Originally Posted By davewasbaloo As some of you know, I lost my job about 4 weeks ago (many of us did), thanks to the credit crunch. In the time, I have been doing a lot of thinking, as I put my materials together to look for work. In the corporate world, in my sector, there are a lot of cutbacks, but I am talking to 5 organisations. In the public sector, there are a few senior roles I have been going for in my local area, but I have come 2nd twice now (the winner seems to always be someone on the inside) and I am waiting to hear back from someone here in my hometown, but they are 2 days late in getting back. In the meantime, to pay the bills, I have looked at possibly setting my own business up and have a few possible contracts (not close to home yet, but a chance to get established). There is one contract that if I want it could start on Monday, and it means life at the seaside in the summer, so the family could enjoy the school hols on the beach while I work. My strengths have always been in parachuting in, taking a difficult puzzle and solving it. I make a very good first impression, but maintaining it can be hit and miss (as many of you know ;-) In my career, it is the challenging short term (6 weeks to 1 year) projects and programmes I have enjoyed. Internal politics annoy me. And as for sales, I can sell, but it is not my fav thing to do. But if I sell myself, that I can do. So I wonder, do I take the risk in this economic climate and set out on my own, maybe make a bigger difference and potentially more financial comfort (though risk too), have the opportunity to work for myself and reduce tax liabilities, with a potential sacrifice of vacations during school vacation time? I am thinking it may be a goer, even if I take this initial 4 month contract and look for something more steady closer to home in the medium term. I know we have a real mix in our community. Ideally I would love the job near home (like 3.5 miles away), but I am not getting the feedback from them. But contracting gives me some independence, a higher potential earning (about 175% more) and a chance to maybe do something. It really is hard as the kids are growing up fast. That said, this commission could mean working 1-2 days a week at home and during the summer taking them with me to the beach. I wonder if you guys have any views? Have any of you done it? What was the impact?
Originally Posted By Mr X I have no advice to give except to say you should go with what feels "right" (whichever choice does NOT make you feel ill at the very thought of it ). I wish you the greatest of good fortune Dave!
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Thanks X - sadly, speaking with my mom today ended with her slamming down the phone on me and not taking my calls. After she said I lost my job because "I am a know it all" - I got it from her. I have no friends, poor relationships with my children, wife and extended family being on the road (funny, I give my family 95% of my free time - can't help it that my mom always cancels our visits - normally on the day). Well guess how my morale is right now? Lose job - check Get sick on vacation - check Challenge getting a footing back on the ladder - check Find out father died of heart problems in early 50's (combined with the fact my mother's side is not great at longevity due to heart problems) - check Dryer and vaccuum die on us - check Mother rubs salt in wound and hungs up on you - check Employment office want to see me tomorrow to prove I am not trying to embezzle (I was advised of an appointment for the 17th, but they have "concerns" about my paperwork - they think a timeshare is like a 2nd house, and that as an immigrant I want to sponge (despite living here from the age of 12) - check well, at least I have my nuclear family - though that said Mikey has been wetting his bed a lot lately and Jessica has nasty mood swings. I must think of CoP - There's a great big beautiful tomorrow?
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo What is ironic, I may work away, but I am home every weekend (my step dad used to work away for weeks or months at a time). Days where I work from home, I try to have 1 - 2 meals with my family. I don't golf, or go to the gym or out to the pub or out with friends like a number of other Dads out there. If I worked as a tradesman in my local town, I would be lucky to see my kids an hour a day due to bedtime. Above all I always thought I was a good dad, husband, son and brother. Work came first to put a roof over the heads, followed by family. Seems like my own mother does not feel I am much good at anything.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Oh, I should say it was my mom that said I had poor relationships with my family :~(
Originally Posted By FenwayGirl Sorry you are having a bad day Dave. Sometimes our parents are not our best sounding boards. Mine are both gone now, but they too could make a bad situation much worse. They think that they are giving constructive feedback, but not usually the case. It sounds like you have a wonderful,loving family and many blessings. Try to focus on the positive in your life today..I know it sounds hokey, but it has worked for me in some of my darkest times...
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Thanks Fenway Girl - it is not shaping up to be a great day. The good news however, is another prospect came forward today for a 6 month contract 60 miles from home for the same rate as the other 4 month contract 93 miles from home. I am thinking possibly going on my own (though my mother thinks it's stupid in a recession) could pay off.
Originally Posted By leemac Dave - I'm so sorry to hear that you are having a torrid time of late - especially from people that should be supporting you in your time of need. I guess many of us take things like job security for granted. Ultimately only you can make such a monumental decision. My advice would always be to take the employee route as it has greater security. However only you know whether you have a shot at making it as a self-employed individual. Best of luck with whatever decision you make.
Originally Posted By beamerdog moms *sigh* I was blessed with a great mother, but some moms' reflections of their sons are but a reflection of their (the moms') own lives. I lost a job when I was pregnant with my first son. I went into consulting (doing the same job) and made a lot more money and had more time off to spend with my children. But sometimes it was all or nothing as far as a paycheck went. If you can stand that, then setting up your own business might be the way to go. Things to consider: (and I'm going to be very honest here) You have to market for the next job as you're working on the current job. How will sarahwasbaloo handle the on again, off again, nature of a start-up business? Having a job where you do only the parts of the project that you like and find stimulating is terrific! The people who contract you to do the work will listen to you more than their own staff (most of the time) since they are paying you as the expert. Initially, you will be working a ton of hours getting the business going. I know that you've had bouts of depression in the past. This is the time to see a professional and, if needed, get some meds. Working on a start up business doesn't mix well with depression. We all worry about you when the depression rolls in. Really, my friend. From all that you say here, you've been a good father and husband. I know it's hard, but try to not let mom tell you "what" you are. Have faith in yourself! You're a good man.
Originally Posted By Mr X ***well, at least I have my nuclear family - though that said Mikey has been wetting his bed a lot lately and Jessica has nasty mood swings. I must think of CoP - There's a great big beautiful tomorrow?*** Forget Disney for now...your kids are all you need... Mike has wet the bed? Yeah, so didn't lots of other kids, about a hundred billion of them. And Jess is moody? Wow! Welcome to childhood, girl style! In other words, your kids are beautiful. They are themselves. They are kids. And they love YOU. Go with that vibe, and all the rest will hopefully fall into place (and even if it doesn't, your kids will follow you into hell if necessary...they just want to be with their folks and that's the bottom line).
Originally Posted By Mr X I just realized something totally freaky (and I think I always sort of missed it because you always refer to your youngest here on LP as "Mikey" rather than Mike)... I have a cousin who's two children are also..."Michael", and "Jessica". (sorry, just thought that was funny and small world-ish)
Originally Posted By KCCHIEF Dave........I am thinking about you........I know you will come out ahead no matter what you do..
Originally Posted By SBSBelle22 It is in times like these that I think WWWD? What Would Walt Do? When his latest projects seemed to drive the company on the brink of bankruptcy did he quit? Nope! He carried on with his dreams no matter what and though there were some stumbling blocks they became stepping stones and just look what one little mouse became. Praying for you and hoping it all works out okay.
Originally Posted By disney pete Dave as some have said here do what feels right for you,moms can be skittish like that some times,you are a great guy a wonderful father and husband and your work is second to none heres hoping you come through this little blip fast and you are back to be the big positive BALLOO that i met some years ago you gave me some advice when i was having bad times and it worked two words STAY FROSTY
Originally Posted By Disneymom443 Pull your streath from your wife and kids they are there for you. Only you know what is best for you and your family. Us here on LP can give you all the extra support that you need.( we are the extened family) I do hope everything so well for you and you can make the right decision. No matter what you choose it will be the best. I seem to be saying the same thing over and over just in different ways.
Originally Posted By u k fan Some great advice here Dave. I think that working for yourself sounds like it may be worth doing in the long run. Big Sis works for herself and you have to take the rough with the smooth, but it does give her more freedom to be with the kids if they need her. As you know I have a fantastic mum, but everyone falls out now and again. I had my brother put the phone down on me yesterday - twice. And right now he's annoying the living crud out of me, but I love him and I wouldn't swap him for anything. Do you have any friends in your professional field you can ask? I'd love to change jobs at the moment. If you ever need someone to work with you with no previous experience, let me know!!!
Originally Posted By RockyMtnMinnie If I need support or help, my mom is the LAST person I'm afraid I go to. I love her, but she is the queen of making me feel worse about myself than I already was. I can't post here the "lovely" response we go from her when I announced that I was pregnant. Do what is best for you and your family. Things will turn around. I lost my "recession proof" job on Apil 1st. How's that for an April Fools joke??? I've decided that this was an opportunity to change what I have been doing. Things in my new job are a little riskier, but I'm enjoying work much more now. Just got a call with another possible opportunity the other day. Have faith that this is only short term. What is important is you and your family.
Originally Posted By fkurucz Dave, Look at the bright side: If this had happened to you in the USA you would have also lost your employer provided health insurance. Sure, you could have paid to continue the coverage for up to 18 months (AKA COBRA), which would cost about $1000 per month (or more).
Originally Posted By DyGDisney Dave --- I have problems with my mom sometimes too. Maybe just giving yourself, and your mom, some time will help. Sounds like she was trying to make you feel guilty about something that isn't your fault, mom's are good at that. Good luck and congrats on whatever new endeavour you choose. This can be the beginning of something wonderful --- it was for my husband when he lost his job just before Christmas in '07. Seemed like the end of the world at the time, but things are great now!
