Originally Posted By Rex62 What is one line you wait for the boat driver to say when your aboard the Jungle cruise.Watch out for Ginger she snaps but she is a good cookie.there are many others.Trader sam and his deal one of your heads for two of his.
Originally Posted By SleepingBeauty82 I love it when they throw in new material. They do it so rarely that I can't remember a specific one. I loved it the time when had the best older lady ever as a skipper and she said "Who here thinks the rule that the Captain goes down with the ship should always apply?" My fiance raised his hand. She said "Sir, what's your name?" He said "Evan" she said "Ladies and gentleman, Captain Evan!" and she kept mentioning Captain Evan for the rest of the trip. It was great! He turned red.
Originally Posted By FerretAfros I heard a great one (possibly my all time favorite) on a trip with a skipper who had some issues, but there were a bunch of great jokes as well. Just before African Veldt scene: "I'd like to take a moment to point out this sandstone formation, as most people just take it for granite. Oh, come on, you guys can laugh, that joke rocks!" Another one that I really liked I heard in HKDL, where the script was completely different to avoid English-based wordplay, since most of the people on the English speaking boats were non-native English speakers. As we were going through some temple ruins: "Let's take a moment and see if we can find all four giant spiders. (pointing at spiders on ruins) There's one...number two is over there...three is us here...I wonder what happened to the fourth one...(pointing inside the boat at the floor) Oh my gosh!!! I love your shoes." I also had a guy who did a really great deadpan awkwardness through the whole ride. I can't think of anything he said in particular, but he did acknowledge the awkwardness of it a couple times, which just made it that much more fun.
Originally Posted By grlweatswchpstx Awkwardness was my favorite play when I worked there. I enjoyed "Well folks, we've just turned down the Nile.. it was way too loud" And from Florida's "Oh no, a plane crash in the jungle.. that can only mean one thing... hippos!"
Originally Posted By Figurehead When we were there at the beginning of the month we went on it 4 times, 4 different skippers, and everyone was exactly the same. Sad. When we went the last time 4 years agor we went on it at night and when we got to the "back side of water" the skipper turned the lights on & off and hummed the theme to Fantasmic. We LOVED that.
Originally Posted By crazycroc "Bill will help you exit by the rear, and that's why he can't work with children anymore."
Originally Posted By Dabob2 Sometimes it's not what they say but how they say it. Not long after Captain Eo opened, we got a hilarious skipper who was just riffing on Michael Jackson the whole trip. He started with "Okay, everyone. Look back and wave goodbye to the people on the dock. You may never see them again. Or, as Captain Eo would say," (in Michael Jackson voice), "'Okay, everyone. Look back and wave goodbye to the people on the dock. You may never see them again.'" It was such a dead-on Michael Jackson impersonation that everyone was hysterical laughing. And he went back and forth between his normal voice and his Jackson voice, and it was just great. I don't remember too many other lines, but I do remember at the gorilla he said "Ooooh! It's Bubbles' big brother, everybody!!" and of course everybody lost it.
Originally Posted By MomluvsDisney I admit that the Jungle Cruise hits my corny-o-meter hard and I love all the lines! I love the elephant joke "Here is an African Bull Elephant, the second most feared animal in the jungle. Here is the first most feared animal, his mother-n-law." I have always loved the jokes about the lost safari and the "Rhino getting his point across in the end". I also like the line at the african village when the captain will translate what the natives are saying as they dance..."Hold on a sec, I will translate for them....uh uh...mmm...uh uh...Put you left foot in, put your left foot out.."
Originally Posted By FerretAfros I also really like the one at the very end, as you are exiting the boat. "Watch your step and watch your head. If you miss your step and hit your head, watch your mouth, there are kids around." That one works particularly well when said semi-monotone and fairly quickly. I always love when the skippers tell jokes that just fly over people's heads.
Originally Posted By tynkrbell1977 I love all the lines but my all time fave is always "The backside of water! o2h, Dont try this at home or you may hit your head on the back of the sink" LOL
Originally Posted By Kimber I love all of the references to the "job" - "And here's something that you don't get to see every day - but, I do" or - "Remember that three tucans make a six-pack - like the sixer I have waiting for me in the fridge when my shift is over..." Funny and "inside" Disneyland at the same time. Kim
Originally Posted By KittyPrincess1206 Love the backside of water joke, I actually have the backside of water picture as my wallpaper on my cell! I lso love the Tiger one, how they can jump 25 feet, but don't worry folks, we're only 20 feet away! HAHA!!
Originally Posted By RockyMtnMinnie The funniest JC joke I heard was not an official one. The skipper came up to the attacking natives driving very slowly talking about the plant life while they were attacking, than she said "Hey! Not my boat!" The natives stopped because they were resetting. Than she said, "Now go back and hide for the next boat." The natives ducked back down behind the bushes.
Originally Posted By Jim in Merced CA 'Back side of water' is one of my personal favorites. When we passed the falls the first time, I enjoyed this one... "He it is folks, world famous Schweitzer Falls, named after that world famous philosopher -- Dr. Albert Falls."
Originally Posted By rockcow1 Last time I was there, my favorite was when the skipper got the gun out to scare the hippos. He said "I'll scare the hippos with this gun"...and then waived the gun toward the hippos and said "Shoo Shoo".
Originally Posted By Hista98 One of my favorites was one time we went by the native village and the skipper said "let me translate what they are saying....we lost the bathroom key"!!! another good one is right before the gorilla's you see the gun shot hit the water. The skipper says "oh uh, that sounds dangerous,lets get closer"
Originally Posted By sjdimon I always like the line about the waterfall itself - something like - and here we have beautiful Schweitzer Falls, named after that famous explorer, Dr Albert - Falls. Gets me every time!
Originally Posted By PhotoJoe We were there last Saturday and saw a unique moment. The Captain actually cracked himself up to the point he had to stop for a moment to regain his composure. We were approaching the hippos, he drew his pistol and "click, click". EMPTY. He forgot to re-load it. He then stated, "That should do it, they're terrified of the clicking sound". The boat laughed so hard, he caught a bad case of the giggles for a few seconds. VERY funny!
Originally Posted By MousieRoo I like it when they shoot up in the air at the hippo pool and then say "Well, I missed the one in the water, but I got the one hiding in the tree!" Also at the end I have heard "Bye, now... bye, now... by now you should be off my boat..." and "Get off! Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me. Please, Get Off.
