Originally Posted By ecdc <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/10/16/prom.canceled.ap/index.html" target="_blank">http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/10/ 16/prom.canceled.ap/index.html</a> I don't think the question is whether he had a right to cancel it - it is a private school. But should the principal have canceled it? Reading this particular version of events, I gotta say, I'm with the principal. Kids spending 20,000 on a rental property for a party? Parents renting yachts for after-dance get togethers? I admire the man for essentially saying, "Do what you want, but we're washing our hands of the whole thing."
Originally Posted By EdisYoda I just read this on MSNBC.com and I agree. Kids (or actually parents) are spending way to much on these. It's another case of I spent more then you did. And Let's see, this is a Catholic school, isn't there a Commandment that deals with that? Or maybe it's one of the Seven Deadly Sins? Either way, enough is enough! I mean $20,000 for a house rental for after prom! Give me a break.
Originally Posted By Liberty Belle It's a little unfair for the students who were looking forward to the prom but not planning to go over the top ... but I think something had to be done, because that's really ridiculous! It's just a school's social event, when it really comes down to it - I don't look back on mine as anything particularly special or memorable, just another fun night.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip The financial decadence surrounding the prom at this school is a great example of everything that is wrong with America today. The Principal was 100% correct in his stand. Prom needs to get back to where it is dinner at a local steak house followed by the dance at the school followed by going home.
Originally Posted By jdub I think the principal had not only the right, but also the responsibility to take the action he did. What concerns me is that ultimately these kids never got the "center" (if that's what we can call that) from their parents--who of course are actually funding much of this prom-related decadence.
Originally Posted By gadzuux Cancelling the prom is a stab in the right direction, but ultimately the principal is losing "the war". Conspicuous consumption and rampant consumerism is the american way, and these kids have been indoctrinated to status seeking from birth. High school is the ultimate in establishing a pecking order, with a complicated social structure of "hip" vs "snubbed". Yes, it's the parent's "fault" but how can anyone expect these kids to have any deeper values - they are a product of their environment - they DO reflect their parent's values, even if they're empty values based in madison avenue materialism. Hat's off to the principal. He can't hope to change these people, but he can opt out and not facilitate in the corruption of youth. Muffy and Brandon will get along just fine without the prom, but it may be a long time before they ever really understand why.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan >>Muffy and Brandon will get along just fine without the prom, but it may be a long time before they ever really understand why.<< I agree, but I can't help but think that there WILL still be a prom of some sort. Maybe not officially sponsored or sanctioned by the school, but it's unlikely that parents willing to fork over that kind of dough will ever allow Muffy and Brandon to do without. In fact, I bet there's a strong contingent of parents at that school that don't understand why the prom was cancelled, either. If anyone has ever tried to stomach an episode or two of MTV's "Sweet Sixteen" show, where cameras record the events leading up to these lavish spoiled princess celebrations for Hellions without a clue, this prom sounds right in line with that.
Originally Posted By gadzuux On the flip side: by coincidence, I just got back from spending a weekend up in tahoe with a group of people I knew twenty years ago, when we were all young and gorgeous. This group all comes from privilege and it shows. Besides the "old-money family grand lodge" at the lake, they all have big lincoln SUVs, designer dogs, impressive vacations, and high-maintenance lifestyles. But they're all great people too - happy, healthy, well-adjusted, bright, responsible careers and fulfilling lives. It was interesting to catch up on people that I knew from long ago, now that we're all approaching our fifties. Money and privilege do not necessarily mean that people are vain or shallow or self indulgent. Or without perspective on true values. In some ways, they're more grounded and responsible than I am. Money is power, and with power comes responsibility. The problem with this insulated NY community isn't the money, it's the people.
Originally Posted By jdub >>The problem with this insulated NY community isn't the money, it's the people.<< Agreed
Originally Posted By RoadTrip <<Money and privilege do not necessarily mean that people are vain or shallow or self indulgent. Or without perspective on true values. In some ways, they're more grounded and responsible than I am. Money is power, and with power comes responsibility.>> I agree. But at the same time I wonder if we give the proper message to our kids. When my daughter and her friends "graduated" from Middle School, they wanted to rent a limo to pick them up from school on the last day and then take them to the local mall, McDonalds, etc. By the time the cost was split between 5 sets of parents it didn't cost that much, so we went ahead and did it. The kids loved it. Our daughter came home just glowing and talking about how she had never felt so special in her life. I worried about what we had done (growing up in the 60's leaves its mark), but I figured if it made my little girl that happy it was OK. Fast forward to High School and College. My daughter is now so darned liberal she borders on Socialist. She is definitely way left of where my wife and I are. She has taken the excesses common where she grew up and seen that life in Eden Prairie is not at all like life in most of the US. She has rejected the excesses and decided that while having money is probably better than not having money, it should not define who you are. So… for the most part she has become a very well-grounded young lady. I'm not sure if our little Middle School splurge was a good thing or a bad thing. It is something I would not want to repeat, but at the same time I don’t regret it. My wife and I have tired of the "we are better than everyone else" lifestyle. We've sold our present home and are moving to a neighborhood much closer to where we work. This neighborhood is still considered a premier suburb. But the homes and people are much more modest than where we are now. As our realtor said after driving around the area, "I just love it... this area is so "Leave it to Beaver.†We’ve lived with the “rich folkâ€, and frankly decided they aren’t much fun to live with. We are looking for a simpler and more casual lifestyle and hope we’ve found it. How does any of this relate to the original post? I’m not sure to tell you the truth. I just thought it might be appropriate to comment that the lifestyle of excessive consumption is not necessarily the most satisfying one.
Originally Posted By gadzuux >> She has rejected the excesses and decided that while having money is probably better than not having money, it should not define who you are. << I'd make one important distinction - YOU have money, SHE has nothing. While I understand that she's benefited from your level of means, she only gets what you decide to provide. Limos to mcdonalds can be a fun evening as long as she understands it for what it is - a momentary splurge and not an entitlement. Sounds like she "gets" that.
Originally Posted By DlandDug I think it's a shame that the prom has been cancelled for the many, many kids who were no doubt looking forward to it. I wonder just how many "bad apples" there are at this school. For many kids, ordinary mortals, the prom is one of the bigger, if not the biggest social event of their youth. By cancelling this, the principal seems unaware of that. (Disclosure: I really was not interested in my prom, and went only as a junior, since my girlfriend was a senior that year.) That the spoiled rich kids will have an alternate entertainment, and any number of diversions is a given. But what will the offspring ordinary folks get? Another lesson in inequity.
Originally Posted By DlandDug I should also mention that I am still astonished at parents who will indulge their children in this way. Money, yes, but access to liquor and places to obviously engage in sex is just mystifying. Would these parents go out and score drugs for their kids?
Originally Posted By wahooskipper Parents don't know how to say "NO" to their children anymore and that problem crosses all economic lines in my opinion.
Originally Posted By gurgitoy2 "If anyone has ever tried to stomach an episode or two of MTV's "Sweet Sixteen" show, where cameras record the events leading up to these lavish spoiled princess celebrations for Hellions without a clue, this prom sounds right in line with that." Man that show is so bad! Those kids on there really need a dose of "reality"! The fact that the parents continue to cater to them while they are being horrible spoiled brats is amazin. As for this prom thing, I have a feeling it won't matter to the spoiled ones too much, they'll just find something else to do and spend money on. Especially on Long Island... ...I have to say, I DON'T like going to Long Island. It's the most insular place I've ever been and the most shallow. It's not a very welcoming place, and it's as if it's entirely cut off from the rest of NY.
Originally Posted By MrToadWildRider >>"If anyone has ever tried to stomach an episode or two of MTV's "Sweet Sixteen" show, where cameras record the events leading up to these lavish spoiled princess celebrations for Hellions without a clue, this prom sounds right in line with that." Man that show is so bad! Those kids on there really need a dose of "reality"! The fact that the parents continue to cater to them while they are being horrible spoiled brats is amazin. As for this prom thing, I have a feeling it won't matter to the spoiled ones too much, they'll just find something else to do and spend money on. Especially on Long Island... << I agree on both comments. I've seen that show like twice and I'm like rooting for like the DEA to kick the doors down and bust the kid and her parents for making their money through drug trades with a Dragnet like ending: "Missy II was indicted for drug trafficking and was sent to a juveile institution for 2 years until her 18th birthday at which point she will join her mother, Missy I, in Federal Prison for a term of 10 years....she never got to eat her 16th birthday cake" And the second paragraph I bet there are a bunch of spoiled kids crying now but then they're gonna say "Hey - we can still go and have our drugged out sex party in the 20,000 dollar beach house....and we won't have to plan it around some Catholic school sponsored dance....sweet"
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan >> I bet there are a bunch of spoiled kids crying now but then they're gonna say "Hey - we can still go and have our drugged out sex party in the 20,000 dollar beach house....and we won't have to plan it around some Catholic school sponsored dance....sweet" << Yep. Count on it.
Originally Posted By MrToadWildRider Oh and to answer the OP I agree with the principle. It may still go on and there's not much he can do other than wash his hands of it and the name of the school. If they're going to act that way that's their business but I wouldn't want it associated with my school either, especially not a Catholic school.
Originally Posted By Mrs 2oon Maybe they should change the prom to a more casual location like the school gym or a local hall. So many proms these days are at high society-type hotels in Grand Ballrooms that these kids try to act 25 instead of 17 and 18 year olds that they are. As for the parents who are renting places for the kids' "after parties".....they will get a big dose of reality when the kids get busted for drugs and underage drinking (and sometimes the consequences that arrive nine months later.) Now...not all parents that are involved in this are irresponsible. But, it sure sounds like some of them are. Those are the ones I am referring to.
Originally Posted By RC Collins >>I agree, but I can't help but think that there WILL still be a prom of some sort. Maybe not officially sponsored or sanctioned by the school, but it's unlikely that parents willing to fork over that kind of dough will ever allow Muffy and Brandon to do without. In fact, I bet there's a strong contingent of parents at that school that don't understand why the prom was cancelled, either.<< Right. Just because the school isn't going to officially host the prom, there can still be one. They have definitely gotten out of hand, but that is the choice of the participants. For high school boys looking for you-know-what, the prom is largely a waste of time and money. The girls who are going to give it to them are going to give it to them whether or not there is a prom. Girls who think it is okay to sleep with a boy just because they had a nice time together at the prom... well, I feel sorry for them. For more innocent-minded participants, it can be a fun time as the school year gets closer to the end. I went both my junior and senior year. My junior year, I went with a family friend who was two years older and didn't go to my school. I had somewhat of a crush on her, but there was never anything between us ever. I cherish the memory, though, because a little over a decade later she died a slow, painful, cancerous death, even though she was otherwise one of the most fit people I knew.
