Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan In today's "Wait? What? He was still running?" campaign news, Newt will suspend his presidential campaign, because we are not worthy. Here is an advanced excerpt from his speech: "Americans, I promised you a moon base. Well, you can suck it. And I was going to surprise you with a mission to Jupiter, but now, you can forget that, too. You're stuck on this planet. I intend to roam the seas in my submarine, Calsita III, brooding about humanity." "I said some pretty nutty things out there on the campaign trail. It gets lonely with only coyotes and tumbleweeds to talk to. So, if you're in charge at any of the cable news channels, let's not let a little hysterical ranting stop me from getting a job as a professional hysterical ranter." "We changed America with this campaign. When we started, it was 2011. Now, it's a different year entirely. People have died and been born during that time, and I'd like to think, in some small way, that I am responsible for that." "The most important thing is that we defeat Barack Obama. After that, the most important thing is that we bring back the Cosbys for a Cosby Show reunion. I loved that program. It was the 80's and whatever wife I was with at the time and myself would tune into that killer block of must-see-TV. Family Ties, Cheers, me in congress... ah, those were the days. Not like today, which totally bites."
Originally Posted By tiggertoo I love the fact that several days earlier he announced that he "would be" suspending his campaign in a few days. What a hoot.
Originally Posted By Labuda +1 for William! hehe And, nice to see that it's not exactly front page news on CNN today - just a small little link on the left.
