Originally Posted By DDMAN26 I just received this humorous little e-mail The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear"the rules"from the female point of view... Now here are the rules from the male side These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men ARE NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, fishing, or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Love that one!
Originally Posted By BashPal4roberts1398 Okay, okay, so why: <<1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. >> and yet <<1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! >> arggggggggggggggggggggggggggg, WHY can't you just say we're round, why do you have to use the "f" word?
Originally Posted By Inspector 57 <<1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.>> Thank you!
Originally Posted By a goofy guy YES!!! I'm still laughing!! <<1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.>> <<1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!>> <<1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.>> How true it is!
Originally Posted By kmsandrbs One to add ... 1. When we get up to leave, it's time to go! Goodbye only needs to be said once.
Originally Posted By AladdinAZ Bash wrote : "arggggggggggggggggggggggggggg, WHY can't you just say we're round, why do you have to use the "f" word?" 1. Ask for what you want. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost Because round is just another way to say fat. Being called round doesn't make any of us thinner. I know because I am fat. Do I like it?..no! Can I do anything about it?..yes! Will I? Hopefully soon! But the word changes nothing. I used to hate the word obese more than anyother word on the planet but that too means fat. That too means round! It's not the word it's the condition. Ramble over!
Originally Posted By SFH I've lost about 20 lbs in six weeks after I saw my doctor getting ready to strangle me in frustration. I figure I have about 40 lbs to go before I'm back to the healthy level. My wife and I found this seminar helpful in husband/wife communications <a href="http://loveandrespect.com" target="_blank">http://loveandrespect.com</a> SFH
