Originally Posted By peeaanuut I was told yesterday that it was very odd that I opened the door of my car for a lady. I went out with a bunch of friends and they just thought it was odd. is that just too odd now adays?
Originally Posted By trekkeruss I wasn't sure by the title if this was going to be about literal or figurative doors! I would open the door of a my car for a woman. I open the car door for my mom, but not my sisters. I open regular doors for women also. I hold open doors for anyone that is reasonably close behind me.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut <<I open regular doors for women also. I hold open doors for anyone that is reasonably close behind me.>> Ditto.
Originally Posted By mele How long have you been with Jayna? Usually men stop opening the car door after awhile. I honestly don't see the need for it. Sure it's nice, I guess, but I'm capable of opening the door on my own. I've been living with my husband for 12 years now, whether or not he opens the car door for me is the least of my worries. LOL Opening the door to a building seems different. I often open the door for people instead of letting it close in their faces. That just seems polite where opening the car door seems odd to me. (But honestly, I've never had anyone who really cared that much about doing stuff like that for me so it just seems silly to me.)
Originally Posted By trekkeruss Sometimes I will hold a door open as long as necessary, until someone else volunteers to keep the same door open. In other words, if there is a constant stream of people wanting to go through a door, I will hold it open until someone "takes over." i just did this a few times on my vacation, holding doors open while all the members of the tour group I was with, entered.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut <<How long have you been with Jayna? Usually men stop opening the car door after awhile.>> 9 years this christmas.
Originally Posted By trekkeruss <<How long have you been with Jayna? Usually men stop opening the car door after awhile>> That's a good point. I guess it's a chivalry kinda thing for me. <<Opening the door to a building seems different. I often open the door for people instead of letting it close in their faces.>> Another valid point.
Originally Posted By mele 9 years is an incredibly long time to still be opening her door for her. Very old-fashioned and sweet of you, actually.
Originally Posted By Ursula Even though I sometimes am capable of opening doors for myself, I prefer that a man do it for me. It's just nice. And most of the time because of my height, I have trouble opening heavy doors, especially hotel doors and office building doors. I love when guys get the car doors for women. Think about it. More often or not, this is when we are wearing high heels and a dress. Try getting out of a low car or a high SUV in this get-up! Thank you, Peeaanuut, for still opening doors. I appreciate it. I do try to train our office runners that is it just very polite to offer to carry or hold stuff for women in our field, and that they would appreciate the assistance and not feel like they are the shrinking violet. Our clients tend to have to bring in heavy things (tapes, notebooks, drives, laptops) all at once, and I even tell them to offer assistance to men (you never know if they have more in the car, and it would help them get settled faster if they don't have to make two trips).
Originally Posted By Lisann22 <<<love when guys get the car doors for women. Think about it. More often or not, this is when we are wearing high heels and a dress. Try getting out of a low car or a high SUV in this get-up!>>> I tend to be a "door holder" myself most of the time. I just think it's a nice and polite thing to do. However, I never think about guys opening a car door for me. Just never been a big deal to me.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut <<9 years is an incredibly long time to still be opening her door for her.>> its the least I can do for the lady that washed my undies. lol
Originally Posted By Phantom Most of these customs have practical roots that may not apply anymore. Women used to be holding things in their hands when they went out... such as a baby, a fan, a purse, etc. Or, as earlier noted, what they were wearing made it difficult to climb in and out of vehicles. I open the doors - on building and vehicles, for my wife. She opens her door when she gets out of the car, though. Come to think of it, I open doors for any woman. But my wife tells me she'll often find herself staring at a door when she's out without me because she expects it to open without her doing anything. I joke with my wife that I open doors for her so that I can get a good look at her front and back. ;-) Thankfully, being married, I don't have to deal with this one, but a more controversial one is paying for dates. Men paying for all dates goes back to when women lived with either their father or brother until married and didn't have the same access to earning income, often home raising younger siblings and relatives. I plan on telling any children I have that women should pay their share of dates unless they are in that situation. Why should my sons pay for a girl they hardly know to have a free meal and entertainment, unless she'll do the same for him? My sons should only pay for a woman's time if the woman is performing some service for him, unless they are dating a woman who lives in the conditions I described above. As for my daughters, I don't want them being paid escorts when they're earning their own money.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut See the money issue was that way before. I paid for most everything. But now that our money is mixed there really is no difference who pays. I still like pulling out the moneyclip and plopping down the cash.
Originally Posted By iceknyght I usually hold doors open for everyone... If I am coming into or out of a store, I'll hold it for the next person if they are relatively close and go in after them... And car doors, I 9 times out of 10 will open the car door for a date/girlfriend... When I was married, I did it most times as well, and we were together for 7 years... I have gotten many a compliments for holding doors open, cause most of today's generation just don't do stuff like this anymore. I have had comments mostly from older women who make comments that there are still people out there that are polite and curteous... I was just brought up this way and unfortunately, at least around here, this type of common curtesy is relativly sparse... 9 times out of 10, I am not so much in a hurry that I can't hold a door for 10 seconds... Do unto others as you would have them do unto you... That's my motto... Well it would be if I had a motto...
Originally Posted By Mrs Nurmi I teach my sons that they should always be prepared to pay for everything, just in case, to avoid embarrassment on either part. Most young girls do expect to pay their own way these days unless arrangements have been made beforehand.(My oldest is 17) As for the door thing, I always appreciate it. Most of the guys in our building will hold the elevator, the front door, etc. Nuut, you totally strike me as a door opener. Jayna's a lucky girl.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut <<Jayna's a lucky girl. >> I wish someone would tell her that. LOL KIDDING.
Originally Posted By mele I think some guys like to pay...it's some sort of macho thing. I personally don't like anyone to pay for me. I mean, it's nice to be treated but it makes me feel awkward. I think it's nice when people share the costs on a date or one person gets dinner and the other pays for the movie or whatever. I never thought anyone should pay my way. Maybe I'm kind of macho, though, cos I really like to treat people if I can afford it.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut I think I get the paying thing from my dad. He was always quick with the CC to pay for the group. Whether it be 1 on 1 or a group of 20 he always paid. I have gotten better though. I can beat him to it sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. lol
Originally Posted By Ursula On the paying bits, if a guy asks the girl out (meaning, she may be interested in the guy but there has not been a long platonic relashionship prior), then I would assume he would pay. And vice-versa. If it's more of a mutual "we should go out sometime" thing, then I would assume the girl and guy would split or trade off. I've paid a lot of money for dating, so I assume that's the norm. I dated a guy who just didn't have the money and I did. I didn't want to sit home, so it made sense to me then.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut I never thought about it that way. But I guess whoever initates the date would pay. Interesting.
