Originally Posted By Mary Poppins This is a Christmas "put on the spot" moment. Yesterday, while I was volunteering at the Church's Thrift Store, a lady walked in. She is the co-ordinator of the Christmas community dinner for the poor, homeless and depressed. So, in front of the other 2 volunteers and a customer or two, she says (loudly)"So, Karen, are you helping out at the church dinner? (This is a major time commitment). Luckily, I'd thought ahead about helping as I had helped out at the Thanksgiving dinner. I was probably going to sign-up, but instead declared "Of course, I'll be there." (There is also a workshop on contemplative prayer that is earlier in the day and I was planning to attend).
Originally Posted By Mr X Well, I got an email from my Aunt a few weeks ago telling us that "NOONE in the family was sending out gifts this Christmas", that everyone had gotten together and decided that times were tough, and that there was no reason to bother with elaborate Christmas presents. And just yesterday (after having prepared NO gifts from here in Japan (these things take times) based on my aunts' comments, just cards and crafts which we sent off last week), we got a card from her daughter (my cousin) with fifty bucks in it. Ugh... We now have NO way to respond, aside from sending them some internet gift for the same value (which is what we will probably do). Which is fine, we appreciate the sentiment, though it seems rather silly to take gift money and turn it into a less than thoughtful present in return...what else COULD we do? BUT, at the same time, we were ready and happy to prepare nice, thoughtful gifts for all until the Aunt-in-Chief instructed us not to. Definitely felt put on the spot in more ways than one here!
Originally Posted By Mary Poppins Your aunt should have sought your input on this "no gift" policy. You are on the spot, all right. It does seem silly to exchange money when you could have gotten enjoyment from selecting their gifts.
Originally Posted By Mr X Yeah...that'd go more into the "I don't get no respect" category, but I'm generally not consulted on...well...ANYTHING. (case in point, same aunt and others one year "decided" to summer vacation in Hawaii "for us" (since we live in Japan so it would be "easy") without consulting us, and then got upset because we had been planning to go back home to Boston and see ALL the family instead of just some...same aunt offered to PAY for our trip to Hawaii and seemed insulted to learn that wasn't at all the point)
Originally Posted By Mr X Don't get me wrong, I love my family to death and the Aunt I'm ranting about is practically my favorite relative...it's just the quirky stuff that gets irritating sometimes (even though everyone has the best of intentions).
Originally Posted By SuperDry Here's a suggestion: donate the money to charity in the name of the person that gave you the gift (maybe one you know they support), and thank them for the gift and let them know what you did with it. This prevents "unjust enrichment" on your part, and subtly lets them know that you were put in a difficult situation. Just a thought.
