Originally Posted By MomofPrincess I have had a really wearing few weeks. On top of being severely anemic (which, in itself, has caused me to feel pretty darn lousy) and having to undergo IV iron infusions every week for the past few months, I have been dealing with a lot of stress. Without going into too long a story, I am 39 and my sister and parents are deceased. I have two older brothers; one has been in a neuro care home for the past 11 years (tomorrow is the anniversary of his accident) due to a very severe brain injury, and the other has suffered from hydrocephalus his whole life (water on the brain) and, on top of many surgeries and near-death experiences, he also is now a paranoid schizophrenic. My brain-injured brother is always on my mind and, frankly, there is no closure. He can't eat, walk or even talk... yet he has a normal life expectancy. We visited him yesterday (he lives in a home 3 hours away, not too far from Disneyland) and it was just very depressing. He's always frustrated, depressed and in pain. I worry about him all the time and wish I could do something to help him, but I can't. So there's that. Then there's my other brother, Mark. As I said, he spent years having brain surgeries, in comas, spending weeks/months in CHOC, learning to walk again, etc. When I came along (I'm 9 years younger), I was the bright spot in his life. He had a very miserable childhood being sick all the time and never having any friends. He was always very bright but "different" because of his illness. He had to wear a helmet to school for many of his childhood years because a fall could have been fatal to him. He grew up and developed schizophrenia as a young adult. My mother and father cared for him for years and saw to it that he lived as normal a life as possible. However, he's gone downhill quite a bit since they passed away; not only because no one is there to watch out for him, but I think he's generally just getting worse. Have you ever seen the movie, "A Beautiful Mind?" That's Mark. Always thinking he has government connections, always paranoid and living in fear... writing letters, fighting with the police, and creating more problems for himself. It goes on and on. ANYWAY. It's an even longer story, but he is in immediate danger of losing his house and being rendered homeless. We're in a small, very isolated community (no other town for 90 miles) where there are no resources available for someone like him. He doesn't make enough to pay rent anywhere, we don't have the space for him in our house, and honestly - I can't subject my children to his mental illness even if we did have the space. Still my heart BREAKS for him and I worry about him every day. I worry about him so much that if I even have a moment of happiness, I feel guilty because I shouldn't be happy knowing how his life is right now. I probably need therapy, but I've been out so much having iron infusions (and $8k worth of dental work this year!) that I can't afford any more time off from work. Gosh, could this go on any longer? All I'm asking is that you pray for my brother or at least think positively for him if you don't believe in prayer. He needs all the help he can get right now, and he's/we're so alone. No other family or people to turn to, at this point. I don't know what the answers to his problems will be, but I'm hoping somehow he will be okay. I have to trust in God and just do the best I can. But I figured maybe you guys can at least send a prayer or two up for him. Sometimes I wonder why he was even put on this earth--what is the point of his life? He is so alone and sad and tortured, and always has been. Thank you so much. And, truly--I'm sorry for the novel. Thank you for being there...
Originally Posted By Kira Sending out my thoughts to you and I hope the events in your life start to look up soon! =) *hugs*
Originally Posted By MomofPrincess BTW: I didn't mean I'm ALONE-alone -- I am happily married with two lovely children. I just meant we don't have any parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. left. (Everyone's deceased.) How I'd love a family member to turn to in a time like this!
Originally Posted By debtee Sending you positive thoughts MomofPrincess. It sounds like you cope fine but sometimes you just need a hug and someone to talk to about this burden. When you are sick it always becomes much harder to deal with other issues so I'm sending you good thoughts to get better soon.
Originally Posted By lilgoofymom MomofPrincess,You,your brothers and the rest of your family are in my prayers. I will pray for peace of mind for you and a positive solution for your brother's situation. *hugs* for you all.
Originally Posted By sherrytodd Hugs and positive thoughts for all of you. You're a stong woman to have had to endure so much. You deserve every moment of happiness you have and many many more. Don't forget this.
Originally Posted By beamerdog {{{{MomofPrincess}}}} I don't know how much in the way of services your 2nd brother gets but maybe these sites can help: <a href="http://www.mhac.org/" target="_blank">http://www.mhac.org/</a> Reaching out the underserved counties community project: <a href="http://www.mhac.org/education/index.cfm" target="_blank">http://www.mhac.org/education/ index.cfm</a> Need Help?: <a href="http://www.mhac.org/help/index.cfm" target="_blank">http://www.mhac.org/help/index .cfm</a> CA dept of mental health: <a href="http://www.dmh.ca.gov/faq/faq.asp" target="_blank">http://www.dmh.ca.gov/faq/faq. asp</a> You probably know most of what's here, but maybe there's a little something that can help. Try and keep your chin up. I'll be keeping your family and you in my thoughts as will many others here at lp.
Originally Posted By MomofPrincess Thank you, all. I'm embarrassed now that I posted so much; contrary to how I must sound, I normally don't dwell on the negatives in life. Today, I just felt more down/hopeless than usual. Normally I am upbeat and grateful. I'm just worried right now, I guess. Beamerdog, thank you SO very much for those links -- I really appreciate your help and will check everything out. That was very considerate of you. Thank you again, everyone, so much.
Originally Posted By LuLu Lots of love and prayers for you and your brothers, MoP. Please don't feel embarrassed! You live every day with a heavy burden. Many LPers are happy to lend an ear, a hug, and a prayer. Take care.
Originally Posted By beamerdog You're welcome. As you could probably guess, I've had some experience untangling the web of state services in my state Sounds like you might need a little respite from all of your responsibilities. Even the strongest of us needs a break in order to continue loving and caring for others. Another thought (This finally solved some problems for us). Try calling your US senators and representative for some help. It's not really their thing, but someone on their staff is usually connected with state services and at least can identify a few individuals to help out. Also contact your local representatives and the governator, or better yet, his wife, who had a history of mental illness in her extended Kennedy family. Link on Rosemary Kennedy: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/</a> Rosemary_Kennedy Okay, enough already - I tend to go haywire when researching something...
Originally Posted By wonderingalice Prayers and lots of positive energy headed your way from me and Mr. Alice... *HUGS*
Originally Posted By lilgoofymom You do not sound like you are dwelling on the negatives to me. You have been a lot and are going through so much now. It obvious that you love your brothers very much and are in pain from fear of what will happen to them. Again, my prayers for you and yours.
Originally Posted By Ursula Please, feel free to vent. I find talking on the internet sometimes helps to relieve pressure, and in some cases, might lead to help. Someone might have or link the solution for you. I wish the best of everything to you and yours.
Originally Posted By Tinkeroon Prayers for you and your brothers! And many hugs too. (((MomofPrincess)))
Originally Posted By DlandJB Thanks for sharing your story and don't be embarrased for doing so. This is a great group. You are right that you are not going to be able to take him in. The best you can do is try to find something else for him (do you have a church that might have some connections for resources?) All of you are in our prayers.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo MoP - we are all hear for you. Please do not be embarrassed at all. Although we are not therapy with a capital T, there are a lot of good souls on LP who are happy to support you through these trying times. If you can vent here, then feel free. All our positive thoughts are with you and your family. Big bear hugs from the Baloos.
Originally Posted By bloona Glad you shared your story with us, positive hugs coming your way and your brothers ways. xx
Originally Posted By smedley I'm sending you positive thoughts and hugs, here's hoping some of beamerdog's links can provide you with helo.. {{{{{MoP}}}}}
