Originally Posted By chickendumpling I've only been here a little over a year. I feel like a newbie in a lot of ways. There are a lot of jokes I don't get. There are a lot I do. There are a lot I make. There are a lot I wish I never made. I have made good friends here and I have had my heart broken here. Through it all though I have seen the "spirit" of LP. A loving, caring, friendly, fun and funny spirit that no one here wants to lose. We have been in danger of losing it before. It was just this last March that I was ready to walk out the LP door forever when Captain Jack Sparrow created a thread where he talked about why he thought LP was great and he really touched me with that. I don't know if I ever thanked him for that but if he's silently reading now, thank you Captain Jack. I know lots of people, including me, are frustrated on LP for a lot of reasons. Some the same, some different. But I just want to say this: I have seen more love, more caring, more concern for others expressed here on LP than I have seen in lots of places I see in "real" life. Because of that, LP has come to mean a lot to me despite the pain it has personally caused me. Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good because people are, well, human. I know sometimes the bad is too bad and that should NOT be allowed. I agree whole-heartedly with PixieGlitter and others on that point. I wish people would not say mean or insensitive things. I cannot stop them from doing that. Neither can Admin. I myself have said mean and insensitive things to LPers on and off the boards when I was overly tired and not thinking clearly or just being too silly and not thinking first and I regret that deeply. The damage is done there and I don't think it will ever be repaired. But please don't let the reckless or intentionally comments of 2 or 3 or 5 posters sour LP for you. Call them on it, report it, move on. I can't imagine Admin, Doobie, Rebekah, all powers that be haven't gotten the "message" over this last day or so. Now I think it's time to cool off and let things take their course. "Moving on" is nearly impossible for me most of the time. A problem *must* be solved before I can leave it. But that really isn't always practicable in an on-line community. Sometimes maybe you end up throwing the baby out with the bath water. I know that 99.9% of LPers care about other LPers and I hope that all this rage on the boards over the last few days does two things: 1) somehow manages to make LP closer instead of destroying it and 2) encourages everyone to follow the community standards and report when they see it happen. I know that the prevailing view is to not "feed" the trolls and I agree they should not be "taken on" in debate. Never wrestle with a pig and all that. But, having worked with "bullies" for the last 10 years I will respectfully disagree with the view that trolls should be ignored. In my humble experience, when a bully is immediately confronted with their actions, they stop. Confrontation by the bystander often being more effective than confrontation by the victim. As a general rule, bullies only bully when they think they can victimize someone and get away with it unseen or at least unreported. As for me I will call it when I see it and report it. Realizing that Admin may not be "on" 24/7 (like me ;P), I will do my best to be patient when I think an offensive post remains. Realizing that Admin may not agree that something I find offensive actually violates the community standards, I will be patient (though perhaps not silent) when I disagree. I now know that I often tease too hard and have "bullied" some without even realizing it, so I will also do my best to not be an offender. Sometimes its very hard for me to "correctly" read the boards because I "read" things differently than others. I have come to learn that MUCH more is "lost in translation" here than I ever imagined. i have also learned that I rely much more on non-verbal cues than I ever realized and I can't rely on those here and so sometimes I misinterpret what someone is saying or I post something that is misinterpreted. That is why I will call it when I see offensive posts because I honestly think sometimes people just misunderstand. I have lots more to say but this is probably like 6 pages already I think so I'll stop here. I hope this makes sense. Be kind, be strong and of good heart. Thanks for letting me vent.
Originally Posted By alexbook Chickie D: Thank you, especially for the reminder that non-verbal cues are missing on-line. I know that I've occasionally ticked people off with something I meant to be funny. I've also taken things the wrong way at times. There's a lot of teasing here, and one person's good-natured teasing can be another person's deadly insult. It makes me wonder if a lot of the worst "offenses" aren't just jokes that misfired. I'd like to think so. Thanks, --Alex
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Excellent points, Chicken. Thank you for taking the time to share them.
Originally Posted By LacyBelle Nice rant ChickieD and excellent points by both you and Alex. It's something we need to be aware of in all of our written communication. Electronic communication has pretty much taken over and it's often possible to misinterpret the tone of something we are reading. Many people use emoticons when they are kidding. Sometimes we forget to. But, we all need to be aware and careful in our communications and, like you said, speak up if you see something offensive and talk it out if need be. I agree. We all need to move on and get back into the Play Pen.
Originally Posted By chickendumpling Thanks guys. I do want to make clear that I am talking about two different things here though. While "innocent" misunderstandings or "misfired jokes" (love that Alex, lol) certainly happen and account for probably lots of hurts, there are, unfortunately, a few posters who are very direct, very personal and so far beyond mean that they are hateful. Those are the types of posters I believe Pixie Glitter and others are talking about. We all need to stop them in their tracks, imho. Thanks again for listening.
Originally Posted By Kimrue I feel that people find it easier to "say" things when they aren't face to face. These people that TYPE nastiness would NEVER have the nerve to say it to your face, NEVER. It used to bother me when I would butt heads here, but no more. It's not worth it. I'm not sure what happened but it sounds pretty bad, I only drop in on lp every so often these days, and from the sound of it, I'm glad that's the case!
Originally Posted By LacyBelle Re post #6. I understand what you are saying, ChickieD. There are posters that will push buttons and cause hurt on purpose. Those members of our community should be dealt with and I have confidence in the moderators that they will be.
Originally Posted By friendofdd Very good rant, butyou did mislead us. It was not random, but well said and on topic.
Originally Posted By alexbook Re: #9 "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." I've seen some of the very worst offenders suddenly say, in effect, "Hey, we're just joking around here. I didn't think anybody would take it personally." You may suspect that they're insincere when they say that, but you can't know it. They may just be really insensitive and not realize what they're doing.
Originally Posted By LacyBelle ^^Agreed. Which takes us back to the inevitable misinterpretations of the written word. It is impossible to understand everyone's sense of humor or intention in an environment such as this. It's almost a no-win situation.
Originally Posted By MomofPrincess Just sending you a great big (((HUG))), ChickieD, 'cause I really like your heart.
Originally Posted By bloona Im slow getting around to reading all this, but Chicky D, I just wanted to say what a great post. You summed everything up perfectly I feel!! Alexbook, I agree with that 100%, <<I've seen some of the very worst offenders suddenly say, in effect, "Hey, we're just joking around here. I didn't think anybody would take it personally.">> and not just on here either, infact I have banned that phrase in our house only this passed week!...lol...
Originally Posted By LVBelle Very nice rant, ChickieD! I've been holding my tongue a lot this week and trying to stay out of things. But I will say that I was very worried that we were going to lose some wonderful people. On the other hand, it was wonderful to see so many people support each other and show how strong LP friendships can really be. My point? I'm not sure I actually have one but I did want to say you made an excellent post, my dear!
Originally Posted By DVC_dad <<<Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good because people are, well, human. >>> Nice to hear you say this Chickie. <<<Sometimes maybe you end up throwing the baby out with the bath water.>>> Very nice to hear you say this Chickie. <<<I "read" things differently than others.>>> Very nice to hear this too Chickie. Chickie, I love you so much. You are so witty and intelligent and quick. I am glad that you are part of the LP community. It wouldn't be the same without you at all. Please don't ever leave.
Originally Posted By t1lersm0m ^^I agree with DVC dad's sentiments. Your whole post was so warm with emotion, it's like a breath of fresh air after all of the heated arguments around here lately. It's nice to know that civility still does exist.
Originally Posted By ReadingMom cd...very nice post. LP is a wonderful community of caring people. There are actually people on this site who I feel closer to than some of my long-term friends.
Originally Posted By beamerdog Chickie, nice post. I've been on lp for quite some time now, and the nature of the community changes from time to time. When things get "hot" I try and refrain from posting, but continue to read. A few years back (it seems) there were quite a few torching posts in and about WDW general which made interesting reads but were disturbing to many people. (Remember the stoller/wheelchair wars, the changing your baby in a restaurant war, the Walmart war, etc.?) I continue to read because then I can choose which threads I find useful and interesting and those I just ignore. I rarely give advice anymore for fear of offending someone. I agree with the fact that people will type things online that they wouldn't dare say in person. That's the nature of an online community. Of course you don't know me, but I have a very weird sense of humor that I don't dare share here because I know for sure that I'd be misunderstood. I've met a few lper's in person and I hope they know that I've got a kind heart even with a sometimes sarcastic nature. Anyway, you seem like a very nice person and I hate that you're feeling bad about some of the nonsense that goes on here. And, for your own sanity, stay out of WE ;-)
