Originally Posted By Ursula I got a call about 2pm today that a friend and colleague was killed in a motorcycle accident today. I had worked with the guy for about four years, and even though he left our company a year ago, I still spoke with him professionally on a regular basis. I last spoke with him last week. I've been pretty much down and useless the whole rest of the day. He was young, just a few years older than me, and he had two older teenaged kids. He LOVED and owned those old-fashioned wooden boats, like the Cris-Craft type, you know, like the Breathless at Epcot? He also loved and had two exotic super large house-cats and would often email us current pictures of both of his "loves." I don't know his wife or family. I wish to attend the services, if any. Besides word-of-mouth, how does one go about finding out? I assume I can call his office on Monday. Do I send flowers or a plant? Do I tell his wife how much I enjoyed having him as a friend? He was cynical and fun all at the same time. Even my husband knew him as they worked together years ago. We were both shocked to hear the news. He was one of the few people who understood why my current employer was so maddening to me, as he was treated the same way. We would often talk about how soon I'm going to bail....and I would reply with "as soon as you hire me!" It was our joke. Thanks for letting me go on. Any advice on how to proceed with getting service information, I would greatly appreciate it. RIP RG
Originally Posted By EdisYoda My condolances to the loss of your friend Ursula. I'm not sure how you would go about asking where the service would be. But I would tell his wife.
Originally Posted By ajnhollysmommy Sorry to hear about your friend. If you can not get information from his office Look up the funeral homes in the area online. Most of the time they have info there, and you can even write a note to the family. I would send a plant. Something like Ivy works very well. And it will have meaning for a long time to the family member that takes it home after the services.
Originally Posted By mousegrl I'm so sorry, Ursula. I'm not sure about service information. Usually it's in the newspaper? My thoughts are with you.
Originally Posted By debtee So sorry to hear about your friend Ursula. I think his wife would take some comfort from knowing that you and your husband both knew him and really enjoyed the times you shared together. Sometimes it's the people you don't know in life, that can have the most impact at a time like this. Hugs!
Originally Posted By beamerdog So very sorry to hear about your friend. You've got some good advice here - can't add anything more.
Originally Posted By LuLu I'm so sorry Ursula. It sounds like you're allowing yourself time to grieve and heal, which is good. News like this is always a shocker. I agree that his family would LOVE to get a personal note from you and Buzz on how you enjoyed your friend. *hugs* to you!
Originally Posted By RAM1984 I am so sorry to hear this. It is always difficult to lose a friend and to have it be so sudden....... I am really sorry.
Originally Posted By ilvdland I'm so sorry to hear this - and I even TALKED to you and as usual, I didn't give you a chance to tell me!! Please call me if you need to talk about anything, and I agree with all the advice already given. I'm here for you if you need me!!!!
Originally Posted By DlandDug I am so sorry for your loss. please accept my sincerest condolences. Try looking for your friend's name on line to see if the funeral notice includes service information. And by all means let the family know how much your friend meant to you and your husband.
Originally Posted By DlandJB Ursula, I'm so very sorry. I'd try his office for information. Maybe they would forward a letter from you to his wife. Believe me, even if she doesn't know you, she'll love hearing the good things you have to say about her husband. I appreciated notes from my late husband's colleagues very much. See if there is a fund for the kids' or the wife through his office or if he had a favorite charity. Plants and flowers, while very nice gestures, were bested by contributions to an education fund set up for the kids. Or you might send them a gift card for a convenient restaurant. Probably the last thing she wants to do right now is cook. I sent a Honeybaked ham dinner to my niece last month when her husband was killed in a car accident and she said it was wonderful to have it and not have to think about cooking. When Michael died, someone also gave us a gift card to a local restaurant we liked and it was nice to be able to go out and take the kids to dinner. Again, I'm sorry about your friend and you are a very good person to be thinking about how to show his family that he was very special to you.
Originally Posted By bloona so sorry to read this Ursula, what a huge shock for you and others who knew him. My heart goes out to all effected by this tragic event x
Originally Posted By chickapin I think the letter to his wife would be a wonderful idea--perhaps one for his children as well that they can look at in years to come and realize the impact their father had on others? I use a floral designer here sometimes that sends what she calls a "European garden" arrangement. It is several plants and some flowers in a basket. When the flowers are finished, you can take the plants out and enjoy them.
Originally Posted By SuzieQ Ursula, I am so sorry to hear this. It is doubly shocking to lose someone so close to your own age, as I found out a few weeks ago. You can look for funeral arrangements/obituaries at Legacy.com <a href="http://www.legacy.com/Obituaries.asp" target="_blank">http://www.legacy.com/Obituari es.asp</a> The site also has electronic guest books for people to leave condolances for the family.
Originally Posted By Tiggirl Ursula, I'm sorry to hear this news. I hope you are ableto to find the information on the service so you can attend. I also echo the advise of letting his family know how much you enjoyed his company and friendship. Things like that really touched my dad when his wife passed away last year. I'll be thinking of you and your friends family. ~Beth
