Originally Posted By avromark * "Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640k of ram!?" -- Bill Gates, 1981 * "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 * "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." --Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 * "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957 * "But what ... is it good for?" --Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip. * "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." --Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 * "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." --Western Union internal memo, 1876. * "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" --David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s. * "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." --A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.) * "Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" --H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927. * "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." -Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind." * "A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make." --Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies. * "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." --Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962. * "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." --Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895. * "Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy." --Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859. * "Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." --Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929. * "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." --Marecha Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre. * "Everything that can be invented has been invented." --Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899. * "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction". --Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872 * "The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon". --Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873. 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble- shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels. 4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies. 5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room. 6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key. 7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually. 8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally. 9. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse. 10. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?" 11. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?" Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?" Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?" Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '24X' on it." At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off.
Originally Posted By alexbook LOL I've seen most of these before. I always wonder how many of them are urban legends. Then again, I worked in the computer industry long enough to find most of them at least plausible. ----- One of my favorites (I may have posted in before) which I know happened, because the tech rep was at the next desk to me at the time: Tech rep: "Are you in DOS?" Customer: "No, I'm in Houston."
Originally Posted By avromark alex when I was in college and doing tech support you would have loved some of my calls. The sad thing is you could usually guess the outcome of calls within 20 seconds. It'll take this long, the person won't believe it may be because of problem X on their equipment, they'll want to speak to a sup within X minutes... I hated that job, I like my part time sys admin job now so much better Of course I'd rather do design ("engineering") That said I actually prefer my hospital job (which pays better and is full time)
Originally Posted By gaydsnywitch Ahh, that takes me back to my tech support days. More than once, I encountered users experiencing the eye dee ten tee error. (If you don't know what that error is, write out the number and letter that correspond to the sounds.)
Originally Posted By alexbook When I did tech support, I would answer most questions with "The answer is on page [such-and-such] of the manual. Have you read it? No? Read it and call me back." I'd give my direct extension, so they could get back to me personally, but very few of them did.
Originally Posted By avromark Sorry it's not working... Ok let's plug it in? Why? Because if you connect all your cables it will work... Hey I'm still scaping off the liquid paper from my monitor when I corrected my last post. We all know the problem exists between the keyboard and...
