Originally Posted By jonvn I really don't know how to cook or really, make things that taste good. I stick to pretty simple stuff that I generally can microwave. But I find microwaved food somehow less filling and less hearty. No matter how hot the food is out of the microwave, it just doesn't ever seem to fill me with warmth. But it's better than nothing, I suppose. Anyway, I've taken to making a very simple thing for breakfast lately: A couple of scoops of cottage cheese covered with some fruit salad out of little plastic tubs. This is very adventurous and complex for me, as aside from having to actually open up the cottage cheese and put it in a bowl, I also have to go the extra step and open a small plastic tub of Dole fruit salad in syrup to dump on top of it. Combined with having to use a fork to eat it with, this is a nightmare of effort and complexity. In an attempt to make my breakfasts a bit easier to create, I thought of changing my recipe slightly. Instead of fruit SALAD, and the horrendous pain it is pulling the little tab to open the tub, I would use Fruit LOOPS, and just grab a handful of the always open box that forever sits on the counter. I thought this was an excellent idea, as all I had to do was stick my hand in the box. I wouldn't even have to open the box, as I never bother to seal the thing up once I first open it. Given all the chemicals in the stuff, I figure it can't ever actually go stale, which it doesn't seem to. Plus, cottage cheese is made out of milk, so it'd just be like having a bowl of tasty Fruit Loops cereal, but with slightly thicker milk with more protein. So I put the cottage cheese in my bowl, and stick my hand in the Fruit Loops box, and pulling out a large handful of cereal, I jam it on top of the cottage cheese and sort of tamp it down with my hand to make it nice and flat. Figuring I'm a genius for this new tasty breakfast food, I go sit down to enjoy something I'm sure will eventually sweep the nation in the latest food craze, just like Pop Rocks or Diet Coke. I was slightly off the mark. Real fruit salad is not too sweet. It is made out of real fruit. This is different than the cereal, which is very heavily sweetened to an artificial degree. While the fruit itself complimented the cottage cheese, the cereal's overly intense sweetness made the cottage cheese itself taste extremely sour in comparison. It wasn't really sour, nor was it spoiled, it only tasted that way. Not only that, but the cereal itself is baked until hard as a rock, and then doused with a sealant of sugar to keep it that way. The end result was akin to eating hard crunchy items intermixed with sludge like sour milk. This had me gagging. All I could think of was I was eating milk so spoiled and rotten, that parts of it had dehydrated into dried hard lumps. The flavor of the cereal itself was so jarringly off from the cottage cheese, it gave the impression that someone had sprayed cheap perfume on it in order to mask the spoiled nature of the food. It was very rough going. I made this though, and was not about to throw it away, given all the trouble it took to think it up and create it which for me was a lot. I ate it as fast as I possibly could, and did my best to ignore the thoughts of having to have my stomach pumped because I knew there was nothing wrong with the food. At least I hoped there was nothing wrong with it. I figured if I could just get it down and keep it there for a few minutes, I'd be good for the rest of the morning. It worked out. No food poisoning, and no stomach pump. But I was bitterly disappointed that my great new food idea, with which I was to make millions, did not work out. I think next time I'm going to try the fruit loops with some melted butter. That might be good. It works with popcorn, right? Anyone else have a food experiment that went traumatically bad for you? Something you thought might be good, but was just a disaster, and yet you ate it anyway? Just curious.
Originally Posted By x Pirate_Princess x My mom was sick, so I decided to make breakfast for my brother and sister. I get the cereal, and the milk. I pour the milk on the cereal, and we start to eat. It was gross. I guess there's no sugar on it. So I climb up on the counter, get the tupperware container of the white stuff and put some on the cereal. We start to eat. Still no good. I wake up my mom. "Mom, the cereal is nasty. The milk is bad, and something's wrong with the sugar." She gets up, comes and checks everything... Buttermilk and flour do not make for good Corn Flakes. I was 7.
Originally Posted By trekkeruss Try spraying the Fruit Loops down with Lysol before adding it to the cottage cheese to cut down on the sweetness.
Originally Posted By Sport Goofy You know, they make single serving cottage cheese and fruit mixes? You only have to open one thing and it's all there in the same container. I used to buy them and have them for a snack.
Originally Posted By jonvn They don't taste good. The cottage cheese has an odd flavor to them, and the fruit side is generally just jam.
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Originally Posted By Liberty Belle Hahaha! For some reason I thought this thread was going to be about chefs who put naughty stuff in your food if you annoy them. Anyway, I don't really have any Experiment Gone Wrong stories simply because I don't experiment with my foods. My nephew can go on about his two-minute noodles with butter and melted cheese all he wants, but I've got pretty bland taste.
Originally Posted By mele My mom used to take the leftover turkey meat from Thanksgiving, grind it up in the food processor (into small chunks) and mix it with mayo...like tunafish. Sometimes she'd even put relish in it. The best part was biting into a little chunk of cartilage. What a horribly evil thing to do to turkey. Why we couldn't slice it is beyond me. Maybe that would have been way too "normal". Or "edible". And then there was her Lentil Loaf. Not enough ketchup in the world to make that palatable. One winter, we all had the flu and she made some sort of vitamin drink for us. By saying it had orange juice and milk it sounds like it might be a tasty smoothy...not so much. It had a weird, watery taste and I think maybe it had wheat germ floating around in it. It made my brother and I throw up. She used to make this frosting that her grandma made while she and her siblings were growing up. They called it "Gasket Goo" (no clue) but it looked like, um, a certain whitish bodily fluid. One year she made gravy for Easter dinner. It didn't have any broth in it. She used flour and water for the slurry and maybe a little bit of milk. Then she dumped a punch of powdered sage in it. Gravy isn't supposed to be grey. She still adds hardboiled eggs to her ramen noodles and makes scrambled egg sandwiches. (Yum, hot mayo!) Is it any wonder that I compulsively collect cookbooks?!
Originally Posted By Mr X Well, here's a weird thing. A thick slice of liverwurst in a sandwich is just about the grossest thing you can eat...but a thin slice tastes delicious, but ONLY if you use mustard and thin sliced pickles (any other combo, leave anything out or whatever, and it's gross). How can this be? Oh, and Jon...next time try count chocula or fruit brute...that'd probably work better.
Originally Posted By x Pirate_Princess x >>Is it any wonder that I compulsively collect cookbooks?!<< Keeping that in mind for Winter Bash '08. Mele, I'm so sorry. Some of those made me a little queasy. Although, I do like fried egg sandwiches with mayo (hello, Jack in the Box). Mmmm...I think I'll make one for breakfast tomorrow, with some Maple bacon.
Originally Posted By x Pirate_Princess x while I love them, there are several reasons: 1. they're expensive and not filling 2. they're very unhealthy 3. the McD's on my way to work takes FOREVER, and they never get my order right 4. becuase I wouldn't just stop at a McGriddle, I'd get the meal with the hashbrowns (oh, how I love thee) and also the 32 oz. Diet Coke (yes, I see the irony). if I make it myself, while it's not as tasty (none of that yummy syrup-wannabe stuff in the cakes) I know what's in it and I can make 2 or 3 to hold me until lunch
Originally Posted By jonvn I don't care for chocolate flavored cereal. I think that goes back to Cocoa Puffs, which I always thought were just gross. lthough, putting chocolate syrup in the milk with some Captain Crunch might not be so bad.
Originally Posted By FerretAfros When I was little (like 5-7ish), I used to love peanut butter and butter sandwiches. I have no idea how or why I started eating them, but I just thought they were the best thing in the world. I would always have one for lunch, and maybe one for a snack later on. Then, one day, it just dawned on me that it was really really gross (a ton of regular butter, and not that much peanut butter), and I didn't even like the way it tasted. I haven't had one since, but I can still taste it some times...
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Many years ago, my dad was going to make a sandwich for lunch. We were out of bread. Rather than going to the store, he found a couple of waffles from that morning wrapped up in the 'fridge. He used the waffles as bread slices, slathering mayo on them, then put on a slice of bologna and some American cheese. I had to leave the room, or I'd vomit.
Originally Posted By gottaluvdavillains Hey my husband does this... but he uses barley in his waffle mix
Originally Posted By x Pirate_Princess x I think using waffles for a breakfast sandwich would not be a bad idea... waffle, eggs, bacon.. anyone??
Originally Posted By Mr X K2M, that would actually be edible for me if you hadn't mentioned the mayo. Bleech! (and I love mayo!)
