Originally Posted By MOLLYSMOM I hate it when you're happy and bummed at the same time. Maybe if I vent, I will feel better. Who better to vent to than you guys? Where to start? Reader's Digest Condensed version...August 2005 we go to DL for the first time. December 2005 we decide we HAVE to go back or we will just DIE, and decide to return August 2007. It is also decided that we will go during DH's birthday, which is August 15th. I immediately start my Disney fund, and Disney binder. February 2006, I ask my two sisters and their families if they would like to come along. They have never been to DL, and are very excited. I offer to pay the way for youngest sister...she is a single mom, and times are not THAT great. I was a single mom once...I know how it is. Our parents find out about our plans, and say they would like to go, too. Parent's 50th anniversary is June 2007, so middle sister and myself cook up a plan to fly them to DL to meet us as a surprise for their 50th, and let youngest sister in on the plans, which meet with her approval. Middle sister and I agree to split parents' expenses. We agree to keep DL talk to a minimum around parents, so the "cat stays in the bag." Parents then think it would be really cool to rent an RV and drive down to DL together as a family. We're talking 1600 miles one way, and 12 people...7 adults and 5 kids. Two days down, and two days back. They think this would be the ultimate family vacation. We are not keen on the idea, and respectfully say that we prefer to fly. We point out that a flight is 5 hours, and we'd like to spend as much time in the park as possible. We also point out that driving home after a week in the park will be very tiring. We state again that we prefer to fly, but if the rest of them want to RV, they should do that. It is their vacation, and they should do what they think they would like best. We add that if we were planning to go on an RV sight-seeing vacation it would be a blast, but we have planned on going to DL for DH's birthday, and since we have a specific goal in mind, we'd like to fly. Fast foreward...parents, two sisters and their families are driving down to DL in an RV. The "surprise" of flying the folks down to DL to join us no longer exists. Two sisters believe that their going down in the RV together with the parents is sufficient enough of a gift for the parent's 50th and do not believe that any kind of party, gift, or other celebration is necessary!!! I am now the @#$@%^&#*^@ of the family because myself, DD and DH are still flying down to DL instead of going in the RV. I have tried to explain that we still NEED to do something special for the folks for their 50th...I know my folks love us, but I really don't think the "pleasure of my sister's company" is gonna cut it. DH and I have planned on getting a PS for them for the Fantasmic Balcony Buffet, and dinner at Napa Rose, so two sisters think "that's enough".(youngest sister's words) DH told me to book our trip, which I did, and we are all VERY excited. DH says that we will have an awesome time whether we hook up with the rest of the family or not...besides, the vacation plan was to take him down for his birthday gift...not to have the family RV quest. I'm feeling bad, but I can't really put into words what kind of "bad." At the same time, I AM SO FLIPPING EXCITED THAT OUR TRIP IS BOOKED, and am counting the days...319... I don't feel too much better, and my fingers hurt...those of you that decided to read this probably have sore eyes...my apologies. I'm making ressies for Fantasmic, and Goofy's...30 days out for Fantasmic, and 60 for Goofy's, right??????? You guys are the best therapy.
Originally Posted By SuzieQ Well, with 319 days to go a lot can change! You've got lots of time to work on the siblings, LOL Hooray for getting your trip booked!
Originally Posted By ibob1952 I'm guessing those RVing will not mind having the extra space in the long run. Yay ... YOU'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!!
Originally Posted By sherrytodd I can guarantee that 1600 miles in a RV with my family would not be a gift for anyone! The Fantasmic Buffet and dinner at Napa Rose is a good gift. Let them have a romantic evening alone without the family. They'll need it by then. Congratulations on booking your trip!
Originally Posted By oneroberta Families are frustrating...This I know I always have such HIGH expectations and I ALWAYS am left disappointed.... I am going with my 2 boys to DL in March-- I had originally planed WDW ( where I own a 6 bdrm vacation home) YEAH That made more sense ... BUT NO all my family is in CALIF... and since I'm single Mom w/ 2 sm boys thought go to DL stay at DLH and I will get to see family, maybe get some help, and beside I live out of state so my family rarely gets to see my boys. Now, I'm waiting til March cuz that is when My Sister who lives 20 minutes from DL said she gets her vacation... She informed me I guess I can take ONE day off... One Day I'll be there for 14 (7 DL & 7 San Diego)Then My Sister who live in San Franciso whose daughter (my Niece is in college at UC SanDiego) goes down to SD once a Month... She said oh fun, You might get to see J (my niece) no, "Great we can coordinate to see each other..." But with or without family my boys and I will have a ball BECAUSE there is one who never disappoints and his name is MICKEY!!!!!! I didnt mean to go on & on and I didnt realize that I too needed to vent... I just want you to know ... YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING and youre not alone...
Originally Posted By mickeynewe You are so not alone. Love our extended family, but things aren't as easy as they seem with families! Don't alter your plans. Yours were set originally and you kindly invited the others along to join you on YOUR vacation. You are not obligated to change your ORIGINAL plans to adapt to their needs. You have no idea how disappointed my hubby and I have been over trips planned to Disneyland with family. Ultimately, we have learned to just let things go and always enjoy things within our own nuclear family. It doesn't mean you don't love your family, it just means that you have to take care of your own family first. Also, the only one that can ever make you feel guilty..is yourself..so don't let others make you feel this way. You are going to have a WONDERFUL time. Don't let anyone take that excitement away from you!
Originally Posted By MOLLYSMOM Oh, you guys are better than a trip to see Dr. Phil. I am SOOOO glad to know that my family is not the only family that drives family members nuts. I guess my frustration is that while I respect their desire to go on this road trip, they have absolutely NO respect for my desire to fly. The thing is, I hate to fly. I WILL NOT fly someplace that I can drive....except to Disneyland. That is the only reason I will get on a plane. If I'm willing to get my butt in the sky, they all know it's for something pretty darn special. Yet, all they can say now is that I'm being selfish. They think that this may be the last time we can all go on a "family vacation", because my parents are 70. If 12 of us were cooped up in an RV together, half of us would be thrown out on the side of the freeway before we got out of Washington state! Besides, I AM going with my family...as much as I love my sisters and my folks, Molly and George ARE my family. Crud, I offered to pay for half of, or all of my family's expenses, and now I'm selfish because I don't want to go on the trip from hell with them? Ok, I'm selfish. You all make a wonderful, "smile inducing" point, though....I booked my trip and I'm going to Disneyland in 321 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Molly, George and I are so happy, that we're acting like we're leaving tomorrow. I think I've looked at my itinerary 30 times today. Like George says, while we're laughing our rears off on some ride, they're gonna be stuck in traffic outside of L.A.....listening to 4 tired kids pick at each other...and my mom complaining about EVERYTHING (her favorite pasttime), and my mom and sister arguing about something (they just like to argue). Yup, have a real, fun, family trip, guys...you don't know what you're missing. I vow to buy a Margarita Grande for any surviving family member that actually makes it to Disneyland unscathed. You know, those really good ones from California Adventure. My poor dad (otherwise known as the peacemaker) gets two. Boy, do I feel good now. I don't feel like such a selfish, ungrateful daughter. You all send me a bill for my therapy session...Margarita Grandes on me!!!!!
Originally Posted By momrussell We are terrible to our family who live in LA. When we go to Disneyland we don't tell them we are even in town. I live in fear, when we do see them that the kids will talk about our trip. IF they do I will just have to politely say that we needed some private family time. Don't feel guilty about the RV. If you feel resentful it will come out. You'll have a better relationship with your family if you polietly stand your ground!
Originally Posted By TinkerbellPatten Here's a fun suggestion: change your itinerary to be one day earlier than originally planned and spend that day at DLand with your DD and DH. The 3 of you deserve that special day to yourselves MINUS all the other "excitement" that the rest of the family is sure to provide when they all arrive. Your hubby deserves a day at DLand just the 3 of you. Everyone else can still celebrate it with him there (along with the parent's anniversary and etc) when they arrive, but consider how special it would be when its just you 3.
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 ^^ Sounds like a great idea You are smart to do what is best for your family Knowing yourself and your limits is the only way to have a great vacation. I can't imagine that 12 people in the same space (no matter how plush the RV is) for that amount of time would be happy campers when they step off the vehicle. Then the thought of being together at DLR and the ride back is just unthinkable to me. I love my sisters, brother and mom but when we all have our own space we are much happier. I know some families are so close that they don't think twice about being together all the time, not ours. I think you are very kind to arrange to have special plans for your parents. My thought is that you should have your sisters do their own thing and the PS can be from you.
Originally Posted By Tinkerbell819 We just rented the movie "RV" last weekend and I am very glad that you are not going to be driving 1600 miles in one of them with 12 people! lol I agree with the other folks, you have made the right decision for your family! (and your sanity!)
Originally Posted By mickeynewe I love our family with all my heart, but family vacations as I said before can be stressful. We went on a 10 day trip with hubby's family to WDW several years ago. My husband knows that I am the type of person that needs my "alone/quiet" time to just breathe throughout the day as I get stressed very easily..hey, at least I admit it. First, they were upset because I refused to share a room. That may sound mean, but the only people I WANT to be with 24/7 are my hubby and daughter. Next, we "quietly" planned to arrive 3 days earlier to enjoy some private family bonding time. Well, that got out of the bag and we had family going early with us. Since it was his grandparents, I actually found that quite enjoyable because it gave him some alone time with them. Then everyone else arrived. And again, I reiterate how much we love our family, but all of a sudden your life is taken over. You are being told where to go, when to go, and you have no control over your own day. [Everyone HAD to do EVERYTHING together] Midway through the trip I was so stressed out that I sat my husband down and INSISTED we spend some time alone together as a family. You want to talk about selfish? That was my selfish moment! I knew it was a difficult position for my husband, but off we went. It was the BEST day of our trip. We rented one of those pontoon (sp?) boats and explored all the different waterways around WDW. We had such a blast! Afterwards, we were ALL refreshed and we were able to enjoy the rest of the vacation. Again, don't feel guilty. I am the type of person that has ALWAYS felt naturally guilty, and people use that against me, but I learned to get over it. If people want to call you selfish, so be it. Although, I find it extremely difficult to imagine anyone thinking you are selfish when you invited them to join YOUR vacation and offered to PAY for part of another's expenses. Don't let anyone fool you...you're not being selfish. To the contrary, I find your gestures very kind and generous. No guilt allowed. Enjoy yourself and be happy!
Originally Posted By MOLLYSMOM Thanks, everyone. I slept on it last night, and after talking to all of you here, and to DH last night, I feel so much better. DH thinks we should buy the movie "RV" for the rest of the family for christmas. I'm guessing they could make their own movie themselves by the end of things. Every word you all said to me is true, and even though I've felt that way myself, it's always nice to hear it from someone else. We all get to know each other here on the boards in some way or another, but we are still pretty much strangers in the deeper sense. That is the reason I knew I could spill my guts to you all, and I knew I would get the most objective opinions from you as well. While DH has said the same things that you have, I also know he loves me dearly, and he would never tell me I was being selfish in this matter, even if he thought I was. DH said that the three of us had such a great time last year, and it will be even better next year...family or not. He actually said that he hopes they don't stick to us like leeches. We have the free-for-all approach to DL. We don't use a map or anything, we just go where the fun leads us. We don't give a rip about a fast pass because standing in line can be fun, and you meet nice people. We'll ride the same ride 5 times a day if we want. We walked in circles a lot last year, and got lost more than once, but it always made for a good laugh. Who cares? We've got nowhere to go, we're on vacation. My family is going to be the "map people", and they will hate standing in line too long. I think we'll be spending quite a lot of time by ourselves. Since DH and DD have put up with my stressing about this issue, and more than a few tears, I'm going to treat them to a surprise lunch at the BB. We had ressies last year, but our plane got fogged in, and we were a day late to DL and missed our PS. I think the Disney Gods were with me this morning. FedEx delivered a package from Disney shopping. I ordered DD a Tinkerbell charm necklace and Tinkerbell sneakers for her birthday next thursday. You are all the most wonderful people, and as much as we are able to connect here in this venue, I consider many of you my new friends. I am going to go fondle my vacation confirmation papers from Alaska Airlines again, and then do my happy dance.
Originally Posted By sherrytodd LOL, glad to know I'm not the only vacation confirmation fondler here. I even keep an old used Disneyland and Disney World passport in my wallet at all times to take out and fondle when I'm having a bad day. Oops. Have I shared too much? xD
Originally Posted By mickeynewe LOL..you two are funny! Does fondling my binder count? I am so glad you are feeling better about the situation! And there is obviously a reason why your DH loves you so much..you are a caring person! *joins you in the happy dance*
Originally Posted By MOLLYSMOM DH says that fondling is a good thing...I ASSUME he his speaking of Disney passports, binders and reservation confirmations. NOW who's sharing too much?!? I printed 2 copies of my reservation paperwork. One to keep in my binder at home, and one to keep at work to look at whenever I want. In fact, I think I'll look at it now...yup, still there. EVERY night I look in my binder and fondle its contents. Every night, my DD says, "Geez, mom, are you looking at that again?" I told her that if she was going to have that attitude, she was not allowed to touch or look in the binder. She thinks I'M nuts, but I have yet to point out to her the "Disney Drawer" she has in her room, full of all her mementoes, and all the items she plans on taking along with her next summer. I've caught her groping things and ferreting around in there. I've seen her pull all her pressed pennies out of her penny books and arrange them by character, then pull them out again and arrange them in alphabetical order. I have seen the paper in her purse that has the words to the POTC song on it...oh, wait, that's me. To this day, I have heard DH tell the tale of the day that the margarita machine in California Adventure malfunctioned, and the CM apologized because the 'ritas were mostly tequilla. I have heard DH proudly state that he hosed down 4 margarita grandes before the CM said he had to call for maintenance. I guess my point is this...I have come to realize these past few days that no matter how insane I think my family is, or how much they drive me bat s#%t, I'll still love them, and no matter what they do or what they say, THEY WILL NOT RUIN MY VACATION!!!!!!! DH, DD, and myself have become Disney freaks in the truest and best sense of the word, and there is NOTHING anyone can do to spoil that for us. I just won't allow it. I'm off to do the happy dance again.
Originally Posted By ajnhollysmommy Here is my idea. Invite the whole family over for a Movie Night. Rent the movie RV with Robbin Williams (very fun PG movie) And then remind them all that you are very glad you guys are flying to Dinsneyland
Originally Posted By MOLLYSMOM Good idea, ajnhollysmommy. These people ACTUALLY believe that this will be a fun family bonding thing. I know for a fact that they will hate each other's guts by the time they get to the California border. My youngest sis thinks that because my parents are 70, this may be the last time we can all do this together, and we should "embrace the opportunity." It's this RV trip that's gonna kill the folks, not their age!!!!! My mom LIVES to complain. She will complain that the RV is too small, too hot, too noisy, too smelly....my youngest sister will then point out that mom is ALWAYS complaining, and ask her if she can possibly say ANYTHING good. Mom will say that she doesn't ALWAYS complain, and then youngest sis will say that mom never takes her seriously because she's the youngest and insists on treating her like a child. This will then cause middle sis to argue that mom does NOT treat her like a child, and in fact favors her over the other kids BECAUSE she's the youngest. This will all take place before they even back out of the driveway. About the time they reach I-90 (5 miles from the affore-mentioned driveway), my poor dad will have heard enough, and demand that everyone shut the heck up or he's going to leave them all at the side of the road and just take the grandkids and son in law to Disneyland. This will cause the son in law to errupt in laughter and offer my dad $20.00 to do just that. Middle sis will then tell her husband to "shut up". Mom will then blame youngest sis for "starting with her" and "making dad all upset". Dad will then shake his head back and forth, give the son in law "the look", and say a bad word or two under his breath. "The look" is dad's facial feature that tells everyone he is TOTALLY disgusted...not with family, but with himself for being stupid and thinking this could be pulled off effortlessly. The two sisters will then giggle, causing mom to give out her own "look" which means knock it off or else. Did I say that the two sisters are 44 and 35 years old???? There will be a moment of silence out of respect for dad, and then mom will start again. She won't actually complain, but whine and b#$%h. She will check dad's speed limit every 4 miles and point out how fast he's going. She will hound the grandkids not to spill or make messes in the RV, and not to talk or laugh loudly because grampa is driving. She will whine that she can't get comfortable, and say she needs to stretch her legs and have a smoke. Poor dad will point out that they have only traveled 15 miles, and she surely can't need a stretch and a smoke yet. He will stop for her though, so he can have another 15 miles of silence before she starts again. Maps.com says that non-stop driving should take 19 hours. They do not take into consideration traveling with MY family. DH and I have started a betting pool amongst ourselves. We have also included the prevoiusly mentioned son in law. The guy doesn't want to drive down, but middle sister won't fly for any reason, so he is stuck...kinda like being in quicksand. I have put in the time of 32 hours and 27 minutes as my guess...one way. I think I may be a bit low, because of course, mom will want to gaze at several scenic stops along the way, not to mention potty breaks and such. Yup, she won't let anyone use the bathroom in the RV, so they'll be stopping along the route if they need to go. Crazy thing is, that it's my middle sis that's getting the RV from her friend, so mom really shouldn't have a say. If they ever get to Disneyland, no one will be speaking for a day or two, and mom will take EVERY opportunity to tell me how awful it was in GRAVE DETAIL. She will ask me if she's told me the story before, and even if I say, "ya, mom, twice", she will tell it to me again. She will speak badly of my sisters, who will in turn tell me what a crazy old bat mom is. Dad will spend a day or two shaking his head from side to side and wonder what ever posessed him to think an RV was a good idea. I will then take extreme pleasure in reminding dad that I offered to pay for his airfare and hotel, but he wanted to drive. Dad will then give me "the look", I'll start laughing and offer to buy him the best margarita that California Adventure has to offer. About the third 'rita, dad will say, "daughter, you were right...we shoulda flown". I'll say, "yup, and you gotta drive back with those morons." Then he'll laugh and get over it and have the best time of his life.
Originally Posted By oneroberta MOLLYSMOM----- Thanks for the entertainment-That one should cause spontanious giggles throughout the day...
Originally Posted By MOLLYSMOM One person's entertainment is another person's embarrassment...........
