New Drop Tower For Magic Kingdom!

Originally Posted By David S

I just found this Press Release on another site:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Lake Buena Vista, FL

Walt Disney World made the surprise announcement today that construction would soon commence on a new drop-tower thrill ride, to be located in the Fantasyland section.

"We felt like we could do more to enhance our New Fantasyland. As Walt Disney said, 'Disneyland will never be completed as long as there is imagination left in the world'", said Tom Staggs, Chairman of Walt Disney Parks and Resorts. "In that same spirit, we are proud to announce 'Maleficent's Plunge'", gushed Staggs.

The new ride will be built as a joint collaboration between Swiss ride manufacturer Intamin and Walt Disney Imagineering. Standing 400 feet tall, it will be both the tallest landmark and tallest attraction in all of Walt Disney World.

"We looked at Falcon's Fury, the drop tower Busch Gardens is adding this year, and thought, 'How can we make it better?' Their tower will be 300 feet, so we contacted Intamin and asked, 'can you go up to 400?' Their answer was yes, and we are pleased as punch with how the design is coming along!", he beamed.

To make room for the new attraction, deconstruction of Cinderella's Castle will commence immediately. "It's tradition here at Walt Disney World that as we introduce new attractions to our 28,000 acre resort, older ones are retired to make room for them", explained Walt Disney World Senior Vice President of Operations and Next Generation Experiences, Jim MacPhee. "The footprint of the Castle is basically the same amount of square feet we needed for the new tower, so it was a no-brainer. Walt Disney World is not a museum. We must move forward, change, and progress. Walt Disney was all about progress. We've had a great run with the Castle, but our highly sophisticated market research has indicated to us that some of our guests, especially among the important 13-19 year-old male demographic, found the Castle boring."

"We don't think that will be the case with Maleficent's Plunge. It will be both thrilling and 'interactive', which is what that demographic wants. Utilizing our patented, 2 billion dollar Magic Band (TM) wristband technology, guests can scan their wristband while boarding the ride. While at the top, just before the big drop, the voice of Maleficent herself will taunt them each by name. It will be a very 'personalized' experience. And since no two sets of guests will have the exact same sets of names, no two ride experiences will be the same!", he enthused.

But when will it be ready?

"Well, Walt Disney built Disneyland in a year in 1955, but, based on the 4 years it just took us to cobble together New Fantasyland, we are hoping for a 2020 opening date. If we are running a little behind schedule, we are confident it will be ready by our 50th anniversary in 2021. We are absolutely positive it will be open to the public no later than April 1, 2021!"

 

Originally Posted By FerretAfros

Nice! That would explain why they have all of those cranes surrounding the castle right now: They're starting to dismantle it. I knew it!

I wonder if this means they'll finally retire Dream Along with Mickey, perhaps for a Scream Along replacement?

 

Originally Posted By Goofyernmost

Wonderful April Fools joke. The giveaway is the 400' tower. Happy April Fools everyone.

 

Originally Posted By FerretAfros

The giveaway is the 400' tower? Not that they're trying to market to 13-19 year old boys? Not the announcement of an actual opening date? Not that they're tearing down the castle?

 

Originally Posted By David S

Re: Post 4

I actually thought the topic title itself would be the givaway! So I made parts of the post as absurd as possible and just had fun with it as a parody. I am glad you seemed to enjoy it and took it in the right spirit!

 

Originally Posted By Disneymom443

I love reading all the different stories people come up with on April Fool's Day.
The Dis boards has a fun one too.

 

Originally Posted By RoadTrip

The title WAS a giveaway. A drop tower at the Studios might be believable. At the MK... not so much.

 

Originally Posted By leobloom

The giveaway was the idea that they'd be opening a new attraction in MK.

After Fantasyland, you won't get another one of those for, oh, ten years or so.

 

Originally Posted By Goofyernmost

^^^^ A lot of truth to that!

 

Originally Posted By TMICHAEL

L. A. M. E.
April fools jokes should have an aire of believability. This was just really bad.

 

Originally Posted By David S

Re: Post 10 - It was never my intention to fool anyone or stress anyone that this was really happening. In fact, I deliberately made parts of it as absurd and parodic as possible.

Frankly, April Fools Day simply gave me the framework I needed to get some good digs in at TDO. Choosing the Castle as a target to be replaced by a drop tower in this context was a better choice than something that would not be so universally outrageous were it to actually happen.

For best results, don't read it as a failed April Fools hoax - read it as a lampooning of TDO. (Of course, for those who are pro-TDO, agree with all their removal decisions, have never lost anything at WDW they care passionately about, and think "Magic Bands" and their ridiculous limits of 3 FPs a day (when we used to be able to get 10 or more per day) are the bee's knees, than this approach might not work either!

 

Originally Posted By mrkthompsn

I thought about starting one where Disney buys Minecraft and plans a new land in Animal Kingdom

 

Originally Posted By Mickeymouseclub

Minecraft appeals more than avatar.

I loved this parody/4/01/14 joke lampoon. The attitude is the same authority Disney has been expressing forever now: As long as there is something left to tear down we will always have a job with a nice bonus...

 

Originally Posted By Captain Neo

This is got to be the lamest attempt at an april fools joke I've ever seen

 

Originally Posted By David S

Re: Post 14 - Apparently you didn't read Post 11...

 

Originally Posted By familyguy

I liked it, David. Shared it with my family and we all laughed.

 

Originally Posted By LuvsDsnyTrips

I did too...