Originally Posted By teddibubbles I am so angery right now! I just had the MEANEST ----- woman Put me down. Laugh at me! and be VERY VERY RUDE. MOCKING ME! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Becuse of my Business letter! PLEASE I am right now leveing out the personal info. but can you DEAR Friends PLEASE I BEG YOU! Look at see WHAT I did wrong! PLEASE! I want this letter to be VERY pro looking! BUT see really its only ME doing the job! I want it to sound like a pro office. yet not be misleading as if it IS a Big office. (( this letter is a suplament to the legal forms I send! ))Thank you! CALIFORNIA HEIR FINDER INVESTIGATOR FORMS Heir finders or asset locators are individuals or companies that offer to reunite the apparent owner or heirs with unclaimed property (also known as an investigator or asset locator), he or she may charge you a fee not to exceed 10% of the value of the property, per Section 1582 of California's Unclaimed Property Law __________________________________________________________________ Hello I am blah blah As a C,R,S private Investigator. Locating and Retrieving your Accounts for you. Is my number one priority. As an Investigator. I am Proud to say. I personally Have Located millions of dollars for corporations and individuals. As a private Investigator service C,R,S uphold responsible means for protecting the confidentiality of your personal information. C,R,S gathers all information through Lawful means. and never uses your personal information. other then in proving your case. all personally identifiable information is disposed of when no longer required. In order to prevent unauthorized access or use of data. As a private Investigator service C,R,S understands the importance of maintaining your privacy when submitting your case forms to the State of California Controllers Office. When our office receives your completed claim form, we review it carefully. If the evidence is not adequate to prove your ownership, our office will contact you or return all documents submitted, with a letter stating why the claim is incomplete. The Unclaimed Property law was enacted to prevent holders of Unclaimed Property from using your money and taking it into their business income. This law gives the State an opportunity to return your money Businesses and financial institutions (holders) are required to send a notice to your last known address, informing you that your account will be transferred to the State Controller for safekeeping if you do not notify the institution of your intent to maintain your account. If the institution is unable to contact you, or if you fail to contact the institution, your account is remitted to the State. The State Controller's Office will send a notice informing you of your Unclaimed Property, provided it is able to find a more current address by matching your reported Social Security number with the Franchise Tax Board's records. The State acquires unclaimed property through California's Unclaimed Property Law, which requires "holders" such as corporations, business associations, financial institutions, and insurance companies to annually report and deliver property to the Controller's Office after there has been no customer contact for three years. Often the owner forgets that the account exists, or moves and does not leave a forwarding address or the forwarding order expires. In some cases, the owner dies and the heirs have no knowledge of the property. After forms are Submitted it can be 180 days or longer. as they are behind in their work load. thank you ______________________________________________________________________ Please feel free to Check out my Legal Standing with the California State Contollers Office C,R,S Investigator blah blah (000) 000-0000 ______________________________________________________________________ If You have Conserns about an Heir Finder or Private Investigator. contact your California State Controllers Office At (916) 323-2827 out of State 1 800 992- 4647
Originally Posted By RoadTrip Teddi, Your main problem seems to be breaking what should be one sentence into several incomplete sentences. There are also times when you capitalize a word within a sentence when it shouldn't be. I've tried to correct your letter the best I can without knowing the details behind your business or the California law. Proper grammar is very important when sending out a business letter. To be honest, I would never hire someone whose introductory letter was full of mistakes. That letter provides potential customers with their first impression of you and it is important that it be good. You might want to have a friend or relative review the standard letters you send out in connection with your business. I hope you do well in your business and that increased attention to grammar will also bring increased business! <<Hello I am blah blah As a CRS private Investigator locating and retrieving your Accounts for you is my number one priority. As an Investigator I am proud to say that I personally have located millions of dollars for corporations and individuals. As a private Investigator service CRS accepts responsibility for protecting the confidentiality of your personal information. CRS gathers all information through lawful means and never uses your personal information for anything other than proving your case. All personally identifiable information is disposed of when no longer required in order to prevent unauthorized access or use of data. As a private Investigator service CRS understands the importance of maintaining your privacy when submitting your case forms to the State of California Controllers Office. When our office receives your completed claim form we review it carefully. If the evidence is not adequate to prove your ownership, our office will contact you or return all documents submitted with a letter stating why the claim is incomplete. The Unclaimed Property law was enacted to prevent holders of unclaimed property from using your money and treating it as business income. Businesses and financial institutions (holders) are required to send a notice to your last known address, informing you that your account will be transferred to the State Controller for safekeeping if you do not notify the institution of your intent to maintain your account. If the institution is unable to contact you, or if you fail to contact the institution, your account is remitted to the State. The State Controller's Office will send a notice informing you of your unclaimed property provided it is able to find a more current address by matching your reported Social Security number with the Franchise Tax Board's records. The State acquires unclaimed property through California's Unclaimed Property Law, which requires "holders" such as corporations, business associations, financial institutions, and insurance companies to annually report and deliver property to the Controller's Office after there has been no customer contact for three years. Often the owner forgets that the account exists, or moves and does not leave a forwarding address or the forwarding order expires. In some cases, the owner dies and the heirs have no knowledge of the property. After forms are submitted it can be 180 days or longer as they are behind in their work load. Thank you>>
Originally Posted By teddibubbles Thank you Very much Road trip. I just am a BIG cry baby! I so want to do a job at home on my PC But it is hard haveing the spelling problem that I do. I will copy and paste your letter in the place it should be. then re print them. Thank You So Much!
Originally Posted By SoThisIsLove Teddi, I am very sorry. There are people in today's world who seem to live to hurt other people. I've made some corrections, mostly in capitalizations. I'm not a legal secretary, so I'm not sure if certain terms need to be capitalized or not. Just print it out and see how it works for you. Best of luck to you! ***What does C.R.S stand for? You may want to spell it out.*** CALIFORNIA HEIR FINDER Heir finders or asset locators are individuals or companies that offer to reunite owners or heirs with unclaimed property. Per Section 1582 of California's Unclaimed Property Law, you may be charged a fee not to exceed 10% of the value of the property. __________________________________________________________________ Hello I am blah blah As a private investigator with C.R.S., locating and retrieving your property is my number one priority. I have located millions of dollars in property and assets for many corporations and individuals. The Unclaimed Property Law was enacted to prevent holders of unclaimed property from using your money as their own. The State acquires unclaimed property through California's Unclaimed Property Law, which requires "holders" such as corporations, business associations, financial institutions, and insurance companies to annually report and deliver property to the Controller's Office after there has been no customer contact for three years. Often the owner forgets that the account exists, or moves and does not leave a forwarding address or the forwarding order expires. In some cases, the owner dies and the heirs have no knowledge of the property. If the institution is unable to contact you, or if you fail to contact the institution, your account is remitted to the State. The State Controller's Office will send a notice informing you of your unclaimed property, provided it is able to find a current address by matching your reported social security number with the Franchise Tax Board's records. C.R.S. protects your confidentiality and maintains your privacy when submitting your case forms to the State of California Controllers Office. When our office receives your completed claim form, we review it carefully. If complete, we forward your claim for processing. If the evidence is not adequate to prove your ownership, our office will contact you and explain the reason why. Please contact me today for further information. I look forward to helping you. ___________________________________________________ Check my credentials with the California State Controllers Office C.R.S. Investigator blah blah (000) 000-0000 ______________________________________________________________________ If you have concerns about an heir finder or private investigator. contact your California State Controllers Office At (916) 323-2827. Out of State (blah blah) Don't have time/knowledge to do a more in-depth job on it. Again, good luck.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip Teddi, SoThisIsLove made some changes in how your letter was organized which is an improvement I did not make. I would advise you to use that letter rather than mine.
Originally Posted By SoThisIsLove Aw, shucks, RoadTrip, that's sweet. And you gave such solid advice that I wished I would've given....! Good job! I am the queen of re-writes around here at work. Happy New Year to you both, and may 2007 be the best ever.
Originally Posted By teddibubbles Thank you. it was to long to print on a page the other way. (((((( big hugs))))) To both of you
Originally Posted By teddibubbles ***What does C.R.S stand for? You may want to spell it out.*** LOL the state said I had to give them 3 cap letters as a name. I used my Name as them.. LOL BUT. they had to mean something to clients so I thought of a GOOD ONE! they stand for. (( AND its at the bottom of my letter head in SMALL wrighting. C,R,S Corporate Resource Securities Private Investigator Services *Business at it's best since 09,23,05 ;-D
Originally Posted By teddibubbles see I am only C,R,S and my real name to the state. So the other BIG meaning is made up ! As I have to say SOME meaning to a client
Originally Posted By teddibubbles I KNOW the whole thing sounds fishy. but THAT IS the way the state certifide me. I dont put Corporate Resource Securities as a Main name . becuse its not a copy righted name. only C,R,S is the real name! HEY.. KFC is not their real full name
Originally Posted By LPFan22 Try not to take the mocking personally, teddi. Some people just don't understand. We know you try your best. =)
Originally Posted By teddibubbles CALIFORNIA HEIR FINDER Heir finders or asset locators are individuals or companies that offer to reunite owners or heirs with unclaimed property. Per Section 1582 of California's Unclaimed Property Law, you may be charged a fee not to exceed 10% of the value of the property. __________________________________________________________________ Hello I am blah blah As a private investigator with C.R.S., locating and retrieving your property is my number one priority. I have located millions of dollars in property and assets for many corporations and individuals. The Unclaimed Property Law was enacted to prevent holders of unclaimed property from using your money as their own. The State acquires unclaimed property through California's Unclaimed Property Law, which requires "holders" such as corporations, business associations, financial institutions, and insurance companies to annually report and deliver property to the Controller's Office after there has been no customer contact for three years. Often the owner forgets that the account exists, or moves and does not leave a forwarding address or the forwarding order expires. In some cases, the owner dies and the heirs have no knowledge of the property. If the institution is unable to contact you, or if you fail to contact the institution, your account is remitted to the State. The State Controller's Office will send a notice informing you of your unclaimed property, provided it is able to find a current address by matching your reported social security number with the Franchise Tax Board's records. C.R.S. protects your confidentiality and maintains your privacy when submitting your case forms to the State of California Controllers Office. When our office receives your completed claim form, we review it carefully. If complete, we forward your claim for processing. If the evidence is not adequate to prove your ownership, our office will contact you and explain the reason why. After forms are submitted it can be 180 days or longer as they are behind in their work load. Please contact me today for further information. I look forward to helping you. ___________________________________________________ Check my credentials with the California State Controllers Office C.R.S. Investigator blah blah (000) 000-000 _____________________________________________________________________ If you have concerns about an heir finder or private investigator. contact your California State Controllers Office At (916) 323-2827. Out of State 1 800 992- 4647 ________________________________________________________________________________ C,R,S Corporate Resource Securities Private Investigator Services *Business at it's best since 09,23,05
Originally Posted By onlyme Looks like these two have helped make the letter look much more professional. That's very nice of you guys. The letter looks great now. BTW, not to take business away from anyone, but I just went to... <a href="http://scoweb.sco.ca.gov/UCP/" target="_blank">http://scoweb.sco.ca.gov/UCP/</a> and found that my wife had $25.00 in some old forgotten credit union. Thanks Teddi. Where can I send your $2.50 finders fee! I wish you luck and hope you get a lot of business.
Originally Posted By teddibubbles Thank You. I didn't want to sound mocking. Im sorry if I sounded that way! onlyme Yup there is lots of stuff on there. but companys allways say they have people that do that! I have located money. but people think your scaming them if you try contacting. I may need to just try finding a better hobby then this. as its not working out.
Originally Posted By onlyme BTW, my wife, who is Hispanic, is very intelligent, but she was raised speaking only Spanish. She really didn't learn English until she started school. Spanish was all her parents spoke. I never really did have a deep conversation with either of them. I know some Spanish, but not enough to have a long conversation. Anyway, her grammar has never been the best. But, it's not because she is dumb or anything like that; it has nothing to do with that. She just didn't have the training that many other people had. She works at Merrill Lynch, so she ain't no dummy. My point is...Lack of grammar skills does not mean anything, except that you, or anyone else for that manner, have not had the training that others have had. I spent too many years in college, so of course, I might have an easier time writing a letter then someone who dropped out of school in the 8th grade. Unfortunately, in business, grammar is very important. Just to show you how smart I am, I'm sure this post and most others I write have a ton of errors, but, oh well
Originally Posted By teddibubbles Thank you. I do try. I think what happens alot .I have noted like when I type. I find I do know how to spell some words. but when I see it posted. I may have put a e in stead of a r . or something like that. I know it is a VERY bad thing not to spell good! LOL and I tend to use VERY small words talking. as I know I cant spell BIG words. By the way. I want to learn a new word! can you teach me the right spelling for> mean and meanning. #1 way is a mean person. #2 the other is the intentsion of a word thank you
Originally Posted By jdub Teddi, I am not joking or trying to mock you when I suggest this: I strongly, seriously urge you to find the time to take a basic-level community college English course. If you have to test to get into it, they can assess whether there is a different course that would be more suitable. This is the rest of your life we are talking about here, and writing is a very necessary skill, personally AND professionally. People DO judge you by how you speak and write, and you cannot fault someone for deciding against doing business with you based on the communication level they experience from you. In addition to the courses (yes, it is a continuing thing--not just one), I strongly urge you to read, and read, and read. Fiction, nonfiction, newspapers--FIND THE TIME. This does not replace formal education, & formal education does not replace this. Both are vital. With a lot of effort on your part, you can make a major change in your life. Please take this in the spirit it is offered to you, and best wishes.
Originally Posted By melekalikimaka One of my best friends was a poor speller. She ended up being the editor of her college newspaper and is a copy editor at a major newspaper now. Her spelling has gotten much better but I'm sure she uses spellcheck whenever possible.
Originally Posted By teddibubbles Well the only problem I have with that is. I am a HUGE reader. I went to a class when I was in a continuation school in 1975. they determined my reading level was Jr level in collage way back then. even the GAME on LP had me as and above average reader. I may not be able to say the word. but I can tell you what it means! THAT was WHY they PUT me in that school! back then. I own about 300 books. and rescue Classic Hardbacks as a hobby. I admit I am VERY bad at math! and don't WANT TO go through that again. as far as schooling. there is just a small collage..high school things here in this desert. and The last school. That HAD a program. just scratched their heads as to why I can read and UNDERSTAND the meanings BEYOND my vocabulary. so schools here I don't feel they would help me do you?
Originally Posted By teddibubbles LOL you can test me. it would be fun! post some big words here! I PROMIS I wont look them up! But I will Tell you WHAT they mean! I will leve blank any word I cant quess the meaning to!
