Originally Posted By Kimrue Ok, my husband is VERY VERY busy at work this time of year...I mean super busy. He really doesn't have time for guessing or being "creative" by using his imagination for christmas shopping. Lately we've taken it easy around the holidays with only buying one gift and saving money for our winter vacation instead. This year, we are actually going to do *real* serious gift exchanging and I emailed him a list complete with links to the items or websites. This whole process got me thinking...are *lists* rude? I mean, it's like asking for stuff...BUT isn't it better than buying stuff I won't use, won't like or won't fit it? I mean, I know it's the thought that counts but let's face it, I know quite a few men that HATE shopping with a passion (including my dh) throw in crowded malls, nasty crabby salespeople and having no idea what to get!!!! I'm going to say I think they are helpful, even though the "guilts" set in as soon as I hit "send" BUT...I do think in the long run he'll be relieved...one less thing he has to worry about right? What do you guys think of lists? Do you make them, do you ask family members for them? What do you think of the whole christmas list "thing"....
Originally Posted By tiggerdis_ I like lists, they make things so much easier. It would be different if you gave your boss a wish list - that would be rude - but to give a list to someone who is legally obligated by marriage (that's a joke) to buy you a present, that's okay.
Originally Posted By smedley I like lists too, sometimes I may vary from them, but at least they give me somewhere to start from!
Originally Posted By TomSawyer Christmas lists aren't any more rude than a Wedding Registry. I have a wish list on Amazon that I use to keep track of stuff that I want to buy, so I usually point people to that if they want specific ideas.
Originally Posted By Jim in Merced CA My sister and her family are always trying to get us to exchange gift lists. 'Do you need ideas for my girls?' she asks. 'No thanks.' I always refuse the lists, because I think it's fun to pick things out for my neices. Or my sister. Or my brother-in-law. And for me, I don't really care that much if it was something 'they wanted.' Who can remember what they received for Christmas last year anyway? For me, the holidays have become so much of a 'have to' type of thing -- the tree, the lights, the TV shows, the gathering with family, that with lists, the whole holiday season takes on an even more compulsory feeling than it already has. 1. Receive a gift list from person 2. Buy gift for person from list 3. Watch person act excited after receiving gift that they gave you the idea for in the first place. 4. Repeat as needed Bah Humbug!
Originally Posted By Jim in Merced CA For Kimrue, why don't you guys just go shopping together and buy some things for Christmas. My wife and I are together all the time, so to try and go out and surprise each other would be next to impossible. So, we just go together.
Originally Posted By Kimrue That's a good idea, but like I said, my husband has long hours this time of year, I would love to go shopping with him but he hates it so much that he actually gets in a bad mood while we are at the mall. Plus we have two small children so that makes a family shopping trip a little more hectic... good idea though! Your wife is lucky that you actually enjoy shopping and picking out gifts! My husband is such a bad shopper that he literally walks directly behind me, sometimes bumping into me if I stop short "accidentally" and huffs and puffs and says, ok, is that it? we done? HOW MUCH IS THAT?! YIKES!!!!!!
Originally Posted By Ursula I think I am easy to buy and I love being surprised. From time to time, I will point out something that I HAVE to have, but I don't expect it. The husband, on the other hand, is very hard to shop for at Christmastime. He loves CD's but I can't keep track of the 100's he owns and which he wants. Same with music DVD's and books by his favorite writers. Therefore, he has an Amazon list that I refer to for assistance. The list is usually three pages long, so that he doesn't know what I'll get. I also throw in some Tommy Bahama purchases for the surprise elements. For others, I usually have a good idea what to get them.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Boy, I'm really of two minds about lists. Sometimes it is exactly as Jim pointed out: 1. Receive a gift list from person 2. Buy gift for person from list 3. Watch person act excited after receiving gift that they gave you the idea for in the first place. 4. Repeat as needed To the point that my mom this year finally said ENOUGH! She didn't want any more lists because it felt like we were sort of exchanging checks in a way. Add to it a couple of relatives who are obsessive about making sure that everyone call in so that items can be checked off the list (to prevent any duplicate gifts -- good heavens!) and it becomes a nightmare. On the other hand, I do like getting a general idea of what people would like -- categories like shirts or pants or collectibles. Not when the list has a catalog page number and item #. General ideas are helpful, not rude.
Originally Posted By pennyring Haha... we are so far past lists. Basically, we just go shopping together 90% of the time. If there's something I want, I just hand it to him and he carries it to the register, where I pay with our Disney visa. He then takes it and wraps it up for Chrimbo. We do this for several months, so I usually forget what most of the stuff is, or he disguises it well enough that the wrapping isn't too recognizable. When I shop online, usually I just tell him what I ordered and that its for Christmas. When it comes, I normally open it up to make sure nothing is damaged, but then hand it over to him. He really does like to surprise me, and I always surprise him with a few things, but for the most part we know what we're getting.
Originally Posted By cstephens I can see how the lists can be a good idea, but I think it's a matter of how one goes about telling people about the list. If someone asks for ideas, I think pointing them to a wish list is perfectly acceptable. However, if you just email your entire address book with a link to your wish list, I think that would be incredibly rude. I love when I can get someone what they really want without them knowing I'm getting it, but that's really hard. I try to remember things they've said throughout the year for ideas on what to get. But sometimes, that doesn't work either. My husband and I don't exchange Christmas gifts. It's entirely too difficult, so we decided a few years ago that we'd just decide on some kind of present we'd get as a shared gift. I don't specifically get my parents Christmas gifts anymore either because they really don't need anything, and it would really just be clutter. Instead, I've been offering to chip in for any trips that they take during the year. For one niece and nephew, I ask them what stores/things they're interested in, and I'll get them gift cards to use as they like. They're old enough that they appreciate having the spending money. For my other two nephews, I usually call their mom to ask what they're interested in since I don't spend that much time with them, and they're still young enough that I think they would enjoy the surprise more. Friends are fairly difficult, but I have a few goodies this year. But then again, I'm so behind on Christmas that I haven't even really thought about presents yet other than what I've been picking up here and there. At this point, I don't even know when the Christmas cards are going out... /cs
Originally Posted By debtee In recent years my husband I and have not been exchanging big gifts to each other for Christmas as we have usually been on or about to go on a big trip to Dl for example as with this year so I feel that's plenty of a pressie! However we do have a traditon for last 15 years which we still hold to, of giving each other a stocking filled with novelity gifts, sweets and one little pressie. This is a secret stocking that you make up and I love the idea that Barry has chosen what's in it for me so I always Love the goodies he selects! My sister on the other hand has started to really annoy me with her lists for her family! I have followed these lists and really feel it takes the enjoyment out of gift selection. I agree with Jim, can the kids even remember what you bought them last year anyway! I'm thinking of a mutiny this year and NOT following her list.....after all immediately after xmas day we are on a plane to DL so I won't have to deal with the fall-out! HAHA!
Originally Posted By DDMAN26 I wrote an page e-mail to my parents and sister. The e-mail gave links to what I asked for. It took me nearly an hour to create it.
Originally Posted By Jim in Merced CA My brother suggested a few years ago that we mail checks to each other, buy gifts locally, and that would save shipping costs. 'I spent nearly a hundred dollars on shipping' he whined. Hear the birds? *cheap* *cheap* *cheap*
Originally Posted By melekalikimaka Everyone tells me that I'm easy to buy for. I sometimes wonder if that means I am so greedy that they know I'll "love" anything. ;-) We have a tradition in our family where the kids write their letters to Santa and put them in this decorated canister. Then Santa's elves drop by and collect the list (and leave a little bit of candy). Last night I looked in the canister and my son had put the Circuit City ad from the Sunday paper. LOL
Originally Posted By TomSawyer I like the idea that people are shopping for me and thinking about what I might like to receive, but I spent so many years making long distance movies on very little money that most of the presents I've received have been donated or tossed. The things on my Amazon wish list are things I need or want enough to remind myself about them on a list. I don't want people to waste their money buying me something I'm not going to use. I've really come to like the idea of buying "experiences" rather than things. Gift certificates for dinners out, movie tickets, tickets to a show or a concert, something like a dinner cruise or the local dinner train, or even a B&B room for a night. They always get used and people have fun doing them.
Originally Posted By hopemax I like lists. It doesn't mean I am going to buy something off of the list for that person, but it gives me ideas about what direction would be a good idea. Take my SIL, she has always been hard to shop for because she is more of a girly girl, and her brother, my DH, is a geeky guy and I am like him, and when we lived sort of near each other she was in highschool, not much for hanging out with her geeky bro and wife. Now we have more in common, but we live in separate states so I barely see her. It's really hard to know what she wants. And now she is engaged, how do you shop for someone you've never even met without a list. So she sent us some ideas, and now I now my future-BIL likes woodworking, and my SIL is interested in party planning. We bought them one thing from their actual lists, but based on those lists I think the gifts we did purchase will be appreciated and liked.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan >>They always get used and people have fun doing them. << Yeah, but you have to share them with others. That sucks.
