Originally Posted By barboy Yep, I'm in deep water depending on how I play my cards on this one. I lost my wedding ring AGAIN!!!!. The first time happened 2 days after my wedding to my first wife. While snorkeling in Jamaica my ring came off and dropped maybe 40' into the coral reefs/ocean sands. I'm sure it's still at the bottom of the Atlantic. Last night my ring came off my necklace while I was out shopping. Since I wore a scarf I didn't notice until I got home that my necklace came unclasped. I have no interest in jewelry, none, especially bright gold and diamonds so naturally my ring was monetarily worthless--- just a silvery(I think 'white gold') banged up band but naturally it had a very real extrinsic value to me. Do I tell Wife and deal with the never ending wrath or do I go out and buy a lookalike and scuff it up and 'age' it---- she'd never know; no harm, no foul. I wish I had "MY PRECIOUS" back. Thoughts? Advice? Sincerely, Gollum
Originally Posted By disney pete tough call barboy i tried to put myself in your shoes and found a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other sorry i am of no help at all but let me know which way you sway good luck gollum.
Originally Posted By alphabetmom Fess up, sounds like you are upset by losing it anyways. She will she your pain, in the loss of the ring. She will understand, it is not like you did it on purpose. When you get a new band get a comfort fit band. It is a little more money but feels better and seems strudier. My husband crushed his original ring several times, we even had it rebuilt 3 times the last time adding more gold, ya ya, and still ended up mangled in short time and unwearable. He has had the comfort fit one for about 8 yrs now and hasn't crushed it once. I don't even know where the original one is now, and it had several small diamonds. But, now he can and does wear the plain band all the time.
Originally Posted By gottaluvdavillains I agree - just fess up. She will apreciate that it bothers you - and you honesty. I agree with abcmom - a comfort band would probably do you well.
Originally Posted By rockcow1 ^^ I agree. I think it would be worse if you didn't tell, replaced the ring and she found out at a later time. You never know you could slip and let it out. Then your in trouble for losing the ring AND lying about it. You could always get a ring tattoo!? Just kidding. Good luck!
Originally Posted By TINK-MOBILE If it was I that lost the ring I would my wife...perhaps you will find it together along the path you took, tell her. secrets can really come back and bite you in the butt..sometimes..I believe she would appreciate your honesty and integrity in letting her know the truth...I have lost and misplaced things and always tell my wife...we have found some and some we have not...hope it works out for you, your heart knows best...getting another one to-gether may be just what the doctor has ordered on this one...take care and by the way...Merry Christmas and We Hope you have a vERY hAPPY nEW yEAR. .bLESSINGS FROM THE TINK-MOBILE AND SNOW WHITE : ) : )
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost I'm so confused...ring, necklace, clasp...wth? Why wouldn't a ring (especially wedding) be on one's finger? Necklace? Don't even know what to ask? Not into jewelry yet wearing a necklace! All of a sudden I feel about 200 years old. What am I missing? Help me!
Originally Posted By SuperDry <<< Why wouldn't a ring (especially wedding) be on one's finger? Necklace? >>> The way I interpret it is that the ring dangles around his neck on a necklace. Barboy, your wife lets you get away with that? How does she wear hers? If on her finger, you don't get the "Well, if you're not going to wear yours, I'm not going to wear mine" treatment?
Originally Posted By Ursula Have you contacted lost and found wherever and all places where you were? And yeah, wear it on your finger next time.
Originally Posted By gadzuux Ive got a different plan. Yes, fess up - but do it as part of a larger agenda. Immediately move the topic from "dang - I lost the ring - again" to ... "going forward, I simply cannot trust myself to not lose valuable jewelry, and my natural inclination is not to unnecessarily decorate myself with ornaments - for reasons of humility and my generally humble nature - so I'm going to keep my valuables safe at home. I feel better about this already. Don't you?" Yeah - that'll work.
Originally Posted By gadzuux Seriously though - this could be your best course of action. Tell her that you're not a "jewelry" guy, never have been, and don't particularly feel comfortable wearing rings, watches, chains, earstuds, tats - whathaveyou. Hopefully, this 'rings true' to her and you're not all decked out head to toe in accessories. If that's the case - if you're truly not a jewelry wearing type, you don't HAVE to wear a wedding ring. Plenty of married men don't. It's sad that you lost the ring - again - but that doesn't mean that you don't respect and cherish your partner. The ring is just a symbol - nothing more. It's better to embrace reality, and the reality is that after losing two in a relatively short time period, you probably shouldn't wear one. She may well agree with you.
Originally Posted By mater4 Sorry to hear your trouble. I would definately let the wife know. Sure it may be upsetting at first but she will hopefully understand your situation. I was unable to replace my ring when I lost it because it was really expensive. I had no choice but to tell my DH and he was angry but was sympathetic as it was a painful loss for me.
Originally Posted By Mr X Tell her it was somehow stolen by a cheap transvestite midget hooker, but the details are foggy since you blacked out after the shots and quaaludes kicked in. Then, when she's good and steamed, laugh and tell her it's all a big joke. That way, when you tell the truth, it won't seem nearly as bad!
Originally Posted By Mr X ***Tell her it was somehow stolen by a cheap transvestite midget hooker, but the details are foggy since you blacked out after the shots and quaaludes kicked in.*** *sigh* boy I sure miss having WorldDisney living in Japan. That guy has the best (true) stories!
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight Buy some wedding ring stickers or get a wedding ring tattoo'd onto yer finger. ;-) Good luck!
Originally Posted By barboy I'm still alive and I fully appreciate all of the input by everyone. THANKS A MILLION!!! Some things to ponder: Wife does not typify the 'American' woman (does such a person exist.....a typical American woman???) since she feels and thinks differently due to her far East/SE Asian purity and cultural influence. Wife relies heavily on symbolism, signs and unspoken communication; she looks beyond what is tangibly and/or logically in front of her and will find 'messages' which the planets, God or nature(or who knows what else) leaves. It's been 7 years and I still don't really understand how it all works. What I do know is that Wife interpreted my ring that made its way to the bottom of the Caribbean so soon after the wedding vows as a sign that I should not have been married to my first wife; and here I just thought that the ring slipped off because my body--including digits-- shrank from spending an hr. snorkeling in a saline solution(the ocean)...Oh well, LOL I started to wear my ring on a basic necklace because: 1) I don't like the way rings look on fingers(any ring for that matter). Yes, I know that I am weird. 2) I hate, hate, HATE the way a ring feels on my finger. Early on I found myself constantly taking it off especially during sleeping times. I have never worn watches either for the same reason. 3) I stopped wearing my ring on my finger altogether a few years back for safety reasons(when I was buying rat shack residential homes to fix up and sell or hold as rentals I commonly used table saws/power tools, shovels and sledge hammers). Thus, the ring on the chain was born. My current wife has alway thought that I just didn't want to show people that I was married(now why would she think that?? hmmm??) but she never gave me too much grief since I assured her that it was because of reasons 1, 2 and 3. And yes she has said that she shouldn't have to wear her ring(always an empty threat)from time to time. But I say that is not entirely fair since she likes rings whereas I have an EXTREME physical aversion(and a pretty nasty mental block against the appearnce too) and that aversion has nothing to do with marriage nor my infinite love for her. Sincerely, The Hypocrite ps I did buy a lookalike today............ stay tuned
Originally Posted By beamerdog 1. Buy a better necklace with a better clasp. Have a jeweler put on a small safety chain like they put on women's bracelets. 2. My soon-to-be-ex husband had the same reasons as you to not wear a wedding band. Turned out he was a liar and a cheat. Not to say that he wouldn't have cheated with a band on his finger, but no wedding band (for whatever reason) gives a clear message to women, other than your wife, that you are available married or not. Good luck, barboy
Originally Posted By u k fan If it were up to me I'd fess up. I've always hated jewelry. I'm not married, but I do not relish the idea of a wedding ring at all. The nearest I come to jewelry currently are half a dozen beads on a cord that my neice gave me about 4 years ago. And I know your pain. I lost my Golden Doobie at DLP in the summer. I must have looked like a loon reporting a button as lost at City Hall!!!
Originally Posted By SingleParkPassholder Tell the truth. It's the only story you'll have to remember. Plus, hopefully she'll appreciate you respect her enough to tell the truth rather than try and fool her.
Originally Posted By iamsally re reason #2: Do you have to cut the tags out of your clothes? Just a curiosity as you sound like you have what is referred to as a *sensitive personality*. Something I studied in child development. If I see a kid squirming and scratching at circle time you can bet his mom refuses to cut out the tags. That goes along with not being able to stand things between fingers/toes. So I understand that. My husband did not have a wedding ring until our 30th anniversary. I had not worn one for many years as I had taken mine off to wash dishes and we had a house fire. I also acquired a new one on year 30. I don't think either one of us ever gave a thought to one of us *cheating* because we were not branded with a wedding band. All that said and I do not really know why. Tell her. If she is that superstitious; ask her why she thinks it happened. Then let her know if she is wrong. (Just a friendly suggestion, honest.) But I do not believe lies EVER benefit any relationship. Good luck. The relationship is in the heart; not the jewelry.
