Originally Posted By LuLu Parents, teens and anyone else are welcome to comment! I'm a somewhat nervous driver and a terrible passenger, so I'm not very good at accompanying my daughter while she drives. However her dad doesn't want her driving his cars (one a minivan and one a stick, so not really appropriate), and she spends most of her time with me, so I get asked constantly if she can drive wherever we happen to be going. Most of the time, I'm uncomfortable because there's so much traffic, like driving to school, there's so many cars dropping of, weaving in and out, I'm just nervous there'll be a fender bender. But she gets kinda insulted when I don't want her to drive. She does get 5 hours (I think) with an instructor, and I've asked dad to take her out sometimes in my car. But I'm not sure when to let her drive or not on our local jaunts. Just wondered how other parents and teens have worked this out. Just yesterday (on a Sunday afternoon!) I was getting on the freeway and a mobile home wouldn't let me over, plus there were 2 cars on the shoulder, so it was almost scary for me to navigate that. She seems to have confidence that she can handle any driving situation, but I don't, and I know that I'm right, yet I have to let her practice... help!
Originally Posted By Lisann22 My dad took me and then I took my sister for late night and early morning drives working our way up to heavy traffic. My dad always did patterns that had a lot of on and off the highways, turning into traffic and lane changes so we'd become more and more comfortable. I can tell you my experience and my 15 year old nephews (who currently has his permit) is when in driving school, they just drive no matter what the conditions are.
Originally Posted By thenurmis My thoughts are with you....and your car. No hints as to how to "get over it" My plan is to never let them near my car. They want to drive a car, they can buy the car. The idea of any of them driving makes me nervous....God be with you ; )
Originally Posted By MissCandice <<<Just yesterday (on a Sunday afternoon!) I was getting on the freeway and a mobile home wouldn't let me over,>>> Ok, I am sorry but I had a giggle over that. Talk about a house with good freeway access!!
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Anything you can do know to teach her to drive a stick now is a good idea.
Originally Posted By MissCandice Oooyeah, I second that. I am 34 and I still don't know how to drive stick. I really wish I would have learned.
Originally Posted By trailsend Lisann is right. I believe this is one of the hardest things in the world to do. You never know what kind of person you are until you get into the car with your child when they begin to learn to drive. As soon as both my children turned 15, we went to get the learner's permit. They had gone through much study and had to take a test to receive it. That means here, in Georgia, for a year they drive but ONLY with adult supervision. I let them drive everywhere. It was harder for my husband; it is VERY DIFFICULT to sit in the passenger seat while they learn. My feelings are this: the more they learn to drive in any situation; rain; heavy traffic; Interstate traffic with merging lanes, etc; 2 lane roads; night driving; driving in bright sun, and I could go on and on, the more comfortable and skillful they will be. Then, when that moment comes and they get the "real" license and go out the door WITHOUT you and they are alone in the car, you will feel confident knowing they have been driving and learning for a year what to do in all kinds of situations. I always preferred my children to drive when they were with friends because I KNEW they were capable. I know some parents who couldn't take the part you are going through now, LuLu, and consequently their children weren't as steady with the responsibility of a car. We traveled a great deal with my daughter while she was playing tennis tournaments. When we left for a trip, it was her job to get the Atlas, map out the trip to our destination, and off we would go. The experience was invaluable. And please, get an Atlas and make sure your child knows how to read a map. It is amazing how many people have no idea how to get places. Do your homework now, LuLu, and you'll be happy you did.
Originally Posted By SuzieQ I'll be joining the the 'parents of teens with a permit' club in three days!
Originally Posted By Jim in Merced CA Man, I as SO not looking forward to this. And it's a good 5 years away for me. My question is, why do kids age 15 have to start driving a car? Why don't we raise the age of driving to 18?
Originally Posted By Lisann22 I learned to drive a stick in SF. All my cars until my 4Runner were sticks. So, now when for whatever reason I'm generally in a situation that the automoblie, truck or other type of vehicle is needed to be driven - I'm it. Seems hardly, anyone knows how anymore.
Originally Posted By SuzieQ ^ Because I'm sick of being a taxi! I can't wait for my son to have his license! Right now, he's dependent upon us or his friends to get him home by curfew. A few groundings have been because his friends with later curfews have refused at the last minute to bring him home. It was totally out of his control and he got stuck. We do late evening drives right now. We started in the neighborhood, and have progressed to regular streets. He's still a little uncomfortable changing lanes on higher speed roads with traffic. And, he's very much looking forward to our driving vacation to Yellowstone next summer because he can help drive.
Originally Posted By jnemo College parking lots. They are great on Sunday afternoons when school is out. But really she needs to drive in those situations so that you know she is capable when she gets her license. I went though it with two daughters they both turned out fine but we did get to fender benders from the high school parking lot. But they were lessons for the girls also.
Originally Posted By Dave It wasn't a problem. Third day out we was near the DLR and waiting on D&R so I decided it was time for a trip down the 91 fwy and then south on the 5 fwy. We both lived to talk about it. Lulu, Do need ya need trainer?? I'm cheap.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 You sound like my sister with her 15 year old SuzieQ!! Heck, we are all his taxi drivers, he has no qualms in calling my sister, mom or me. Ayi yi yi! I drove from SF to DL when I was 15. That pretty much covered all the different traffic scenarios. LOL!
Originally Posted By LuLu Wow! Lots of good advice and some giggles too! You're right Candice, it was actually one of those huge RV things that's the size of a mobile home! LOL! Lisann, I agree that I should set the bar low now and continue to raise it. I told her she could drive to Ventura Sunday morning (30 minute drive), but we got out late so I was already a little stressed about getting there on time. Once she lurched the car I kinda snapped at her to get out and let me drive. I felt bad I think we should just make special trips for her to practice instead of her expecting to drive on our errands - for now. Jim, at least it's 15 1/2 now. I've always thought it was too young also. Even tho my daughter is extremely mature - driving a car is not an easy thing to just sit down and do!! It's crazy!! =8-O I agree about learning a stick too, a good thing to know. Makes you a better driver of an automatic too, I think. Maybe dad can help here. And yeah, her first drive with the instuctor they went EVERYWHERE! Man those people must have nerves of steel! God love ya, trailsend, I hope the traffic is less in Georgia than in SoCal! It's almost always heavy here! But I will heed your advice, good stuff there.
Originally Posted By LuLu More great advice! Thanks all! Wow Suzie, your son's *already* driving! DD won't drive unless she has her permit *with* her, but at least she has one! (She is so darn honest I can trust her with anything - except driving in traffic! :-D)
Originally Posted By m2 Well I just got through the permit stage and now my daughter has had her license for just over a month. Riding with her wasn't easy. She said I really made her more nervous. One lesson I learned early on is don't say stop unless you really want her to stop right that instant. We mostly did neighborhood driving in the evenings. We also did quite a bit of parking lot driving at night. The parking lot is great practice for parking and backing up. I remember the first trip onto the freeway was a little scary. The merge was easy but I just felt she wasn't looking far enough ahead to see what was coming. One thing I would remind her of over and over is you need to not only worry about your driving but the other peoples driving too. Never assume they see you or know what you are going to do. I really stressed defensive driving with her. This was backed up in the driving classes she took. As for getting out of the driving to school in the morning I was able to tell her I didn't want to have to get out of the car with my sweats on and my hair messed. She never tried asking again. It took a lot of holding my hands in my lap and acting to get through the permit. She would say "mom you keep grabbing for the "OS" handle and it really makes me nervous." You just have to try to stay as calm as possible. I was also lucky in that MNG didn't mind going out and riding with her. Having an adult who is not a parent helped a lot. His car was actually a stick and we made sure she had some driving time with that too. She's not good at it but if she had to she could drive a stick. I actually learned how to drive with a stick and to this day I am very happy about it. Try setting some driving times with her in advance. After dinner or right before dinner worked well for us. Maybe with some planned driving time she won't feel the need to ask when you are just running around. As nice as it is having her driving now and not having to run her around, it's still not easy. I wish you guys luck. So far so good for us and she is working two jobs to pay for gas and has all A's and B+'s in school.
Originally Posted By m2 Oh and don't let Dave fool ya. I was on the phone with him at times when he was teaching his daughter to drive. There were a couple of times I would have to wait for awhile to hear that everybody was ok. I'd take him up on his offer Lulu!
Originally Posted By 999HAUNTS Lulu, Finally a subject that I can confess to! My daughter is 15 11/12ths. She has completed the drivers ed part, but not the drivers training part. You see, teens cannot get a drivers permit without being enrolled in drivers training. Problem solved. LOL
