why or where he just trusts that I am SO into getting the BEST price and have researched the area through multiple sites/travel books AND HE doesn't have to do it Permission is a word we have never used. If he expected it we wouldn't have made it past our first date
Originally Posted By Rsey103 >>What do you think?<< What others do is their business. It doesn't change how you plan a vacation.
Originally Posted By alphabetmom I am the planner too. I am much pickier than my husband so he knows he would be okay with it. But since it is our money I do run everything by him he usually can careless but I feel I should run it by him. If someone at worked asked him the specifics he probably couldn't answer more than the destination.
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter <<<Permission is a word we have never used. If he expected it we wouldn't have made it past our first date >>> My thoughts exactly. And vice versa as well. My particular philosophy about marriage is that neither partner should feel obligated to ask permission about something as trivial as booking a hotel. Discuss and agree on preferences if both people are interested in the decision, yes. But ask permission? Yikes.
