Originally Posted By LuLu I'm on a mission to clear out the closets, garage, etc in my home, as I *have to* downsize in 16 months. My daughter has gotten pretty good about straightening up her room "to the eye," but her closets and drawers are just stuffed with, well, I think it's junk! So, actually, her room only stays neat for about an hour after she cleans up, b/c there's nowhere for anything to be put away easily. She'll be going away to college in 1 1/2 yrs, and whatever she doesn't take (which I imagine will be little) will have to be stored, or tossed. I dread helping her clear this stuff out. I've done it when she was younger, and have found it hard to keep cheerful thru the whole ordeal. Any advice? 1. Do one small section, one weekend a month? 2. Leave it til the last minute and toss everything out that she hasn't found a home for? 3. Refuse to buy her a thing unless she gets rid of an equivalent item? (which isn't going to make a dent in what she's already got...plus she has spending money of her own :-() Help!
Originally Posted By Kira I know when it comes to cleaning out my own room I've been able to do it fairly easily with a certain mindset. My mom always tells me, if you havent used it or worn it in six months and you don't think your going to use it or wear it in another 3 months (with the exception of your main staple clothing for the seasons), get rid of it. I've gone through my room so many times and have been able to downsize quite a bit because of it. I had useless stuff from high school that has just been sitting around gathering dust that I've easily been able to let go of with that certain mindset of, 'What am I seriously going to do with this by keeping it around? Would someone else benefit with it's use more then I would?'. By keeping that mindframe while cleaning the clutter I've been able to get rid of the usual 'junk' and been able to fill big boxes of stuff to drop off at hospice or salvation army, where I know this stuff will be used by someone who needs it. Hopefully the cleaning goes well for you guys!
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan >>1. Do one small section, one weekend a month?<< Problem with that one is that the job is never really complete -- and stuff will start accumulating again. I'd say have one big weekend where you haul everything out of her room, all the furniture and everything, dump out all the drawers and closets and put back in only what she really intends to keep. The rest of it could go in a garage sale, or to charity, or eBay. This gives her a fresh start, and a chance to maybe rearrange the furniture in some new way.
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb I found watching Clean Sweep for a week or two before starting a project like that really helps motivate me and keep me focused on purging. This really helped me survive 2 moves in 11 months.
Originally Posted By DlandJB Let me know when you have an answer. We can't seem to get DD to really clean. Sometimes she will throw away things that really shouldn't be thrown away (jewelry, appliances, CDs, DVDs that are not hers etc...even dirty clothes, just because she doesn't want to hassle with them.) so we have to check her trash to be sure she hasn't thrown away someone elses stuff. I have told her that if she doesn't clean it herself I will. If she wants her privacy, she will clean her own room. I have cleaned it when she didn't follow through - and it isn't something I like doing. I also don't think I'm doing her any favors.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 I'd seriously do the clean sweep but instead of the whole outside thing, I'd get three large garbage cans. 1 - for stuff to keep 1 - for Goodwill/Charity 1 - for stuff to throw away Might want to also show her online or tour a dorm so she can see what her eventual living quarters is going to look like and tell her to start thinking in that mind frame now by minimizing what she has. Make it less painful in a year from now. I would make sure I bought totes or storage bins for things she wants to keep but can be stored vs. stacking up in drawers, closets or under the bed. Like old school work, keepsakes, collector items, favorite childhood toys, etc.
Originally Posted By Ursula I have advice: teach her how to clean. I sure wish I learned when I was a teen. It's something I struggle with all the time. I never know what to throw away and what to keep.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 I know she's a teenager so this isn't quite the same but when we were little when our birthdays or Christmas rolled around we had to go through our toy boxes and select toys to be given to Goodwill before we could request new toys. It was a good way to keep down the large amounts of old toys stacking up and it taught us about charity and giving.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 That's a good point Ursula. Everyone has a different idea of what is valuable, what is a keepsake, and what is trash. You need to clearly define what that means to your family. My mom always taught us to always clean as we go. Meaning when cooking, wash pots, frying pans, etc as you use them. Don't let stuff stack and attack it after dinner. Generally for us, clean up after dinner is 5 to 10 minutes top. With our bedrooms it was always to get the clothes into the hamper as soon as you take off. Washing was on certain nights for each of us. Put a toy away before another one comes out sort of stuff. My dad was very neat and I picked up his tendencies so I tend to be a really organized person. I cannot stand clutter. I hate newspapers all over the table, bills on the counter, too many knick-knacks on my counterspace and stuff like that. We are right in the middle of Spring cleaning in our kitchen. We emptied out all of our cupboards and are redoing our "system."
Originally Posted By Liberty Belle >>If she wants her privacy, she will clean her own room. I have cleaned it when she didn't follow through - and it isn't something I like doing. I also don't think I'm doing her any favors<< I was never able to clean when I was younger, so mum would do this to me - "if you don't clean it yourself, I will!" I hated her cleaning my room because I knew she would throw stuff out that I thought was valuable, so I would clean it myself (most of the time - there were still definitely a few occasions where she ended up cleaning for me!) I would do it all in one big hit, you're more likely to get motivated doing it that way than doing a small amount at a time. Like Kira, I've become quite good at throwing out things I don't need, simply because I know I don't have the room -- and if I throw out old stuff it makes room for buying new stuff! Good luck with it.
Originally Posted By LuLu Wow, you guys are GOOD! These are really good suggestions. Funny, I'm great at "purging" my own stuff, but have never figured out how to teach/motivate DD to do hers. I'm going to study your suggestions and come up with a plan.
Originally Posted By Jim in Merced CA I say, do it all at once, and if you lose your patience, so be it.
Originally Posted By TALL Disney Guy "so be it", heh...says Triton in Merced CA. ;-) Lulu, also consider the atmosphere and mood when you/she/y'all (lol) clean. Put some music on that is upbeat and "driving" and enthusiastic. Oldies are especially great, so are 80s pop songs...maybe some favorite Disney or other albums? I've tried this too by having some DVDs of favorite TV shows "on" as I clean, but I've found that doesn't work---I end up being distracted watching the episodes (no matter how many times I've seen them), and so the couch has a hold on me and the procrastination becomes worse! Upbeat music is the way to for atmosphere and motivation.
Originally Posted By smeeeko do you live in the Los Angeles area?? why not call one of those organizing shows like Clean Sweep or Clean House?? (clean sweep btw has that hotty australlian organizer.. ok he's not really a hottie but he's got that accent) What you really need is a weekend, a big yard and no distractions.. take it all out and the only stuff that goes back in is the stuff she (and you) are really keeping). Good rule.. and then of course the whole... when you get something new, take 2 things away rule. Or just don't buy anything at all when you really don't need it. I just saw that small spaces eppie on Oprah last week, and although I regularly purge we had to donate a LOT of stuff when we moved downtown and we still don't have room for our stuff. Oprah had folks on there that own 500sq ft co-ops and manage to make do.. you'd think we could learn to do the same?? (maybe not but I'm trying!)
Originally Posted By smeeeko ^those organizing shows btw, tend to get me motivated to clean for some reason.. even if I don't have the money to spend on bins and junk.. a lot of stuff can be organized simply by cleaning out some desk drawers. =) lulu, this is your daughter we met at Club 33 right?? she seems grown up enough to understand what's going on & needed on her end.. especially if you need to do the same thing yourself.. it might be fun to work together (I never had fun cleaning with my mom, but your milage may vary as they say). good luck!
Originally Posted By avromark Ikea advice: Think vertically, especially when you're downsizing. See the walls, wouldn't a new Ikea Organizer look good there? Maybe with height extension units? (Ikea knows me well for storage furniture and not much more other then marketplace.) How about cleaning her room together? That way you can both decide what's good and bad. Always remember to keep a bowl of fruit loops handy to nibble on. It sounds like primarily a clothing problem? In the new home would Closet Organizers help? A new wardrobe? Amoire? Does all her clothes fit her or are some too small/big? (Naturals for the me-no-needy-anymore category).
Originally Posted By LuLu >>Always remember to keep a bowl of fruit loops handy to nibble on. << LOL! I do like TDG's music idea, tho. Maybe that would help us keep our cool I think we *have* to do it together (her room anyway), as I don't think she will get rid of enough stuff on her own. She *has* come up with a bag of old clothes in the past when I bug her - this is way more than clothes (*my* problem is clothes, I have a terrible time getting rid of clothes I love but won't wear anyway!). She has lived in a dorm room at UCLA for 10 days, so this is a great frame of reference to remind her of. Also, I'll be sure we store those things that "can't" be tossed. I already have a "pile" of her old school/artwork in my office closet. I don't know if she'll be able to part with her old sports trophies (dust catchers to me, you know they give those out just for participating now, so it's easy to acccumulate a horde of them!). I think we'll empty one piece of furniture at a time, to a comfortable place to sort thru - say, dump all the desk drawers on the dining room table. I like the idea of only putting back what's to keep. Then on to the dresser drawers, then the closet... This sounds easier on the back then carrying furniture or rooting thru stuff on the floor/ground. Again, these suggestions are terrific, I'm going to keep rereading them for more inspiration. Thanks so much!!!
Originally Posted By LuLu And I will definitely be giving her guidelines as we go thru stuff, so she can do it herself in the future! VERY good point! (Kira and Ursula, I think.
Originally Posted By LuLu Oh, I love that show Small Spaces! (Even tho I may have only seen it once, I never remember to watch TV!) But it's inspiring. At my point in life, I'm really tired of accumulating stuff and want to live simply. It is so so hard to not buy new stuff tho. I finally posted this topic b/c I picked up a few cute headbands for DD at Target's $1 Spot yesterday, then came home and said, what am I doing!?!? LOL
