Originally Posted By wonderingalice On a lighter note (but I'll sure take those beaches! ;-) ..... Dear Red States... We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii , Oregon , Washington , Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom...or what's left We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama . We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we 're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, s equoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clems on and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite , thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. Peace out, Blue States
Originally Posted By RoadTrip You don't get the whole damned state. We'll give you all the Blue counties. <a href="http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/election/countymapredbluelarge.png" target="_blank">http://www-personal.umich.edu/...arge.png</a> ;-)
Originally Posted By wonderingalice Awwwww, c'mon... You know you'd rather have sunshine and warmth. ;-) 'course, here in Nevada we're waiting for the outcome on 11/4 to see if we finally get to come along. *L*
Originally Posted By RoadTrip On a county by county basis, most of the sunshine and warmth is red!! Going by land area, virtually every state west of New England is primarily red.
Originally Posted By DAR Wisconsin is blue primarily because of Milwaukee County and Dane County(People's Republic of Madison) and I think Brown County(Green Bay) I'm not sure about them. But those three counties are biggest in terms of population. The rest of the state tends to be redder than a naughty child's rear end.
Originally Posted By avromark Our Muni government feels it's their obligation to recarpet city hall every couple of years. You can see your tax dollars at work!
Originally Posted By fkurucz <<We get Intel and Microsoft>> FWIW, these corporations are "global" and if pressed will deny that they are "Ameican" or even "Nuevo California" (why not just stick with the trendier "Aztlan").
Originally Posted By FerretAfros "...44 percent say that evolution is only a theory..." That's what's fun about science. It's all a theory because nobody can actually prove that it will always be true. Ever wonder why it's the THEORY of Relativaty that made Einstein so famous? Because we know it's true, we just can't prove it. Gravity is a theory. We know it's there and keeps stuff in place, but at the same time, we don't have any evidence to prove that it won't just stop working at some point. Funny thing about science, it's a whole bunch of theories, and a whole bunch of conservatives. And if we're going by counties (which I think would be the fair way to do it), then it looks like the Reds get both Disneyland and Walt Disney World. Sure, you may have the skinny people, but we'll have all the fun on the way to our deathbeds!
Originally Posted By mawnck >>44 percent say that evolution is only a theory<< ... and 44 percent are right. It is "the theory of evolution." But they're confusing "theory" with "hypothesis." Theories in science are things we're pretty doggone sure are true, have bungloads of evidence backing them up, and nothing credible that disproves them. Like mawnck's theory of dittoheads. ;-)
Originally Posted By DlandDug As far as televangelists go, Blue gets the two biggest ones of all, Paul and Jan Crouch, based now (as always) in Southern California.
Originally Posted By avromark I find it funny in Canada the blues are the Conservatives (Moderate Right party), reds are the Lieberals (Claim to be centre, but love giving tax grants to large businesses, and seem to find more ways to cut social services then any other party). Of course we add "bleu" (light) for separatists, green for Environmentalists (was extreme right wing), off white for pro-lifers (Christian Heritage) and Orange for socialists. We also have a Marijana Party (based out of BC), a work less party (also out of BC). But nothing can compare to Poland who actually elected several reps of the Beer Drinking Party. Back to your discussion. BTW I'm a right wing Canadian which on your Political spectrum would make me a Democrat.
Originally Posted By mawnck >>As far as televangelists go, Blue gets the two biggest ones of all, Paul and Jan Crouch, based now (as always) in Southern California.<< Huh. So if we're going county by county, we lose Disneyland, but at least we won't be stuck with TBN or the Crystal Cathedral. What to do, what to do?
Originally Posted By ChurroMonster Of course you do. When they agree with you. When someone else's doesn't you see it as a threat and interfere. Stay out of California politics.
Originally Posted By wonderingalice *LOL* avromark... Our stuff is already too complicated. Please don't give our "leaders" any ideas! (Though that Beer Drinking Party from Poland might be good for some giggles. ;-)
