Originally Posted By Labuda Ok, so... this evening my friends Rob & Nancy are having their Christmas dinner party, and I've got their family's present wrapped and sitting in my car, waiting for me to get there at 5 pm today. But, here's the deal. Rob's best friend Dean is a new friend of mine, and I'd kind of like to bring him a gift tonight, too. He's a 46-year-old single dad and I'm trying to figure out if I DO get him something, what dollar amount do I spend? Due to a story I heard recently, I know he likes the Chili's brand of restaurants, so I'm figuring a gift card. BUT, do I do $25 so as not to appear too extravagant for someone who's just in the process of becoming a friend, or do I go ahead and do $50 since his son is nearly 13 and likely has a decent-sized appetite based on that? Help me out, LPers! I think I've decided while typing this that I'm definitely going to pick up a gift card for Dean & Matthew, but I need to know... should I go $25 or $50?
Originally Posted By Mickeymouseclub Maybe 25 in case he doesn't have anything for you? Also try to find a cute Xmas stocking and enclose 2 small candycanes to make it appear more casual and fun! Too bad they don't like Disney then you could just give Disney Dollars. That is what I want in my stocking...
Originally Posted By Labuda I don't expect anything at all from him... good idea about getting a little stocking for it and a couple of candy canes, too... I'll contemplate that in addition to the gift card. Oh, and I neither want nor expect anything from Dean. I just think I want to get him something since he's a nice guy and all.
Originally Posted By Mickeymouseclub I know but he will probably feel awkward since he is a nice guy but you would feel awkward having something for everybody but him and his son Since you very nice person. Have fun tonight gifts good food and friends and poker. Maybe try to find a Santa stocking hat for yourself too! And then you can get some cute photos
Originally Posted By Labuda Well, there will be other people there, too. Dean is just the only one I want to sneak a gift to in addition to the hosts. As for the Santa hat, yeah, I saw a shiny one at Walgreen's for $7 that I may pick up, too.
Originally Posted By Mickeymouseclub ?Is mistletoe too risky? The florist shop in Prairie Village always has a cute Mistletoe Box and wraps a red ribbon around it. One of my favorite housewarming gifts for the holidays.
Originally Posted By Labuda Dude, you have NO idea how tempting mistletoe is... Rob & Dean's new co-worker who's cute will be there! LOL
Originally Posted By TXDISNEYNERD Definitely $25. A $50 one would make him feel really guilty if he didn't get you anything.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 Define new friend first? Friend as in you personally have a relationship with him outside or beyond the group friendship? Or you know him casually through other friends and are friendly? My reason, I'm not cheap in any way, in fact, I believe I'm known for my generosity. However, if he is not really a friend, friend in my opinion $25 is too much. It could be quite uncomfortable for him. I think $15 or $20 tops. Being overly generous too soon can be weird. And give the opposite meaning than what you intended. I know I personally can be intimidated or feel really strange when people come on too strong too quickly for me. My caution is that may be how your gesture is received and not what you meant at all. People feel pressure to then reciprocate and maybe he can't which gets all weird anc complicated. I hope this makes sense?
Originally Posted By Labuda Well, Dean and I have been acquainted for about 3 years, but over the last 6 months we've started hanging out just about every day for an hour or two after work. So, I'm getting to know him better, and there's talk of me, him, and Rob maybe going down to the coast sometime to go fishing. Also, part of my plan if I DO end up doing this is telling him this is me making up for his parents having given him what they THOUGHT were unused Chili's gift cards recently and ensuring he knows I expect nothing in return.
Originally Posted By LuLu I totally agree with Lisann and was going to post something similar. $50 would make me feel like you thought I was a charity case. Singling one person out for a gift of any kind seems strange too. If he's really a friend, then you'll see him elsewhere and can give a gift then. I don't know how guys feel, but I feel uncomfortable when I get a gift from someone I didn't plan to buy a gift for.
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight I'm with LuLu and Lisann onthis one. A gift for the Host and/or Hostess of the party is enough. IF you are friends with Dean, you can always give him a casual holiday gift card if you wanted to on your own time with him if you see him each day. I too, also feel uncomfortable when I get a gift from someone I didn't plan to buy a gift for. Especially when I really don't know the person that well. I love to give gifts to my friends but I never ever expect anything in return. It just feels good for me to give is all. Labuda, you'll do fine with whatever you chose to do. We have faith in you, you have a good heart!
Originally Posted By friendofdd I've always felt a bit strange when I received an unexpected gift from someone. Perhaps you could consider a small gift box containing an IOU for something small such as treating to a coffee and scone at his convenience.
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight Or ya know ....mani pedi....foot rub/body massage??? What?! Imjussayin'!
Originally Posted By KatieKate123 yea thats what I was going to suggest is doing like a gift box with a iou and maybe inviting him to chilis with his son one night at his convience then you would just pay for it and if the bill is 20 then its 20 50 its 50 etc.
Originally Posted By Stacers76 I would be really careful with this unless you KNOW like KNOW KNOW KNOW he knows and won't mind that he's not reciprocating, otherwise it could be really awkward. I had the same thing happen to me just last week, a friend that I've known for a long time (13+ yrs of communicating off and on), but we recently started talking more frequently, sent me a Christmas gift already...all told he probably spent upwards of $50-$60...I am honestly mortified. I had no idea he was getting me anything, we hadn't talked about getting each other gifts, we never have before, and I right now just don't have the means to get him anything....luckily he just had the gift shipped to me, thank goodness, face to face would have been really uncomfortable. I just fear that since your friend is a nice guy, him getting a gift of any sort, even as a friendly gesture making up for whatever it was, may make him feel awkward at that moment. Just my 2 cents.
Originally Posted By Labuda "Or ya know ....mani pedi....foot rub/body massage??? What?! Imjussayin'!" If you knew Dean at ALL, you'd realize how insane that is. As far as what others are saying here... ok, you've convinced me to just give him the gift card at happy hour sometime. No chance am I going to offer to take him & his son to dinner with me... we're not THAT close yet! lol We just barely recently got to the point where if Rob leaves before either of us, we'll sit around and chat with each other while we finish our drinks. So, in the hopes that I will not mortify him, I'll skip getting Dean something to give him tonight and will just be glad I came up with the idea of the gift I am giving Rob & Nan & their family. Plus, that brings my budget for tonight to under $110 so YAY to saving money!
Originally Posted By Lisann22 <<<No chance am I going to offer to take him & his son to dinner with me... we're not THAT close yet! lol We just barely recently got to the point where if Rob leaves before either of us, we'll sit around and chat with each other while we finish our drinks.>>> That statement right there in no way warrants a $25 gift card to me. No way, no how! Unless it was charity or you knew of special circumstances. I think giving a gift card like that way off.
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb Unless we have pre-arranged to do so, I don't even exchange gifts with my closest friends. But that's just me. My advice: Try to get a feel for where you two are at in respect to gift giving/exchanging over your next few encounters. And if if feels right to get him something go ahead, but keep it at or under $25.
