Originally Posted By RoadTrip I had been in a pretty poor mood the last few days. Because our departmental director had done some pretty poor planning (as one of my team members said, “he just pulled an implementation date out of his buttâ€) the developers and database administrators on my team were going to have to work this weekend. I would not have been needed… technical skills were needed, not managerial. But I’ve long felt that I should never ask someone I supervise to do something that I would not do, so I planned to come in to ‘be there’ and work on other projects. Although everyone on my team would get overtime pay, because of my job class I would not. So I was feeling rather pissy and sorry for myself. And then I thought about my job, my pay, my benefits, and the fact that at my age I could NEVER find another job as good as the one that I have. So I got some good attitude, worked hard, had some great interactions with my staff and went home feeling that I had really accomplished something today. Sometimes, you really need to take a few moments to reflect and appreciate what you have.
Originally Posted By SuperDry What a great post. I think you're right. Somehow, this reminds me of something that happened to me once at a slot machine in Las Vegas (bear with me!). Actually, it was video poker. It was one of those multi-denominational machines where you can choose 5 cents, 10 cents or 25 cents. I was playing 5 cents, and had won enough that they had to come over and reset the machine. The change lady looked at it and said "Wow, if you only had been betting 25 cents" just kind of passively. I responded quite honestly "I'm thankful for what I have." She just lit up. She said something that led me to believe she was rather religious, and probably sees a lot of the bad side of people (specifically regarding greed) working in a casino. She just seemed delighted and a bit surprised that a customer was happy with what they had and wasn't disappointed in thinking how much more they could have won. It's maybe not the best example, and certainly not as profound as what RT said. But I've been wanting to share this for awhile.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo It's true folks. I work really long hours and like Trippy, do not get paid extra for it. But I still see my family more often than I used to (working from home may mean a 12 hour work day, but I still have meals as a family, put the kids to bed, and snuggle my wife most evenings. Attitude makes a real difference. And just think Trippy, you didn't have to be there, but you probably got better performance and morale out of your team. Well done.
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost I certainly agree with the preceding posts, however, like in the case of RoadTrip, his extra hours were self imposed. I myself have put in many hours that were not, technically, demanded and I never have regretted that. The problem is when your employer sees how you do things and then starts to expect that all the time. One such employer, when approached for some comp. time from those of us that had been putting in an "average" of 55 hours per week and being paid for 40, flatly stated that if we had been regularly working 55 hours per week, then that was our base time and no time off would be recognized against it. (sorry for the long sentence) The only motivation I received from that was that I now work 40 hours per week and if asked to do more I make it clear that this is a favor to the company and that I am donating my time. Nicely, of course! Granted I am swiftly approaching retirement and am no longer on a career track. I no longer care, especially if the people I have been busting my hump for do not appreciate my efforts or make me feel like I am not an important enough part of the organization to warrant any special consideration. If I am not needed or contribute then get rid of me. So, I do appreciate the job that I have but there is a limit to how much of a carpet I will be for any job. I also realize that Roadie was not referring to that scenario but I guess I needed to vent. I hate being used.
Originally Posted By SuzieQ Very nice post, RoadTrip. My husband manages DBA's and developers, as well. Poor project planning/management that is outside of your control can really cause some stressful times for your team. And you. My husband has been in your situation many times. Way to go on giving yourself an attitude adjustment!
Originally Posted By vbdad55 yep still working long hours also -- but like dave I work from home mostly so there is a certain amount of perk there. AS i worked my way up through the ladder, I worked 60+ hour weeks for years. It resulted in promotions and a career today that like Trippy, I doubt I can recreate on the outside because being 50+ it is not a seller market out there - I don't regret any of it as I grew up with iterally nothing, and I have been able to provide a good life for my family, and a good strat for generations to come for them ( I hope )- Yes it is a sacrifice, and no, the company does not appreciateit like they did 15 - 20 years ago....very few of those companies exist today...but that ius the landscape. I look at the alternatives and I am comfortable with my role -- when I get to the point where I feel I no longer want to do it anymore- I will leave and change my lifestyle to fit what I can afford -- until then --Trippy you are right on, sometimes we don't take time to appreciate what we have when we have it.
Originally Posted By wahooskipper This is a timely topic RT...thanks for bringing it up. I'm currently debating a career move that would keep me in South Florida but would change my surroundings. The upside is that the place I would go is on the move with great growth potential, lots of resources and they are making no secret that they'd like me to come aboard. The upside to staying is I currently work very close to home which affords me a much greater opportunity to spend with the family...and isn't that what it is all about. I think I'm going to end up appreciating what I have because the grass ain't always greener (particularly when you are in a drought).
Originally Posted By DVC_dad <<<The only motivation I received from that was that I now work 40 hours per week and if asked to do more I make it clear that this is a favor to the company and that I am donating my time. >>> It is probably fortunate that you are close to retirement. If you were a little younger and trying to make your way up the corporate ladder, you could well likly get labeled as a non-company man, and be stagnated. I'm not saying that you never say "no." But...
Originally Posted By DVC_dad <<< "I'm thankful for what I have." >>> That THAT, SuperDry, is the true secret to real happiness.
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost >>>It is probably fortunate that you are close to retirement. If you were a little younger and trying to make your way up the corporate ladder, you could well likly get labeled as a non-company man, and be stagnated. I'm not saying that you never say "no." But...<<< Yes, I do understand that this is the case. I would be much more careful if this was the beginning or middle of my career but it isn't and I will no longer do just anything to get ahead. I spent many a 70 hour week at work in my youth. I look back and when I can't remember when my kids were certain ages because I never saw them it makes me sad then angry with myself for letting that happen. I was always at work. I regret not saying no earlier. I have found that I have always been able to support myself and just like the corporate attitude that everyone is replaceable, every job is also replaceable. I have worked hard and loyally all my career. I owe no one anything but sadly I feel that some of them owe me. I developed a less then perfect attitude in my later career because it became increasingly clear that in this age of outsourcing and down sizing..loyalty only goes one way and that is toward the almighty corporation. We, as people are only removable cogs in the structure. Those that have maintained their positions for many years have done so because they were smart and provided a needed service and worked in a company that had some heart and most importantly worked in a company that hadn't yet figured out how to outsource their job. I am so happy that I am close to retirement. Even if I have to start eating Alpo, I don't think I could last much longer in this world of ungrateful and, in some cases, downright stupid leaders. I am always telling those that don't understand...No one lying on their death bed ever said, "Gee, I wish I had spent more time at the office".
Originally Posted By DVC_dad I am a stay-home dad now. I'm not particularly proud of that, and I certainly don't proclaim it as a badge of honor or anything. In fact I go through many bouts of guilt (as a man I should be making money), loneliness (I often don't leave my house during the summer for 2 or 3 days at a time and have no adult interaction), and jealousy, (I should have gotten a more advanced education, something professional). But alas, I know that our set-up is for the best, I have 5 boys, and 1 girl to turn into "big-hitters" in life. I am glad you brought up this subject too Trippy. I'd like to weigh in... (which shouldn't be a surprise as I can be somewhat overly verbose from time to time, sorry in advnace for this.) I just got back from my family doctor, and it turns out that the last three weeks of me thinking I have "just a bad summer cold," are actually a raging case of Strep Throat and Walking Pneumonia. Who'da thunk? As I sat there in the office and processed the information, I began to realize I was looking at my doctor like maybe she was green and had just landed from Mars. I caught myself saying, "I can't be sick, I have 6 kids!" Then in the next brainless wave of higher reasoning of which only humans are capable, I thought, "I have put my kids and family at risk because I was too stubborn to just go to the doctor." Finally, as she was explaining that I would be getting a chest x-ray, a breathing treatment of albuterol, some new super-powered antibiotic, a shot in the hip of blah blah blah... (Charlie Brown's Teacher sounds come to mind)... Finally after all of that "stuff" was over, I left her office feeling really good, because after all, all I could think about was the health risk to my kids. Then I realized that maybe I should be concerned with my own health. Then, the kicker came to mind... I thought, "Wow what if something really serious were wrong and my family was going to have to prepare to go at life without me?" (okay this may seem very prideful at first glance, but think about it, 6 kids, my wife doesn't do ANY cooking, NO laundry, No school related activities, and that's the way it should be as our roles are reversed. It would be tough without ol' dad.) And finally I settled in with something like, "You know what, this ain't so bad. I am really grateful for what I have, and am somewhat ashamed that it took a visit to the doctor of all things to help me realize it." I just hope my pneumonia doesn't take the same route your's did a while back Trippy. But then it really shouldn't as I am so much younger and all, than you. ;P
Originally Posted By DVC_dad <<<I look back and when I can't remember when my kids were certain ages because I never saw them it makes me sad then angry with myself for letting that happen. I was always at work. I regret not saying no earlier. I have found that I have always been able to support myself and just like the corporate attitude that everyone is replaceable, every job is also replaceable.>>> Now THIS is something that I have a great deal of respect for you on Goofy, not that you need or want MY respect but just saying...
Originally Posted By RoadTrip <<Those that have maintained their positions for many years have done so because they were smart and provided a needed service and worked in a company that had some heart and most importantly worked in a company that hadn't yet figured out how to outsource their job.>> That is why I've always enjoyed working for the University, even though they pay their IT people considerably less than they could make in private industry. My job for the most part is a 40 hour per week job, and I don't think I could ever give that up. I work so I have the money to enjoy my non-work time. If I had no non-work time what would be the point? The University does have heart and they will not outsource their jobs. You will never get rich there, but it is a darned nice place to work.
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost >>>My job for the most part is a 40 hour per week job, and I don't think I could ever give that up. I work so I have the money to enjoy my non-work time. If I had no non-work time what would be the point?<<< That is exactly where I am at. My kids have grown up and married, my wife left about 7 years ago. All I have left to worry about is myself. I work so that I can afford to enjoy my leisure time and to put money aside so I can enjoy my retirement time. Now all I have to do is live long enough to do that and I will be a happy and contented man. Being, for lack of a better word, obstinate in my old age hasn't really harmed me in my present career. Fortunately, I work for people that see older people in the work force as a positive thing and I feel that I get respect and am appreciated. Something I never felt in my earlier years. That is a nice thing but I have made it clear that my days of giving away my services so the CEO can have more money to give himself as a bonus are done. If that means not being able to stay on..oh, well, I do not have that sense of need that I once had. I realize that this is because of my time in life. I don't have the responsibility of raising and supporting a family now. I have done that. Now I want to spend time with my adult children and my grandchildren and that is what I intend to do until I draw my last breath or they tell me to hit the trail.
Originally Posted By vbdad55 ^^^^^^^^^^ makes sense -- wish I was there but even after 30 years in the biz - I have a 12 year old to care for at home yet - so I will be working ( and working ) for quite a while yet -- but come 62 --I'm done period --
Originally Posted By sherrytodd I so wish I could say this, but I've been having a hard time of it lately. I feel like it's too late to change the direction I've gone and I feel like I'm living someone else's life and not mine. I'm so thankful for my son and would not give that up for anything. And I know I should be thankful for what I have. I just can't shake the feeling lately that I was meant to be somewhere different.
Originally Posted By wahooskipper I know how you feel sherry. In fact...mine is a whopper. There have been several instances in my life when I felt there was a "calling". Mostly I ignored them. When I went to Italy back in April I had three very specific yet different "callings" that were almost screaming in my face. I'm a happily married man with two young children and there is no earthly reason I should answer this particular call...but I can't seem to shake it. The only thing I can do is have faith that the message will become more clear to me when the time is right.
Originally Posted By mele <<Strep Throat and Walking Pneumonia>> Yikes, that is awful. I hope you are feeling better soon, DVC.
