Originally Posted By RoadTrip Rosie's situation had deteriorated rapidly. When the home-health-care nurse was here last Thursday she asked me if I could hold her hand while the nurse gave her a shot and put her to sleep. It broke my heart. I told her it would be illegal and just was not possible. I took her to the ER and she was admitted to the hospital later that day. Unfortunately the options available are just not that good. She would have no problem staying in the hospital until she died, but present insurance guidelines make that just about impossible. There is no residential hospice care available in Branson or Springfield... just home hospice. Neither of us feels that her needs can be adequately attended to at home. Going to a nursing home is an option, but not one she would prefer. The nursing home option is probably the one we will go with. I'm not sure if our medical insurance would cover that or not. I know they don't cover long-term care; whether or not they would cover short-term hospice care is something I'm having the hospital's social worker look into. In the final analysis the expense would not be an issue. Rosie has enough funds in a health-care savings account that we could cover the expense for many more months than she is likely to live. Ending her life that way would certainly not be her first choice. I know this issue is terribly loaded with political and religious issues (which is why I posted in WE). But what do you think? Do we need additional end-of-life options available to terminally ill patients?
Originally Posted By a goofy guy First off I just want to say that my heart is just aching for you. I was so interested in what you had to say in your topic since you are going through this. All I can give you is my personal opinion. I believe that God will take her in His time and that it should not be messed with. So no; I don't think there should be more options to assisted suicide.
Originally Posted By Mr X ***But what do you think? Do we need additional end-of-life options available to terminally ill patients?*** I personally believe it's a private decision that should be left up to the person, or if that's impossible the persons' immediate family. No one else, and that includes the state. Hearing your story only reinforces my belief, since it's obvious that you are both struggling mightily with this heart wrenching ordeal and wish your options weren't so limited. I do continue to hope that this will somehow work out as well as can be for you guys, and I feel awful that one of our LP friends is going through this! All the best from us folks over here in Japan, Jerry, to you and your wife and your family. Take care. Dave
Originally Posted By hopemax Jerry, I am so sorry that you and Rosie are having to deal with these topics. My heart breaks for both of you. My "home" state, Washington, is one of 2 states that allows choice in end-of-life decisions for terminal patients. There was an article in the Seattle Times recently that said that about 30 people have requested the prescription, only about a dozen have actually used it since the law went into effect 6 months ago. Like abortion, ideally I would like it to be available but not chosen. This is another area where health care reform would help. Cost shouldn't be part of the equation. Families shouldn't be put in a position where caring for a loved one in their final days might bankrupt those left behind.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip I could never make that decision for Rose. But if she made it, I don't think I would try to stand in her way. She has always been fiercely independent and proud of her ability to get things accomplished. Her current condition is really tough on her. I've had to beg her to let her friends and family visit... she doesn't want anyone to see her in her present state. If I were in her situation I don't know what I'd do. :-(
Originally Posted By imadisneygal Jerry, I am sending a big hug to you and Rosie. I don't have the right words but hopefully you're feeling the love and support from your LP family.
Originally Posted By SuperDry OMG RoadTrip, I don't even know where to start. I'm so sorry to hear about your current situation. The obvious answer to your question is "Of course, yes." We as a society and as individuals need as many options as possible to deal with these situations. If you need someone to talk to, my email address is in my profile.
Originally Posted By beamerdog RT, I'm so sorry to hear of Rosie's current condition. Every single individual has different beliefs and feelings about this decision. I have gone through this with my Dad, and, having diabetes since 1949, I have thought about this around, over and through. If you'd like to talk, please email me. My addie is in my profile.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip Yes, she is on a morphine pump, a Fentanyl patch and Marinol (pharmaceutical THC).
Originally Posted By RoadTrip ^^^ By keeping her just this side of being in a coma they can keep her RELATIVELY free of pain. But is that living? My darling wife, in most respects, died 2-3 weeks ago. Now she is a body kept in a drug-induced stupor just waiting to pass on. I still spends hours every day talking to her, kissing her forehead and cheeks (things touching her lips tend to make her nauseous) and telling her how much I love her. I really don't know how much of it gets through.
Originally Posted By Mr X Oh, man. I hope at least that there are others helping you in the house right now? I'd be happy to give you a call if you'd like some company (I'm great for the midnight-8am shift being from the future and all ). Let me know if so, jammindave@hotmail.com (don't feel any obligation to write though, of course, whatever is easiest for ya).
Originally Posted By RoadTrip I will email you tomorrow. I am meeting with people tomorrow to try and find out what my options are. Right now Rose is in the hospital, and I need to find SOME way to get her the around the clock care she needs after she is dismissed. Staying at home with a home health care nurse checking on her twice a week just isn't a viable option any more. My daughter has been here a couple of times in the past month and is flying down again next week. My sister was here two weeks ago and two of Rosie's sisters were here for a few days last week. So I am getting help. Just not the full time professional care for Rosie that I need.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan I am so sorry for you and Rosie, RT. Prayers and good thoughts being sent your way. As to the topic, yes, I believe there should be additional end of life options.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Oh Jerry, I really have been thinking about you guys lately. We went through similar situations with both of my grand parents. My heart goes out to you both and I want you to know that there are a whole load of us here that are here to give you any support you need. It is similar here in the UK, the choices are nursing home or home, maybe the hospital. There are also some Hospices dependent on where you live. Again, I am very pro choice on this one, I do think the option should be there for the patient (who when they are of sound mind and body can give instructions on what to do). The difficulty is for those who believe in christian doctrines are concerned that this is suicide and therefore means the soul would not go to heaven. I do think that many parts of religion are mythological, but I also try to keep an open mind. I only answered this in respect of answering a question you have raised. But for me, I just want to give you a cyber hug Jerry. I know we have not always seen eye to eye, but I have always respected you, and I really wish we could do more for you guys. All our love, the Baloos.
Originally Posted By Mr X ***The difficulty is for those who believe in christian doctrines are concerned that this is suicide and therefore means the soul would not go to heaven.*** If there really IS a God out there and He is a compassionate being, this is absolutely a non-issue, PARTICULARLY in the case we're discussing here. Would God really insist that Rosie (and Jerry) suffer so much more just to please Him after such a long struggle? I'm sure down to my very core that He would NOT. ***I only answered this in respect of answering a question you have raised. But for me, I just want to give you a cyber hug Jerry. I know we have not always seen eye to eye, but I have always respected you, and I really wish we could do more for you guys.*** Well said, Dave. I (and so many others) feel the same way right now!).
Originally Posted By Mr X Geez...I feel as though I opened up a can of worms on this one... Anyone who wants to argue or complain about my thoughts in post 18, please don't. Or at least, start a new topic or something of you really must. It doesn't need to end up with 100 posts here, please.
Originally Posted By SingleParkPassholder RT, my heart goes out to you. We're going through similar issues with my father in law and his Alzheimer's right now, but I do not even want to imagine what it's like for you and your wife. Until people have been through this situation in some way, I think it would be very difficult to relate to it, even in a small way. Yes, I think there should be alternative end of life options. With my father in law, seeing him being being taken over by Alzheimer's, well, it just isn't fair what that disease does. Cancer has its own way of stealing a person's soul. It things were just, rather than drag it out, people would just fall asleep and not wake up. It's funny. Very recently, I put thousands of dollars into my cat due to a bout of severe anemia . He's recovering so far, but at one point, I was thisclose to putting him down. I had reconciled myself to the idea long ago that doing that was the last act of compassion I could show my cat, even though he apparently wasn't in pain. It boggles the mind we're not allowed a process that allows us to do so for ourselves.
