Originally Posted By threeundertwo Top 100 Facts About Three Undertwo 1. Three Undertwo can delete the Recycling Bin. 2. Three Undertwo beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL. 3. Three Undertwo can speak braille. 4. Three Undertwo sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off. 5. Three Undertwo does not sleep. She waits. 6. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Three Undertwo. 7. Whenever Three Undertwo plays Chutes and Ladders, she treats the chutes as ladders, because she's not some sissy who can't climb up a plastic slide. 8. When Three Undertwo deletes files from her computer, she doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. She sends them to hell. 9. Three Undertwo can slam revolving doors. 10. Superman owns a pair of Three Undertwo pajamas. 11. Three Undertwo and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants. 12. Three Undertwo was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds. 13. On her birthday, Three Undertwo randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. 14. Giraffes were created when Three Undertwo uppercutted a horse. 15. World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Three Undertwo ate Kobayashi. 16. Three Undertwo sleeps with a night light. Not because Three Undertwo is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Three Undertwo 17. The movie Ray is loosely based on the life of Three Undertwo, only they substituted piano playing for eating toddlers, and blindness for the ability to fly. 18. Three Undertwo died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell her. 19. Three Undertwo is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why she can only kick through doors. 20. Three Undertwo has the heart of a child. She keeps it in a small box. 21. Three Undertwo counted to infinity - twice. 22. The last man who made eye contact with Three Undertwo was Ray Charles. 23. Three Undertwo destroyed the periodic table, saying Three Undertwo only recognizes the element of surprise. 24. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Three Undertwo could use to kill you, including the room itself. 25. Three Undertwo can kill two stones with one bird. 26. Three Undertwo was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. 27. Three Undertwo always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer. 28. Three Undertwo's dog is trained to pick up her own poop because Three Undertwo will not take crap from anyone. 29. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Three Undertwo can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck she wants. 30. On a high school math test, Three Undertwo put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. She got an A+ on the test because Three Undertwo solves all her problems with Violence. 31. The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Three Undertwo's basement was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox. 32. If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Three Undertwo laughing at you. 33. Three Undertwo puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". 34. Three Undertwo owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped her win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite her holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. 35. Three Undertwo once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. 36. Three Undertwo became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she hates plants. 37. Three Undertwo's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Three Undertwo. 38. Three Undertwo was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain. 39. Three Undertwo can do a wheelie on a unicycle. 40. Circles exist because Three Undertwo beat the crap out of some squares. 41. Three Undertwo had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and anywhere Three Undertwo went the lamb was sure to go. So she killed it. 42. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Three Undertwo's house one Christmas. 43. Three Undertwo wears a cup not to protect herself, but to protect the players on the other team. 44. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Three Undertwo punched herself in the face. 45. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Three Undertwo and forgot to pay her back. 46. Getting murdered by Three Undertwo counts as a natural cause of death. 47. Three Undertwo irons her shirts while she's wearing them. 48. Onions do not make Three Undertwo cry. Three Undertwo makes onions crap themselves. 49. Weeping Willows are a result of Three Undertwo yelling at trees for not being tough enough. 50. Three Undertwo once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves. 51. When Three Undertwo plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on. 52. When Three Undertwo gets pulled over she lets the cop off with a warning. 53. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Three Undertwo is going to walk. 54. Three Undertwo doesn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings duck under Three Undertwo. 55. Once a cobra bit Three Undertwo's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. 56. Three Undertwo knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European). 57. Three Undertwo used to beat the crap out of her shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind her. 58. Three Undertwo is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs. 59. Three Undertwo can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. 60. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Three Undertwo allows to live. 61. What scientists thought was natural selection is actually only the continued survival of animals Three Undertwo has found too chewy to eat. 62. Three Undertwo invented black. In fact, she invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. 63. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Three Undertwo. 64. Three Undertwo once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give her a speeding ticket, however Three Undertwo still pleads her innocence to this day, stating that she was simply out for a morning jog. 65. Three Undertwo does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Three Undertwo goes killing. 66. Three Undertwo can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved. 67. When Three Undertwo goes to donate blood, she declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. 68. The only time Three Undertwo was wrong was when she thought she had made a mistake. 69. Crop circles are Three Undertwo's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down. 70. Three Undertwo once stated that she "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Three Undertwo was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on. 71. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Three Undertwo says its beef, then it's beef. 72. Three Undertwo doesn't read books. She stares them down until she gets the information she wants. 73. Three Undertwo doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers. 74. Three Undertwo is the only one who can "try this at home." 75. The word "gay" derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as "He who has not yet been introduced to Three Undertwo." 76. Three Undertwo does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever she goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever she leaves, she leaves a State of Destruction 77. When Three Undertwo gives you the finger, she's telling you how many seconds you have left to live. 78. Three Undertwo's blood type is WD-40. 79. Three Undertwo is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%. 80. If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bother, Three Undertwo wins. 81. Three Undertwo doesn't play "hide-and-seek." She plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you." 82. Three Undertwo is the reason why Waldo is hiding. 83. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Three Undertwo was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster. 84. Three Undertwo was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it. 85. Three Undertwo invented the hammer when she was tired of using her forehead to slam nails into wood. 86. You are what you eat. That is why Three Undertwo's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children. 87. Three Undertwo can predict the shuffle on her iPod. 88. Three Undertwo has beat the crap out of so many people over her brilliant life that most medical journals now classify her as a laxative. 89. When Three Undertwo enters a room, she doesn't turn the lights on, she turns the dark off. 90. Three Undertwo can watch a season of "24" in just three hours. 91. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Three Undertwo and that you will be handicapped if you park there. 92. Only once has Three Undertwo ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah. 93. If Three Undertwo wants some shade, she stares the sun down until it eclipses. 94. Three Undertwo's family wraps her holiday presents in lead, so she can't see what's in them. 95. Three Undertwo can make a paraplegic run for her life. 96. Three Undertwo does not know where you live, but she knows where you will die. 97. Three Undertwo played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won. 98. Three Undertwo can tie her shoes with her feet. 99. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Three Undertwo has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. 100. Three Undertwo is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand. <a href="http://www.100factsabout.com/" target="_blank">http://www.100factsabout.com/</a>
Originally Posted By Tiggirl Ah... how I do love the wonderful Ms. Undtertwo. ) She always makes me smile! (In a fearful way of course.) ~Beth
Originally Posted By Ursula Buahahahahaha! 66. Three Undertwo can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
Originally Posted By christiemarsh88 I found this one especially interesting: 42. Three Undertwo wears a cup not to protect herself, but to protect the players on the other team. 2/3, is there something we should know? You should get in contact with Chuck Norris--sounds like you two have a lot in common.
Originally Posted By SoThisIsLove <<4. Three Undertwo sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off. 5. Three Undertwo does not sleep. She waits.>> I've only gotten this far, and I have to express my undying appreciation through laughter at this point! xoxo
Originally Posted By SoThisIsLove 56. Three Undertwo knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European). That's what I'm talkin' about....
Originally Posted By threeundertwo >> 81. Three Undertwo doesn't play "hide-and-seek." She plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you.">> My kids would agree with that one.
