Originally Posted By cstephens Just something I've been thinking about because it's come up a few times on another forum where I lurk. Has anyone encountered a situation where you were hosting/throwing some sort of party (wedding, birthday party, shower, whatever), and someone who you had not planned to invite found out about it and demanded an invitation? What would you do? I've not actually been in this situation, so I don't know how I'd handle it. I think I might be too stunned by the audacity of someone who demanded to be invited. I had one friend who wanted to bring an extra person to our wedding, and I had to tell her that we couldn't accommodate that, and it was uncomfortable for me to do that, but it worked out ok in the long run. In the situation that I recently read about, a casual co-worker of the groom-to-be knew about the upcoming wedding and basically demanded an invitation, saying she was going to crash it anyway if she didn't get a formal invite. They decided to give her a formal invite just to avoid the mess. In the situation of a friend who got married quite some years ago, there was a woman she had been friends with, but they'd had a falling out by the time of my friend's wedding, so she didn't invite the woman. Shortly after the wedding, the woman cornered my friend at their mutual college and demanded to know why she hadn't been invited. I don't actually remember what her response was. I've run across situations where I've not been invited to something I was hoping to be invited to, and I was disappointed, but I wouldn't begin to think of demanding an invite. There were other situations where I wasn't sure if I'd be invited, and if I hadn't been, I would have understood, but the invitation came through. There was a time when I was going around to friends soliciting wedding invitations (whether or not they were even seeing anyone at the time), but it was all done as a joke, and I only did it to really good friends, people I was spending a lot of time with anyway. Anyway, just morbid curiosity. Thanks. /cs
Originally Posted By peeaanuut it would seem that if someone was purpously not invited there is a rift between the inviter and the invitee. I wouldnt worry about them being upset and the inviter I obviously left them off for a reason. If they were a friend than they would have been invited. As someone else pointed out to me, its your party/wedding/funeral dont be pressured into inviting anyone particular. Invite who you want. Also someone who demands to be invited should be told no for the simple fact of them being rude and demanding an invitaion. They threaten a crash, you threaten a beat down or even worse, mass humiliation. (cake, beer, punch spilled on em, make them the center of attention and emberase the heck out of em) Thats my 2 cents.
Originally Posted By TALL Disney Guy <They threaten a crash> I know, I can't believe that...I'd tell 'em there will be security who won't allow any "crash" (of course it's better if you can actually get some sort of security). Jeez, "people"...*ugh*...
Originally Posted By Witches of Morva ORWEN: Oh well, you know, this sort of thing just happens all the time!! Even among us Disney characters. I blame Maleficent for starting such a nasty trend!!
Originally Posted By DlandJB Whoo boy...having just had a wedding, I can handle this one. There were an awful lot of people that we wanted to invite, but couldn't. People that I would have enjoyed having more than this particular person. This was my former college room mate. We had not been in touch for more than 12 years, but I found out she was living in Bakersfield a few months ago so I got in touch with her. It was fun reminiscing, and I told her I was getting married in the course of the conversation. She immediately said she had to be there, and she wanted to bring her husband and her two kids to meet me. I was nonplused and didn't really know how to say no, I would have like her to come, but four places is a hefty amount of space and money. But I let her know I would be glad to have her and sent her an invitation. She sent it back indicated that there would be 5 people coming (including her son from a previous marriage). Then the day before the wedding, everything had been paid for and non-refundable, she called me to say that she had forgotten her husband had to work that day and she thought that maybe her youngest was coming down with something and they couldn't make it. I was so furious I didn't say anything. She dogged me to tell her I forgave her (all I was thinking about was how to re-arrange the table seating assignments that I had spent hours preparing so I wouldn't leave one table half empty. She has not tried to call me again or even get in touch via internet. I honestly think they just decided the drive from Bakersfield and back would be too long. In retrospect, I should have said to her at the beginning that Doug and I had already a lot of family and out of town guests but that we really wouldn't have a chance to talk at the wedding anyway, so why not get together another time when we really could get caught up. Grrrrrr
Originally Posted By Dave >>>people demanding invitations?<<< How else was I to get a invitation to my colleagues wedding but to demand! (giggles)
Originally Posted By DlandJB Dave, you are considered family -- plus, how else was I ever going to get to see you in a tie?
Originally Posted By beamerdog Geez, Louise, DlandJB, if you had called me the day before I would have been happy to hop on a red eye to celebrate with you ;-)
Originally Posted By DlandJB We would have loved to have you, my dear. There are many LP's that we would have loved to include, but we had to make hard choices -- which made her calling the day before to cancel - and the one or two people who didn't RSVP at all, really maddening.
Originally Posted By mele I just talked to my best friend who was in a wedding today. Apparently one of the bride's co-workers kept calling the bride and asking if she could bring her 7 year old daughter "who just loves weddings". This was after trying to force them to use the girl as their flowergirl. I guess the co-worker even called the matron of honor and begged to bring her daughter to the wedding. The thought of doing something like that is mortifying. I almost feel guilty for going to the things I was genuinely invited to.
Originally Posted By cape cod joe That's why I live in a gated community for those EXACT type people.
Originally Posted By Labuda Jamei - apparently cape cod joe is one of those people who are rude & demand invitations but lives in a place where we've locked them all up behind a gate! As for people who don't RSVP - ARGHHHHHHHH! How the HECK can the person planning a get-together know how to prepare unless they now how many folks are coming? SHEESH!
Originally Posted By LVBelle I didn't have anyone demand invites to my wedding but I had a few cases of people who didn't bother with RSVP's. One was one of my friends from elementary school. I called her a few months before the wedding and she said she wasn't sure because she might be going to Europe. Never heard anything else from her and she didn't show. Then there was my cousin who never RSVPed, came, and brought one of his guy friends who I had never met. Never asked me or anything. Then he spent the entire wedding hitting on my poor co-workers.
Originally Posted By mele I throw a few parties a year and almost no one RSVPs, even though I always ask. I am starting to think that people do not know what RSVP means.
Originally Posted By cape cod joe I don't know how old you are Mele but my wife and I just think today is SO much different than 25 years ago. People just don't seem to be very thoughtful. Once they don't do that RSVP minumum courtesy, we just shut them off and that's it. No luggage, grudges, just no more invites. There has to be a modicum degree of decorum or it's not worth it for us.
