Originally Posted By hayden Booked Grand California for May 3 rooms cost a fortune , My son , My wifes Son and three grandkids.. WE were just HAPPY as we love this place.. Now my Son has invited his mother to share their room .. Yes my Ex wife I told him to uninvite her now !! MY wife is very understanding but we paid for all this and she wants to have this Happy family thing. To all you grown kids out their when someone pays your way you have no right to invite other people or never expect to have your way paid for again !!
Originally Posted By plutospal77 I agree with you, I'd uninvite her, course that's why my family calls me the Evil Queen.
Originally Posted By MOLLYSMOM Is your son an idiot??????????? No offense to you, dad, but what was he thinking?????????????? I get along with my ex, but NO WAY would he come on our family vacation with us. Your ex isn't seriously considering this, is she?????????????? Your pain is felt by all of us..........
Originally Posted By hayden She is going and thinks its time for my wife and me to grow up and think of the grandkids.. My wife says she,s cancelling our room and her sons and grandkids and they can have their vacation and pay for all the meals and transportation themselves as we were driving and picking everyone up... My wife is beside herself and really feels betrayed by my son and his wife , They probally just lost their downpayment for their house .. My wife is so upset and I do not know what to do... but I told her we are cancelling everything not just our vacation and they can pay for the whole thing and we will just take our grandkids when they are a little older...
Originally Posted By melekalikimaka Can't the ex-wife just get her own hotel room and pay her own way? Then you can all be grown ups and still have fun at DL.
Originally Posted By ImARebel Wow, I am so sorry that such a happy occasion was ruined for you!! It's too bad that everyone's trip has to be ruined by your son and his mother's selfishness. Have you thought about just cancelling your son's trip and not everyone else's? It seems unfair that you and your wife and her son's family should be punished by his behaviour.
Originally Posted By Bucky N Satchel You certainly within your rights to cancel (and it was VERY rude for your son to invite someone else without talking to you first). But I would be careful about burning bridges. Your son and D-I-L could make it VERY difficult for you with your gradkids. Take some time to cool down and have a family meeting. Explain that although Mom has moved on to the point where she's comfortable with joint vacations, the two of you have not and it might have been cool if you had been consulted first. Just my $0.02
Originally Posted By hayden The point is this was to make our family one like the boys my son her son spending time with us together and the kids and my wife and me the boys our in their late 30 the grandkids are all under 4 and we thought this would be great, meet for dinners change grandkids go together for some things spread apart for others .The grandkids were bringing us all together, I can't explain it right but I have been married to my wife for 22 years its not a new thing and my ex left me and is still living with this guy who apparently does not do well (not my fault) I have cancelled nothing but my wife is the BIG breadwinner in this family so in about a month she'll know..we cancelled a earlier trip in Feb for this trip. We love Disneyland and go at least once a year!! Forget this just a warning to you all , I never even thought about this...
Originally Posted By SuzieQ Holy cow! Your son got hit with an Idiot Stick!! Not only was inviting his mother inappropriate, it was just plain rude. I agree with you. Cancel the trip, take the grandkids another time. Your wife has every right to feel immensely hurt.
Originally Posted By MOLLYSMOM Deep breaths, Hayden. I think we all can appreciate your efforts , along with your wife's, to bring your sons, and their respective families together. However, this doesn't seem to be working out very well for you, and it sounds like you've tried this once before. Your son is in his 30's, right? His actions sound more like a 12 year olds. You and your wife love Disneyland...take the trip, and take along her son and his family. He's not causing problems, right? Why should he have to suffer? I'm going to bet that you will all have a wonderful time, and be glad that you went. If your son wants to get all bent about it, then let him. If he and his mother can't understand why this is not acceptable to you and your wife, then he needs to go see Dr. Phil. If he wants to spend time with his mother , then let her pay to take he and his family to Disneyland. This is YOUR family's vacation, darn it! I'm sorry, but your ex doesn't belong in the mix. It's not like the both of you are attending a grandchild's birthday party together....this is a FAMILY vacation. Man, I got so worked up that I gotta take a deep breath or two.....maybe a beer would be better...........
Originally Posted By Ursula I agree with Suzie except don't cancel the trip. Take your wife!!! Or better yet, tell your son to un-invite his mother or the trip is cancelled.
Originally Posted By plutospal77 Make your wife happy and surprise her with a trip with just the two of you. But make the plans and just surprise her, she'll be happy. If my husband surprised me with a DL trip I'd be happy!
Originally Posted By debtee ohhh ahhh what a mess! I feel sorry for you that you have a son that's so inconsiderate to other people's feelings! Your wife has every reason to be upset. My 2 cents is what someone said above. Cancel your son's trip and go to DL with your wife and her son and his family as then you will all have a great time! I also agree that it's better to not burn bridges as they can make it extremely difficult for you to see the kids in the future! Your Ex-wife is a mischief maker for sure! Sending good thoughts that it all works out for you all.
Originally Posted By nemopoppins I don't think you should cower to your son's every rude whim just in case he might withhold your grandchildren from you. Someone who would do that would do that whether or not you went along with his outrageous behavior. Unfortunately, the grandkids are the ones losing in this but that's how it goes, kids have had worse and turned out just fine, and we don't get to choose our parents.
Originally Posted By MsLindanne Boy, oh boy....sometimes going on vacation with the "family" isn't always a vacation. Know what I mean? It can get out of hand real quick unless someone speaks up fast. Bringing an ex whether it is a wife or husband is asking for trouble. How about you and your wife just sneaking off and going by yourselves? Just do it and have a good time. I am sure there will be plenty of other opportunities to take your Grandchildren. Good luck on this one!! ºoº
Originally Posted By forcemejure As the daughter of (long) divorced parents, who was put in this EXACT situation (except exchange Disneyland for Vegas ), let me throw in my two cents. When I told my mom about a family reunion with my dad and his family coming this summer, she immediately piped up that she was coming AND wanted to stay with us. Not because of my dad, of course, but because she wanted to see my aunt and uncle. ;( Its tough being caught in the middle, especially if you have a good relationship with the parent who's trying to insinuate themselves. I couldn't refuse outright without causing a major blow-up (I didn't agree either!), but I am slowly easing her into the realization that I will NEVER ask my dad if it is okay for her to come. Even if he said yes, his wife would have a COW! I won't try to stop her from paying her own way, but I will make it clear that I think she should choose a different time to visit. My mom is not unreasonable, just emotional, so this will work. Your son may be in a more difficult position. Your ex could be applying a LOT of guilt and pressure to make this happen. Before you react with anger, try sitting down with your son and calmly explaining the situation with him. If he echos his mom's position that you and your wife "get over it", tell him you're comfortable with your decision to keep vacations separate and STICK TO YOUR GUNS. The surest way to ruin the vacay for everyone is to go when your still miserable. I would also make a point of calmly telling him how much this hurt your wife when she wanted to spend time with your son and his family... not your ex-wife. If this does work out and you still have your trip, an apology to your wife would go a long way. I don't think you should be dealing with your ex at all. Your son is either going to stand up to her or not. BTW, I'm in my 30's also. Just being an adult doesn't sever the ties we have with our parents.
Originally Posted By hayden My ex wife has no money my son is buying her airline tickets and they would share disney tickets?? Anyway I told him we are not paying for any of the vacation if his mother goes whether she pays or not , this is not a family reunion we all live in the same city. WE wanted to start a tradition of going to disney once a year my wife puts money aside every month for this .. and we are using extra money to start off at the grand californian . If we let my ex go this year it will be a continueing thing. Anyway my wife left today to go visit her sister for the weekend and she did not want me to go.. So I'm hoping shes okay and we will be okay .. Anyway thanks for the support and I feel stupid now bringing it up .. Disneyland is for Fun and I won't have it any other way.. I will fix this problem I just wanted the adult children to understand inviting ex's unless agreed upon is NOT OKAY !!!Especially if you are a guest and not paying...
