Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Just add one sentence per post to create the most totally awesomest graduation speech ever! I'll start... (insert microphone feedback sound here) Faculty, Parents, Family Members, Friends and Graduates, We are gathered here today, dressed in these heavy black robes under the blazing sun, to honor the men and women graduating from this fine institution of higher learning today...
Originally Posted By friendofdd We intend to ignore that dress codes are totally being ignored beneath the robes we all wear.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip Becasue it is not what is under the robes that is important, but what is in the graduates mind, heart and soul.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan When I look out at all of you I see the FUTURE -- and that image, friends, is what will cause me to awaken, screaming, tonight.
Originally Posted By sherrytodd Your faces show the glow of hope and optimism for a better world that you will create. That should be stamped out after your first week of work in the real world.
Originally Posted By friendofdd As you go out into the real world, pause to think of your parents. They will have to work well into retirement years to pay the second mortgage that financed your partying for the last six years.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip Those before you couldn't create a better world. Why on earth would you think that you could?
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan It is at this moment that I have the revealing a secret to you that many generations before you discovered upon leaving college: You've been PUNK'd. You will never, ever have an occassion that requires algebra. It's the longest-running prank in the history of mankind, and we trust that once you're over your shock, you'll continue The Algebra Scam with future generations.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip You want to know the most important things you learned in college? 1) How to wait in line. 2) How to deal with nasty service employees. You will be doing both of these things for the rest of your life. Get used to it.
Originally Posted By Ursula Your family has travelled for miles to see you graduate. They wore their finest clothing and some have had their hair done. Just for you. They will give you checks and gifts. Cherish this moment, put the checks in the bank. This will never happen again and you'll not get so much as a birthday card on your next birthday.
Originally Posted By mele As you head into the workforce, remember, most supervisors will promote you to another department just to get rid of you.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Remember to always, always follow your dreams, as long as they're not the ones about showing up at high school with no clothes on.
Originally Posted By friendofdd Those of you who are cheerleaders will now become stereotypical blonds.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip Those of you who were football players will watch your abs turn to flab.
Originally Posted By DlandDug And those of you who spent your years geekily hiding out in the library or science lab will be the managers and supervisors of the cheerleaders and football players, but you'll still be geeks.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Academic achievement is often its own reward and isn't about money, money, money... particularly for you liberal arts majors.
Originally Posted By DlandDug And don't think for a moment, not even a fleeting moment, that your alma matrer will ever forget you. No, as long as there's a postal service, we will send you regular letters and flyers, detailing the dull, mind numbing activities in which we will continue to engage, with enclosures begging you for a contribution.
