Originally Posted By Donny If I have a underage child that lives with me should I legally be allowed to view his or her Text messages ? <a href="http://www.trivalleycentral.com/articles/2012/02/28/front/doc4f4d0e384573d685808270.txt" target="_blank">http://www.trivalleycentral.co...8270.txt</a>
Originally Posted By Labuda If you are the legal guardian and the child is 17 or younger and/or you pay the bill for their phone, yes. Otherwise, no.
Originally Posted By DyGDisney Underage kids don't have the same privacy rights we have. In school their lockers can be searched --- no warrant needed. I agree with Labuda, if it's your child and you pay the bill, then yes. I tell my dd it's my phone because I pay for it, she just gets to use it!
Originally Posted By wahooskipper If he is over 18 and I pay the bill...then yes. Otherwise...get a job and your own phone.
Originally Posted By skinnerbox Interesting, wahoo. Would you make the same argument for your unemployed spouse?
Originally Posted By TomSawyer Legally? Sure. Pragmatically? If you did a good job of raising your kid then you don't need to see them.
Originally Posted By imadisneygal I disagree that if you do a good job of raising your child then you don't need to supervise them past them turning 13. They are in no way adults yet and part of being a good, attentive parent is monitoring their behavior both online and on their phones. This is, of course, for minor children living in my house. If they are older than 18, paying for their own phone bill, etc., then that is a different matter.
Originally Posted By DyGDisney >>>They are in no way adults yet and part of being a good, attentive parent is monitoring their behavior both online and on their phones.<<< Yes, they can easily get in over their heads if not monitored to some degree.
Originally Posted By mele I think some parents will read all texts and emails no matter how well behaved their children are. I think that is wrong and intrusive. If your child is starting to misbehave, skip school, get into trouble, etc, then maybe it's more warranted. some parents want ultimate control...other parents just want to figure out how to help their children. I honestly don't think one group is more common than the other. Trust me, my mom did stuff like that and I wasn't doing anything wrong. She grounded me over petty things (like my friend making a joke about the word "penis" in a note after sex ed class...we were 14, for crying out loud). Hyper-managing your child can be just as damaging as neglecting them.
Originally Posted By Princessjenn5795 I would absolutely monitor my children's texts, but not to try to get them in trouble like mele described. My job as a parent is to make sure they are safe. With all of the technology and social media available to kids today, it is far too easy for people gain access to them. I will monitor their Facebook pages and e-mail and anything else they have. There was a story recently about a 16 year old who befriended someone on Facebook and began exchanging texts with him. After a couple of months he texted her about a party and told her she should come. He turned out to be a convicted rapist. When she showed up at the "party," she found and empty house. They found her body buried in a barrel in the backyard 3 months later. Unfortunately, that is something that parents have to think about now. I will not sneak into my kids accounts, or use what I find to get them in trouble. They will be told from the get go, as my 11-year-old step-daughter was when she set up her first email account a few months ago, that we will be checking in there once in a while and explain why. My husband, his ex-wife, her current husband, and I all have my step-daughter's password, and we check in. I do not feel the slightest bit guilty about it.
Originally Posted By SpokkerJones "Unfortunately, that is something that parents have to think about now. I will not sneak into my kids accounts, or use what I find to get them in trouble. They will be told from the get go, as my 11-year-old step-daughter was when she set up her first email account a few months ago, that we will be checking in there once in a while and explain why." If you're going to do it, this is the right way to go. You could get backlash for both methods, but the secretive way is probably going to breed more resentment. Having said that, I valued my privacy on the computer very much growing up. At one point I password protected everything and even took my power cables with me when I left the house most of the time. It was never questioned, so I can't tell you what my parents thought of it.
Originally Posted By Donny I think it's odd that my work can monitor my email with no problem but if a parent does it it's illegal. This needs to be fixed
Originally Posted By Princessjenn5795 It is not illegal for a parent to monitor their children's communications. It is illegal for the phone companies or companies like Yahoo or Google to give parents copies of what was sent without a court order or the content originator's (the child) permission. Your work can monitor your communications because they run the servers and you would have been told your communications may be monitored when you started working there. You continuing to work there implies consent. Your work could not, however, get transcripts of your personal e-mail from whichever company you use.
Originally Posted By TomSawyer Donny, you can monitor your kids email all you want. You can pick up their phones and look at their text messages. There's nothing at all in the law preventing you from doing that, even if your kids were grown ups. The bill in your original post concerns parents being able to get records from the phone company without a court order. Two different things.
Originally Posted By wahooskipper With my spouse I promised to share and share alike. I didn't make that same promise to my child. Too many parents want to be their kids' friends today. They need to be their kids' parents.
Originally Posted By skinnerbox <<With my spouse I promised to share and share alike. I didn't make that same promise to my child.>> But you were specifically referencing your child who was a legal adult, over the age of 18. You do not have the right to pry into his personal communications, even if he is living under your roof. That child has the same legal rights as your spouse. I find it somewhat disturbing that you have no problem respecting the rights of your spouse while at the same time not respecting the rights of your offspring, just because you didn't 'make a promise' to do. The promise is implied by virtue of your continuing care of him.
Originally Posted By TomSawyer Legal rights really don't come in to play - the Constitution applies between citizens and the government. It doesn't apply in personal relationships. I think it's a good lesson that if someone else is paying your bills then you don't have an expectation of privacy. That's how it works in the business world.
Originally Posted By wahooskipper If I am paying for the phone then it is my phone that I am loaning to him/her. I have every right, actually...a responsiblity, to make sure he/she isn't doing anything illegal with the phone. I have a job that I could easily lose if, for instance, he was setting up drug deals with the phone. Frankly, I love my children and I am hopeful they won't be relying on me significantly after 18 years of age. But, if they are, they certainly won't be taking advantage of me or my generosity.
