Originally Posted By goodgirl New category this week: Morals Question: People should not marry before this age:____
Originally Posted By Disneymom443 That is a hard one, I really feel that it is the person.You can have young people like me who got married at 18 that are still married. One the other hand you have people who get married that young and do not work out. Some people wait when they are in their late 20's or even 30's and their marrage doesn't work. So what I'm saying is it all depends on the people. If you happen to find your Mr./Mrs. right then get married. I did, 17 years later still together. Sorry more than what you wanted.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut <<Question: People should not marry before this age:____>> 16. At least they should finish high school. Other than that, it really does depend on the relationship as DM443 said.
Originally Posted By wahooskipper 30. But, that isn't a morale issue to me. I just think you should enjoy life, get stable, know where you are going and then get married. Of course, I am a product of a marraige between an 18 and 17 year old. I married at 26.
Originally Posted By DlandJB I would say "in general" I'm in favor of people waiting until they have finished their formal education before marrying. They should be at least in the early stages of establishing their own livelihood. But people mature at different rates, so it is hard to say anything with finality. What I definitely believe is that all couples that wish to marry should be required to go through some kind of pre-marital counseling, whether it be faith based or not. People do change over the years, so it is no guarantee, but I fear many people marry who don't really know each other to being with and who enter into marriage with wildly different expectations.
Originally Posted By wahooskipper With an over 50% divorce rate...something has to change. I have heard people refer to their first marriage as their "warm up". That is almost funny. Almost.
Originally Posted By Deogges Mom 25. This is not a set number of course as people mature at different rates. This is usually the age at which a person has completed their formal education and started settling down. I agree with JB that marriage counseling should be required for all couples getting married.
Originally Posted By mele Around 30 for the same reasons as wahooskipper listed. Most people change a lot in their 20's, become more like the adults they will be for most of their lives.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut I am beginning to think that Jayna thinks its 30 also. We have been together for going on 9 years and have no date set or forsee a date being set anytime in the near or nearly distant future.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 I'd say in the 21 to 25 year old range. Definitely agree on taking the pre-marriage classes - courses - conference - reality check - double dog dare - pinkie shake thingy!! Way too many divorces in our society today. Way too much infidelity.
Originally Posted By SuzieQ Wow on these older ages! I was 22 and don't feel like it was too young. Yes, you grow and change a lot in your 20's but you're supposed to grow together! Not only that, you can't predict when you are going to meet the person who is right for you. I'm with Disneymom443. Marriage is right when it's right.
Originally Posted By mele <<Yes, you grow and change a lot in your 20's but you're supposed to grow together!>> If you're lucky.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 I here what you are saying SuzieQ but data is saying something has changed in our morales, values or ethics over the past several generations as people are not staying married anymore. Is it right or wrong? That a whole other question. Whether you find the right person or not at 16, 18, or 20, I'd hate to see anyone marry that early vs. exploring the world. It's just what I believe. I think it makes for a rockier time down the road. My parents generation in my family all had long marriages. Some seemed pretty normal and healthy, others it seems they were together out of convienance or no where else to go situtions, they certainly weren't healthy. I think all of them marrying so young contributed to that. I've seem far to many bad marriages vs. good so I realize I'm probably not all that objective.
Originally Posted By mousegrl Ok. Sensitive subject for me, but here goes. I got married at 18 and most of us here know how that turned out. We stayed married for 14 years, and still truely love each other. I would have stayed married forever, but that may have had more to do with my morals and values, than with it being the right thing for me. (Being I was with someone who clearly didn't want to stay with me.) My son's father definitely needed some maturing years. I have always been pretty mature for my age, and never felt as if I was missing something. I'm not a drinker, partier, ect., and I'm pretty grounded. I love family life. My soon to be ex loves a more adventurous life; not being tied down. At 18, I think he was to young to understand that.We were to young to understand how our differences would play a part later on.( I'm not making excuses for someone who left his family. I think he made a huge mistake! lol You should for sure get counseling and try all ways to save a marraige before quiting. Poo on him. lol) We had tons of love, but hey, marraige is hard regardless. Love is sometimes not enough without knowing who you are first. I really think it boils down to the individual. Like I said, I could have married at 18 and stayed married forever without looking back. Values, maturity, and knowing yourself all come into play. Most people do not know themselves well enough at age 18. I'd say at least get the college years over. Give yourself a little freedom to BE. Sorry for the rant. I'm still a little bitter. LOL
Originally Posted By Ursula I think 23. Old enough to get to know who the real "you" can become, young enough to have a few years of marriage before children. I think I messed up by not having kids when I was in my 20's. Of course this is assuming you have met your soul mate. No one gets married thinking they are going to be part of the 50% that spilts.
Originally Posted By alexbook Hard limits not a good idea: Some people are ready at 16, some at 60. Passing some sort of maturity test makes sense but is probably unenforceable. Then there's P. J. O'Rourke's advice: "Everybody should just start with their second marriage. I know I should have."
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 Here are my thoughts. I was 18 (almost 19) and one of my friends was married at 16. We've been married 32 and 35 years. Then again, we almost grew up with our husbands. Attended the same schools, knew their families and their many quirks, were clear on goals and married our love and well as our best friend in life. Things were different. Yes, we went to college but it didn't cost anything like it does now. Insurance was a convenience. We actually paid for our first daughters birth in easy monthly installments Rent was do able even while working part time and going to school. Life was just different. Now with my kids I'd like to say at least 24-25. Finish school or have a trade. Have a job that includes insurance and can support you. When money issues can be set aside there is less stress. I look at my 19 year old today and there is no way she is ready for a commitment, holding a job and keeping a house. My 25 year old is getting married next month and is definately ready. I guess for me it's a maturity level more than an age level. Life skills and reality mixed with love
Originally Posted By ReadingMom I think it just depends on the people. 2oony and I started dating at 18, engaged at 19, married and 23. In November we will celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary. We've had a lot of fun together.....before and after marriage. I didn't miss out on anything. We were married five years before we had 2oonlet1 so we had time to play before settling down with a family. Other members of my family should have waited until they were about 30 before getting married. Others should not be married at all. When two people do decided to marry....pre-marriage counseling is definitely a great idea.
