Originally Posted By gadzuux <a href="http://dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/4/30/1441/59811" target="_blank">http://dailykos.com/storyonly/ 2006/4/30/1441/59811</a> Above is a link to the transcript of the monologue delivered by stephen colbert of comedy central at the annual 'white house correspondents dinner, with george and laura bush sitting just ten feet away. It's funny, but it's surprising in how sharp the comments are. >> Madame First Lady, Mr. President, my name is Stephen Colbert and tonight it's my privilege to celebrate this president. We're not so different, he and I. We get it. We're not brainiacs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the factinista. We go straight from the gut, right sir? That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. << >> And though I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be you Hindu, Jewish or Muslim. I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior. << >> Now, I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias. << >> So, Mr. President, please, pay no attention to the people that say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. << >> I mean, it's like the movie "Rocky." The president in this case is Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed is -- everything else in the world. It's the tenth round. He's bloodied. His corner man, Mick, who in this case I guess would be the vice president, he's yelling, "Cut me, Dick, cut me!," and every time he falls everyone says, "Stay down! Stay down!" Does he stay down? No. Like Rocky, he gets back up, and in the end he -- actually, he loses in the first movie. OK. Doesn't matter. The point is it is the heart-warming story of a man who was repeatedly punched in the face. So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing? Think about it. << >> The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man's beliefs never will. As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story: the president's side, and the vice president's side. << >> Over the last five years you people were so good -- over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew. << >> Because really, what incentive do these people have to answer your questions, after all? I mean, nothing satisfies you. Everybody asks for personnel changes. So the White House has personnel changes. Then you write, "Oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic." First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg! << >> I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound -- with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world. << >> See who we've got here tonight. General Moseley, Air Force Chief of Staff. General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. They still support Rumsfeld. Right, you guys aren't retired yet, right? Right, they still support Rumsfeld. Look, by the way, I've got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble: don't let them retire! Come on, we've got a stop-loss program; let's use it on these guys. I've seen Zinni and that crowd on Wolf Blitzer. If you're strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows, you can stand on a bank of computers and order men into battle. Come on. << >> Mayor Nagin! Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city! Yeah, give it up. Mayor Nagin, I'd like to welcome you to Washington, D.C., the chocolate city with a marshmallow center. And a graham cracker crust of corruption. It's a Mallomar, I guess is what I'm describing, a seasonal cookie. << >> I think I would have made a fabulous press secretary. I have nothing but contempt for these people. I know how to handle these clowns. << +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The reports are that the president and first lady were not amused and sat in icey silence during the monologue.
Originally Posted By DDMAN26 I watched bits and pieces of this on Saturday, yes I have no life. <<The reports are that the president and first lady were not amused and sat in icey silence during the monologue.>> Actually the crowd overall was pretty silent throughout. I like Colbert but I thought he bombed. Now did anyone see this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_VK-tg1THM&search=White" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =o_VK-tg1THM&search=White</a>%20Correspondence%20Dinner
Originally Posted By Shooba Pretty biting comments. How did Colbert get invited to this event anyway? I guess someone thinks his "conservative" on-air persona is real.
Originally Posted By alexbook Nah, the whole thing is supposed to be a "roast" of the President. Everybody has a few drinks, various speakers get up and insult the President, then he gets up and insults them, and they all pretend they're just joshing.
Originally Posted By Perdie I watched it and I noticed the deafening silence, but the President did seem amused, but the First Lady did NOT. As soon as it was over, she barelt shook his hand and was out of there, without speaking to anyone....
Originally Posted By Beaumandy It was so hilarious nobody laughed and he bombed. But anyone who actually thought Kerry was going to win show they see things as they want to see things. Kinda like they thought this " comic " was funny talking to a silent room.
Originally Posted By BlueDevilSF Leave it to you, Beau, to stretch from making a comment about a comedian to Kerry losing the election. You must be riled about something lately.
Originally Posted By gadzuux Beau can't get enough of bashing kerry, kennedy, clinton, sheehan, moore and anybody else he considers "liberal" -that's ALWAYS funny. He hasn't adjusted yet to the idea that he's been marginalized into the 32% group.
Originally Posted By StillThePassHolder "He hasn't adjusted yet to the idea that he's been marginalized into the 32% group." If that. Rasmussen has Bush's overall support at 40%, but only 19% of that "strongly approve". When 21% only "somewhat approve" of you, you got issues. <a href="http://www.rasmussenreports.com/Bush_Job_Approval.htm" target="_blank">http://www.rasmussenreports.co m/Bush_Job_Approval.htm</a>
Originally Posted By Dabob2 <I watched it and I noticed the deafening silence, but the President did seem amused, but the First Lady did NOT.> My guess? Laura was bright enough to understand the bite underneath the seemingly supportive words.
Originally Posted By DlandDug The dispassionate critics that have looked at Colbert's performance say he was not well received by most of the room-- press corps included. So, if only 32% of the audience thought he was good, does that mean he actually did a bad job? Or did he just not please them, despite the fact that he delivered a great monologue? Hmm?
Originally Posted By DlandDug Oh-- and some critics (of the entertainment variety) are saying that Bush's self deprecating bit with the impersonator went over better than Colbert. But most critics are liberal and not to be trusted.
Originally Posted By PlainoLJoe Neither the president of his wife (she is hardly a first lady) have a a sense of humor. The pole is stuck too far up their butts. However when Sedrick the Entertainer was there those that were roaster were laughing their butts off.
Originally Posted By PlainoLJoe <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-bDO92S1jU&search=Cedric" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =T-bDO92S1jU&search=Cedric</a>%20the%20Entertainer
Originally Posted By ecdc I didn't watch it - just read the dialogue, and thought it was hilarious. Who knows why it didn't go over well - perhaps the tension from the fact that the man he was mocking was 10 feet away? Bush's self-depricating act was great too. I did see it and thought it was hilarious and clever. If only he could be more on the ball with Iraq...
Originally Posted By Beaumandy <<He hasn't adjusted yet to the idea that he's been marginalized into the 32% group.>> Have you seen the poll numbers for democrats? I hope you and Ike are not getting your hopes up that the libs are going to sweep to power based on Bus's poll numbers that I don't trust anyway. My bet for 2 DL annual passes is still available to anyone who thinks the GOP is going to lose either the House or the Senate. Bring it on!!!!!
Originally Posted By Dabob2 <<The dispassionate critics that have looked at Colbert's performance say he was not well received by most of the room-- press corps included. So, if only 32% of the audience thought he was good, does that mean he actually did a bad job? Or did he just not please them, despite the fact that he delivered a great monologue? Hmm?>> <I didn't watch it - just read the dialogue, and thought it was hilarious. Who knows why it didn't go over well - perhaps the tension from the fact that the man he was mocking was 10 feet away?> I think that's probably it. The script WAS really good, and certainly Colbert is skillful at putting exactly that kind of thing over. It wouldn't surprise me if the audience - including the press corps - took their cue from the president and first lady. Like him or loathe him, he is still the president and kind of "king of the room" - and if the king (and queen) ain't laughin', then you ain't laughin'.
