Originally Posted By trailsend Dear Dog & Cat... The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. 5. Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: a. eat less, b. don't ask for money all the time, c. are easier to train, d. usually come when called, e. never drive your car, f. don't hang out with drug-using friends, g. don't smoke or drink, h. don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, i. don't wear your clothes, j. don't need gazillion dollars for college, k. if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
Originally Posted By Elderp "k. if they get pregnant, you can sell their children." That is just wrong.
Originally Posted By Elderp It's ok. I'm sorry if I sounded condeming. I actually was totally laughing when I read that post. Problem is being a discussion board you can't really see my facial expressions.
Originally Posted By LadyKluck >>>Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:<<< I actually have this part on my fridge and so does my mom!! (Not that it would suprise any of you I'm sure.)
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Oh, yeah! We have recently ventured back into the world of being owned by a cat (on a trial basis, provided Mr. Glitter's allergies can withstand one as opposed to the five we had when he became allergic). I swear, this kitty is almost as much work as my kids were when they were babies. It's a challenge domesticating a stray, but he's such a basically sweet boy, we're persevering.
Originally Posted By Liberty Belle I need to put the rules for non-pet owners up when my cousin and her idiot husband come over! They don't seem to understand that I'm far more fond of my poodles than of them.
Originally Posted By Tandelothien >>I need to put the rules for non-pet owners up when my cousin and her idiot husband come over! They don't seem to understand that I'm far more fond of my poodles than of them. << Our problem is my uncles kids are too fond of our cats and terrorize the poor things in their effort to "cuddle" them :S
