Originally Posted By LuLu Tomorrow DrFL and I leave for NYC with about 200 lbs of luggage! Yes, she's getting settled into dorm life. And this isn't even everything she'll need, so I have no idea how she'll get more than half her stuff back home! Anyway, my daughter has been a good buddy to me for years - she's kind of my perfect foil so I'm going to miss her terribly! The plane ride home is going to be very lonely - any suggestions are welcome! Be sure to send me some good vibes over the next few days. Thanks!
Originally Posted By friendofdd I wish you well in this separation, Lulu. Perhaps you should consider getting a hobby.
Originally Posted By u k fan LuLu, I guess you'll just have to visit DL more often! It's not something I've personally been through, but it must be a strange mix of both happiness and sadness you're feeling at the moment. Download some LP podcasts for the journey home - they're grewat to listen to when travelling!!!
Originally Posted By NAPC Oh Lulu! I just teared up!... I guess this means ill be coming to visit you quite often? =) *hugs* - NAPC
Originally Posted By LuLu >>Perhaps you should consider getting a hobby.<< I'm thinking that answering Lisann's soul-searching questions would be a good one - also catching up on those multi-hundred post topics like GDA's :-D u k fan, I'm definitely very proud of her and happy for her, but sad for myself. I know I'll get over it tho (and yeah, I'm kidding about LP ;-). But meeting LPers at DL could be a good thing! Thanks NAPC! Maybe I'll have to adopt you after all
Originally Posted By LuLu Now I have to go pack our last suitcase, and see if I'm going to be wearing the same outfit in NY for 4 days, so we can get all of DrFL's stuff in!! :-D
Originally Posted By Ursula Oh, you poor thing. Think of your freedom! Think of not having to arrange your life to her schedule! Think of getting a massage on Monday! Seriously! You've done it! You've raised a child from zero to college. Congratulations on a job well done!!!
Originally Posted By chickendumpling <<Perhaps you should consider getting a hobby.>> LOL @ fodd! LuLu, I am so happy for you. You've raised your little birdie well and now she is ready to spread her wings! Congratulations! Buuut, I totally understand the mix of happy and sad at the same time. One of my girlfriends is sending her "little boy" off to NYU this year so she and I have been talking about that a lot. It's an emotional time. In a good way but still emo. I did find an article that sounded pretty good so I thought I'd share it here. It's an interview with a psychologist on The Early Show: (the entire link is: <a href="http://tinyurl.com/6gtbb5" target="_blank">http://tinyurl.com/6gtbb5</a>) "First, she says the family needs to accept and adjust to the new family identity. "Because you know now the roles are going to change. Because now you have an adult that's on their own. They're making their own decisions. You're not up waiting to see if they met their curfew. They're making who they go out and picking their classes. That changes how you relate to them," "Goodman also advises to set some ground rules for everybody. "How much do you want them to call? When do you want to visit? What's going to happen with finances? What's going to happen when they come home? Overnight guests," Goodman says. "Everything changes now in terms of what do you want to expect from this new adult? And what does that new adult expect back from the parent?" She also recommends finding ways to be involved in each other's lives. "Send pictures, send e-mails. Don't stop communicating about what's going on. *** You know, when you get back together maybe for Christmas or Thanksgiving vacation, schedule one-on-one time that you know you've missed. Don't make it all about the whole family together." Lastly, Goodman says redirect your energy. "Don't start smothering the kids that are home. Think about what you've neglected. Look at your relationship with your husband, with your friends, your extended family. GO TO DISNEYLAND MORE!* You like to think when one door closes, another one opens," Goodman says. "Congratulate yourself that you've done a good job. You know, kind of rearrange the nest. Don't necessarily think it's totally empty. You can redecorate the nest." So I guess all that means one thing... Fodd's advice is right! * Okay, I put the Disneyland part in there. But it *is* a good idea!)
Originally Posted By iamsally Ditto Ursula's sentiments. I remember my daughter going off to a college over 2500 miles away. I still had two boys at home so not much time to indulge in my reverie. But I know you are very proud and you will be surprised how quickly your time will fill up. By the time my youngest left home I was ready for some me time and did not really feel too sad. Sending all the good thoughts I can out to you and your lovely daughter. (Just think, next time I ask you to join us on Pooh; you can just say yes.)
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 I will be sending you brave mommy vibes LuLu. As I said in another post, at times like this, thank goodness for cell phones and internet You'll be getting plenty of calls. My mom's remedy for a quiet house is to have a TV or radio on all the time. She has found a new love of classical music that she didn't know she had. Have cereal for dinner, eat at 4:30 if you feel like it, grocery shop at 7pm or take the dog to an afternoon obedience class Mix up your day so that after school and after dinner time doesn't seem so long. Renew your AP
Originally Posted By llanatoye I agree whole heartedly with amazedncal2, Lulu. When my son left for college it was difficult but not because I was sad, well maybe a little, I only have one child, but it was, gosh I don't know how to put this in words exactly, it was different because I was used to fitting my time in with his and all of a sudden you find yourself trying to figure out what it is your supposed to be doing. Some of it is bittersweet because you're used to discussing daily things with them. But then, and it happened gradually, I did as amazedncal2 said, I switched it up. I did alot of things I normally did in the course of my day but I found myself doing something like having pizza and cherry pie for dinner, not even because I really wanted it I don't think but because it was fun to something totally out of character for me. It made me laugh, distracted me and I found a different kind of freedom. You'll always miss your daughter, and worry about her too, but in a different way than when you had her at home. And when she comes home for breaks it'll be so special. I think I said before, in another thread, that you'll be fine, just different. Take joy in the differences and be proud to show off what ever new things you might do and encounter. Daughter will love to hear about it and may even end up scratching her head and saying "that's my Mom?" she never did that before! And yes, renew that AP and I'll meet you at the park one day! I'll be thinking about you Lulu, hang tough and keep smiling.
Originally Posted By DJ7K {{{ LuLu }}} I have no idea personally about the lonely rides back, in the sense of riding with a person you're bidding goodbye to for awhile, but when I read that I couldn't help but empathize. Gosh my pass expires in October and I still have no reliable way of getting to and from the park, so I probably won't be able to join.
Originally Posted By MissCandice WOW! Dr Fruit Loop is going to college?!? She cannot be old enough for this already? I am so excited for her, wow, what an adventure. If you don't mind me asking, what school is she going to? I know this has gotta be rough for you though. Like others have said, be proud of your accomplishment of getting her this far and try and stay busy.
Originally Posted By LuLu >>you will be surprised how quickly your time will fill up.<< My challenge will be to see that it doesn't fill up with solitary things. As an introvert, I retreat when stressed, and I've done nothing but retreat, retreat, retreat since the loss of my marriage, my dad, my aunts and uncle, etc. So I really have to *work* at putting myself out there and doing things. Doubly challenging, as it seems my local friends are always so busy and even why I *do* try to get together with them, it's like pulling teeth. Sometimes I really wish I had some family nearby! :-( I've really thought that meeting LPers at DL might be an answer. I'm hoping that *some* of my free time fills up with more work tho, as this is certainly a costly time of life - even just paying to bring DD home, or to visit her! Yikes!! >>(Just think, next time I ask you to join us on Pooh; you can just say yes.)<< Thanks, that made me laugh
Originally Posted By LuLu Thanks to everyone for your kind thoughts. I really appreciate them! MissC, I will gladly tell you by email but prefer not to post it here, however it IS in NYC!
Originally Posted By Lisann22 I can't imagine what it feels like to say goodbye to your child. I just went through a pretty depressed state this week knowing that my sister and brother-in-law were driving my nephew to college in AZ and I didn't get to say goodbye to him in person. That just about ripped my heart out as I don't know when I'll see him with me being in Atlanta. Hang in there LuLu, I'm confident you'll adjust. My sister is already signed up for some fun classes at the local JC and thinking of new hobbies that don't include sweaty basketball players and their feet in her vehicle or 10 boxes of cereal a week being consumed. LOL
Originally Posted By Inspector 57 It does seem amazing that DrFL is a college student already! I'm sorry for the inevitable feelings of loss and loneliness, LuLu. I hope that they will be mild. I also hope that you are taking the opportunity this milestone presents to step back and realize, "Gosh, I'm lucky -- and I did a good job! My daughter is smart and successful, and a nice person, and she and I have a great relationship. I'm really in an enviable position." I can only think of a couple things to offer beyond the good suggestions that have been written here... ... Don't take it personally if it turns out that she doesn't initiate contact with you as often as you think she might. The first year of college, especially, can be very consuming. She may "take advantage" of the security of your relationship while she pursues new friendships. (Example: On a Sunday morning, she's about to call you. Someone knocks on her door and says, "A bunch of us are going to go explore Central Park! Come with us -- now!" So she postpones the call 'til late -- or the next day.) It's normal. It doesn't mean that her affection, appreciation, or need for you have changed. ... A couple ways to do something you enjoy with your newly-freed-up time while possibly meeting interesting people might be (a) taking a language, cooking, design, history (or whatever!) course at a local adult ed outlet, community college, or university, and (b) getting involved in the local small-business association or trade group. Congratulations, LuLu! Sincere best wishes for a smooth transition -- starting with getting all that stuff onto the plane!
Originally Posted By Mary Poppins Congratulations Lulu and DrFrootLoop for reaching this milestone. Of course,as with many milestones, great joy is mixed with tinges of sorrow. How well I identify with you although my son goes to a local university. All my best to DrFrootLoop and you, Lulu, in this transition period of your lives. Have you (Lulu) thought of taking a retreat (Christian or personal growth) as a means to get in touch with your wants and needs as a newly single person.
