Originally Posted By pennyring This is the thread to share advice and wisdom that you have gained the hard way. Don't ask me how I know, but you should never buy a heavy market umbrella for your cheap plastic outdoor picnic table. Don't ask me how I know, but you may end up flat on your back on the deck with pieces of said cheap plastic outdoor picnic table in shards around you, with the lovely, but extremely heavy market umbrella on your chest.
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter LOLOLOL!! Oh, what a great visual! And a great idea for a thread. I'm sure I'll have several extremely humiliating bits of wisdom to offer up as soon as I have a chance to think about it.
Originally Posted By threeundertwo If you're driving the tour bus for the nursing home, and it's parked in a remote corner of the parking lot with no other cars around, after you load all the folks in wheelchairs in for a tour of Las Vegas, you should look over your shoulder JUST ONE MORE TIME to see if anybody has suddenly decided to park their brand-new Jaguar behind you there in that remote empty corner of the parking lot.
Originally Posted By threeundertwo You know those big Stitch antenna toppers they used to sell, where Stitch looked like he was pretending to bite your antenna? Well if you actually put that on your antenna and drove down I5, that thing was heavy enough to actually cause your antenna to break after all the bobbing back and forth. Don't ask me how I know.
Originally Posted By pennyring I always worried about that Stitch antenna topper... And oh my, I hope the Jaguar owner had good insurance. Eek!
Originally Posted By shortiemetoo Don't ask me how I know...but when you are making cheese crisps in the oven, don't forget to turn on the fan above the stove!! I hate smoke alarms!
Originally Posted By friendofdd Don't ask me how I know, but, if you've neglected to chock you wheels and the camping trailer decides to travel from the pad into the blackberry patch, you can't stop it by grabbing the hitch.
Originally Posted By threeundertwo When you plan really carefully to have exactly two children exactly two years apart, God will laugh out loud. Don't ask me how I know.
Originally Posted By goodgirl <<you can't stop it by grabbing the hitch.>> What a visual, friendofdd!! I'm sorry but I have to laugh at that one!
Originally Posted By Lisann22 Then you are on the side of a MOUNTAIN and you see a wood retainer on the side, don't get the wise idea that if you pull real close to it, you can back up real tight down the narrow driveway without the wood retainer falling over and your rear wheel hanging over the side of the MOUNTAIN.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 Don't ask me how I know that the huge YoYo outside Ripley's Believe It or Not in SF, will roll down the street if you push it hard enough.
Originally Posted By idleHands When you think it's too early for any living creature other than desert wildlife to be up and about and you want to read the morning newspaper with your morning coffee so you open the front door of your Scottsdale resort casitas wearing nothing but your new suntan... you will surely discover the gardener watering the plants in the entry patio, five feet in front of you. Don't ask me how I know!
Originally Posted By JustDuckee Do not lay an old waterbed mattress by the side of the pool, fill it halfway with water, lay on one end, and have two large, very drunk men hurl themselves onto the opposite end in an attempt to catapult the victim into the water...the cement siding on the pool is always just that much too close.
Originally Posted By goodgirl Never substitute Dawn liquid dishwashing soap in your dishwasher when you are all out of regular dishwasher detergent. Unless of course you *want* to make a room full of soap bubbles.
Originally Posted By MissCandice Don't ask me how I know but dislocating a knee because you tripped on a sock on the floor of your bedroom is an embarrassing story to tell the emergency room doctor.
Originally Posted By Ursula Don't ask me how I know, but if you put a Q-Tip in your ear and twirl it deep enough, the emergency room doctor will ask your mother how it got in there so deep.
Originally Posted By -em Don't ask me how I know that when you drive into a tree its always the largest one for miles around...
