Originally Posted By liveforvacations I've noticed that a lot of people come here to get some unbiased opinions about issues with regard to relationships etc. so I thought I would come here with something that has been bothering me. I consider myself a pretty easy going, patient person who always tries to look on the bright side of things and to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I have an unpleasant interaction with someone recently that has been bothering me. We are both PAC members (PTA members to all you Americans)and have recently been planning a pancake breakfast. This person, who we will call Patty, came up with this originally and as part of the breakfast, we give a small gift to all the students. In previous years, we have been fortunate to find good gifts for our budget of about $500.00. This year, despite all efforts, we have come up with nothing. So, we were in the school office the other day and Patty said to me that we still had to find a gift. I replied that if we couldn't find anything good, that it wouldn't be the end of the world as the whole breakfast in the gym and Santa coming was the most important thing. She then replied that of course we had to get a gift. I replied that we had already spent a lot of time looking and I thought we should do our best to find something but that we didn't want to spend that kind of money on just anything just in order to have a gift for every student. Her reply was to hold up her hand at me and say very sharply "Enough!" I was very offended and feel that this was very disrespectful. I feel like this is not an appropriate way to speak to someone and she was treating me as if I were her child. I am still upset days later and I just can't seem to get over it. Am I right or am I overreacting?
Originally Posted By mele Yeah, I don't blame you for being offended. That was incredibly rude. What an awful way to communicate with someone. I would have been speechless. If it continues to bother you, I might suggest talking with her about it. It doesn't have to be a big confrontation (although, SHE might make it turn into one but then you'll **know* she's nuts) but you can calmly tell her that you didn't appreciate the fact that she cut you off while you were speaking. Of course, you run the risk of her offending you a heck of a lot more!
Originally Posted By Mickeymouseclub Did you offer a response or were you obediently quiet due to the shock? I know that would have been my response and then still be upset days later as you are. Don't you wish you had said yes it is enough and just walk away. I suppose the important response is to stay focused on the project thru completion. And think twice about volunteering alongside someone like this next year. i hope you can refrain from "discussing' this with others in the PAC. It will keep from accomplishing future goals for the children. Take the high road which you can proudly say you have.
Originally Posted By oredisneyfan I agree that is very rude and I would have been offended too. The sad thing is is that this event is for the kids and it sounds like this person is participating for all the wrong reasons, I found that in our PTO some people did it for self recognition. It sounds like you are there for the kids
Originally Posted By Disneymom443 She was very rude to you. Cutting you off like that and not even listening to you was wrong. It is hard to do but take a deep breath and now that what you are going is the best you can do. I kids don't care about the $ amount and remember this is for the kids. That is what should be said to Patty, she just might put for hand up though.
Originally Posted By Ursula Yeah, I'd be offended. Depending on the situation (as in who was in ear-shot) people like that need to be called out. I wouldn't have done it in front of wee ones, though. That was very rude of her. Next time you see her, call her aside and let her know.
Originally Posted By Mickeymouseclub I used to volunteer a lot for the elementary schools amazing how assertive and aggressive some volunteers can be when it comes to their children's happiness. If this was a first incident be thankful she revealed her true personality and now you know to avoid volunteering with her. You need to remember you are basically there for your children and their future relationships with their classmates,friends and teachers and this includes improving the quality of the school environment.I would think about treating yourself with respect; because this woman does not have respect for herself or others.
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 I also would have been speechless and seething days later. She should be apologizing to you. When I did school volunteer work I did learn to avoid the "queen bees"
Originally Posted By 999HAUNTS That was extremely uncalled for. I think your best plan of action is to find the best gifts you can for the kids behind her back so you can get recognized in front of her while she is seething in the background. LOL
Originally Posted By iamsally >>>>>I feel like this is not an appropriate way to speak to someone and she was treating me as if I were her child.<<<<< I would not even speak to a child like that. (Maybe my husband LOL) Anyway, I would be very offended. And likely just say nothing and keep seething. I never think fast enough in situations like that. Try not to let her ruin your Holidays. Do the best you can. What kind of gifts did you have in mind?
Originally Posted By DlandDug That was a very rude, very impatient action on "Patty's" part. I doubt there is any reasonable response to something like that. I am sorry it has left you so upset, but it is certainly understandable. You sound like a caring, reasonable person; bear in mind not everyone else is. Try not to let "Patty" rob you of your joy in life.
Originally Posted By Moltres Who is the senior position, you or her? If it's you, then tell her how it's going to be. If it's her, then suck it up, put on your big girl pants and get over it. If you two are equals, fight for what you believe is best for the kids, and if you get too fed up with her, walk away and let her handle the whole thing.
Originally Posted By KatieKate123 It was def rude, and uncalled for. It dosen't matter who is in the senior position, you should always fight for what you believe esp when it involves children, that can't speak up for themselves. Anyways unfortuanlly to be the bigger person you have to let it go, and just move on. SHe was rude, but don't let it bring you down days later. I know its harder to say than do, but its not good for you to hold on too things. I def would not speak to anyone like that, not even my children. Everyone has a voice and it should be heard.
Originally Posted By fkurucz I had someone do something similar to me, in front of a crowd of people even. My reaction was very simple. In a child like voice I replied "Yes mother." You should have seen her face! She was furious. A few people even laughed.
