Originally Posted By friendofdd It is precisely because Christmas is an "organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal" that Santa has to be a man. Delegation... that's the key. Just imagine if a woman was trying to delegate all of those tasks and obligations to her underlings. Christmas would be as ambiguous as the spring equinox. Nobody would know what day of the year we were going to celebrate it on. It takes a man to organize a commercial event as huge as Christmas. What with the ads, the parades, the football, and (usually) the basketball, the sheer immensity of the task would overwhelm most females. We'd have to plan football schedules around lunch instead of the other way around. Or worse yet... there might not be any football at all. (Shudder) That's a scary thought. If Santa was a female, the toys might never be delivered. It would take a she Santa until New Year's Eve to get dressed (for the third time) and out of the bathroom. And just try harnessing those reindeer with freshly painted nails. Never happen. Once she got underway, she'd be too busy talking on the cell phone to her girl friends to get all the way around the world to every girl and boy's house in a single year, let alone a single night. If Santa was female, the whole idea of gift giving would be unrecognizable. Everybody would get socks, or ties, or aftershave, or fuzzy slippers every year. There would be none of the noise making, shoot 'em up, battery operated windfalls that kids love. Bicycles would all come complete with helmets and knee pads. And training wheels so nobody could get hurt. Toy soldiers would be replaced by books on improving one's self esteem. Christmas just wouldn't be the same. I'll tell you another reason why Santa has to be a man (AND a football fan). Look at the names of his reindeer... Dasher, Comet, Blitzen... If those aren't male names for football players, than I'm an elf.
Originally Posted By Brown Monkey Yea, plus, if Santa were a woman, you'd make one mistake and you'd forever be on the naughty list with no chance of redemption! Plus, I'm sure she'd be appauled to have to trek down a dirty old chimney. She'd probably try to sneak through the window instead.
Originally Posted By mraymond friendofdd, your post on Santa is a word for word copy of an article I wrote several years ago. An archive of the original can be found here: <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20010423012307/ww" target="_blank">http://web.archive.org/web/200...12307/ww</a> w.longridiculousaddress.com/forwardslash/slash/santa.html I would appreciate my name being appended to your post as the author. Thank you.
Originally Posted By mraymond Ok, for some reason the link got scrubbed. The article is at <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20010423012307" target="_blank">http://web.archive.org/web/200...23012307</a> /www.longridiculousaddress.com/ forwardslash/slash/santa.html You have to piece it back together with no spaces to get it to work, sorry.
Originally Posted By mraymond scrubbed again, so one more time. Go to <a href="http://web.archive.org/" target="_blank">http://web.archive.org/</a> enter longridiculousaddress.com/ forwardslash/slash/santa.html (sorry, piece those together) in the search box after <a href="http://" target="_blank">http://</a> Should take you to the original article.
Originally Posted By friendofdd mraymond, I would be happy to give you the credit. However, I picked it up on a site with hundreds of Christmas items. I don't remember the site name, but will try to find it again. I also posted one called Santa is a woman from that site at about the same time. Please consider yourself credited.
Originally Posted By friendofdd It took me just a moment to find it. I'm fairly sure this is the site. <a href="http://people.cornell.edu/pages/bs16/Jokes-christmas.html" target="_blank">http://people.cornell.edu/page...mas.html</a>
Originally Posted By jdub The whole thing is sexist enough, I'm surprised anyone is trying to take credity for it, let alone posting or forwarding it online. Santawoman couldn't get the presents delivered because of her wet fingernails and chatting on the phone with her girlfriends? WHAT decade is this?
Originally Posted By friendofdd jdub, the opposing view, "Santa is a woman", pretty well evens things out. As you know, satire is not meant to be politically correct nor taken seriously.
Originally Posted By mraymond Thank you, friendofdd. I appreciate the time and the credit - and the link. More to follow up on.
