Originally Posted By skywilliams My family and I visited Disneyland September 9th through the 11th and had a wonderful time except for an incident that occured at the Tower of Terror in California Adventure. Here's what happened: my wife took my two oldest boys (5 and 4) to the ride while I sat out with the baby. Apparently everything was fine up to the point when they were almost on the ride when my oldest started crying that he was scared. Now, he has been on this ride before and has loved it but for some reason this trip he was scared to go on it. My wife knowing that once on the ride he would remember how fun it is told him he was going on it. Well, this lady in behind my wife told her that she should take him off the ride because he is terrified. My wife told her that he he is just throwing a fit and will enjoy it once on it. Well this lady tears into my wife telling her what a horrible mother she is and she knows nothing about raising children properly, telling her that she is ruining everyones experience by forcing him on the ride and she was a selfish mother for making her kids go on a ride they don't want to go on becasue she wants to ride it. She then calls over a cast member to escort my wife and kids off the ride. The cast member asks my wife if she would like to leave to which my wife said she did not but if the other lady would like to leave she could. The cast member realized there was a tense situation going on and decideds to make a hasty retreat. Then this ladies husband also starts yelling at my wife for saying that his wife should leave and that he should report her to child protective services. So then everyone gets on the ride and low and behold my son immediatley calmed down once seated becasue he rememebered the ride and both my sons absolutly loved the ride and was asking to ride again after it was done. Of course the other day and her husband made a quick exit without saying anything else to my wife when realizing that she was right becasue the kids did love the ride. Here's my question: have this ever happened to you? Have you ever seen someone with a child who is frightened to go on a ride? If so, what are your thoughts on this? I've seen this but never thought that the parents were abusive, I just feel bad for the parents having to console the child while trying to convince them to try something new because they might like it. As a parent it is your job to help your child overcome their fears. My son was terrified of having th etraining wheels removed from his bike, sure he fell down a couple times but now can ride a bike without hem and love it. My sons were scared of the water becasue they couldn't swim, we put them in swimming lessons and not love the water because they can swim. At the Disney resort both my wife and I make our kids go on the all the rides their height allows them to experience because it would be cheating them if I allow them to fear those rides and not realize that there are other thrills to be had outside of Fantasyland. Yes, it also serves the purpose of letting my wife and I enjoy the bigger attractions without having to go solo but we also want our kids to not confine themselves to the 'kiddie' rides. My father took me as a child to carnivals and fairs and always forced me to ride the bigger rides (with me complaining quite vocally) but I am glad he did because I gained such a love for roller coasters and free fall rides that I don't know if ever would have without him. I just feel bad that something like this happened because it really ruined the trip for my wife. She kept stewing over the incident and didn't take my kids back to TOT because of what happened. Please give me your input on this for good or bad because I want to relay others opinions to wife other than my own.
Originally Posted By trekkeruss We've had this discussion on the boards many times; some parents feel that they are helping their children over come fears, while others feel they are unnecessarily forcing their kids into doing things they don't want to. I try to stay out of other people's affairs. I think I would only step in if I truly felt some mental or physical harm was being done.
Originally Posted By plutospal77 It's great your wife stood up to that lady, I wouldve gotten in her face. The lady probably didn't know the whole situation with yer son and how he's been on it before, thats why she got involved. When I took my son on rides the 1st time, he was scared, but we didn't really tell him about the ride he was going on, otherwise he wouldve been scared. Some people just get involved too much, I probably wouldve slapped the woman if it were me. But I have heard parents say to there kids who were crying "If you cry, they'll kick us out of DL" And that calmed there kids down. Course, that ride made me naucious too.
Originally Posted By cmpaley That woman (I wouldn't call her a lady) is a busybody who needs to mind her own business.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip The other woman was clearly out of line making comments that she had no business making. I don't fault your wife at all for handling it the way she did. On the other hand, it is probably not what I would have done. I wouldn't force a child to go on a ride whether they have a valid reason for not wanting to or not. It should be completely up to the child. A Disney trip is too short and too special to have it marred by unnecessary crying and tension; even if it is short lived. I would imagine that your wife was upset for much of the day due to what happened. It probably would have been best if your wife had turned to the woman and said something like "I'm so lucky to have you here to tell my how to take care of my kids" and calmly left the line. Your wife and boys could always return to the ride later when things were calmer and it would have prevented a nasty situation from developing. Again, I'm not faulting your wife. My wife and I both HATE conflict, and will do most anything to avoid it. I realize that means at times we accept behavior that we should not have to; I would never fault someone for not wanting to handle it our way. (See… I even have a hard time saying I might handle it a different way than your wife!! LOL)
Originally Posted By TexasTeaIII What sticks out big time to me is if your kid is thowing a "typical" fit--I assume crying/whining/making a scene and others have to listen to it then it is time to exit the ride queue immediately--- If the fit is disrupting the lady's(and others') enjoyability of an attraction then the parent needs to put an end to it at once. Queues have a lot of people together in close proximity and when one throws a fit many "innocent bystanders" have to endure it and it is annoying as hell to listen to say the least. Now if this fit was more confined to the boy's personal space or somewhat silent then the parent needs to be trusted and given latitude and the lady should not stick her beak in others business. So what kind of a fit was it?
Originally Posted By wahooskipper Back in the day as a ride operator I probably would have intervened. There is no way of distinguishing the good from the bad parents. I would have pulled the parent and child aside and offered that they step aside and discuss whether or not the child really wants to ride. If so, then I would stick them in the next available vehicle. If not, then fine. In that case, it gets the worked up child away from a crowd which is embarassing and likely contributes to the problem. As a guest I probably would not have intervened unless I saw something physical going on between child and parent. When that happens I will intervene every time.
Originally Posted By skywilliams I understand where you are coming from RoadTrip because I'm the same type of person who will try to avoid conflict whenever possible. I don't think I would have left, but I would have either tried to ignore the lady completely or just say something short and sweet to not have a further conversation with the lady. Even though my wife doesn't mind going to toe to toe with people to defend her point she did say that she really wasn't given a choice in this matter becasue she was stricly on the defensive int his situation. If the lady said nicely, "Excuse me, but your child seems to be frightened of this ride would you like me to call someone over so you can take him somewhere to calm down?", then it might have been a whole diffirent situation. Hey, if you see a situation that you feel you need to say something, go ahead, by all means, but make sure what you say isn't abbrasive or attacking because who is going to say "You know, you're right, I am a bad parent for forcing my kids to ride this. I will leave immediately. Thanks for ppoiting out my faults and in front of all these witnesses too!" You're just asking for a fight if you approach it the way that lady did so was she really concerned for the childs well being or more interested in putting a 'bad mother' in her place?
Originally Posted By TexasTeaIII So sky, was the episode disrupting those in the queue or not? If the scene was only affecting one busy body lady who was very close by then the lady was out of line but if the episode was grating on multiple people who are trying to enjoy the attraction then you got to exit.
Originally Posted By skywilliams --So what kind of a fit was it?-- It was a whinning, I believe a bit crying, kind of fit. Not one where they are screaming or flailing about but one where they are begging to leave. And it wasn't like it was happening for very long. It happened this weekend where the line wait was 10 minutes and the fit didn't start until they were next to get put into the lines to get on the elevator. I am aware that it does upset some people to hear a child cry about being scared to go on a ride and may view the parents as uncaring, for lack of a better word. And if it was a deal where he was kicking and screaming and physically avoiding getting on the ride I would take him out not only so as not to upset others but if they are going to act like that then they will just have to miss out on the fun. Not saying that I wouldn't try to get him on it later.
Originally Posted By sherrytodd I can tell the difference with my son whether he is a little nervous about a new situation or terrified. If he hits the point of crying in public then he is terrified, but that is just my son so in that situation I would not have taken him on the ride. In that sense I do believe that the parent is the best judge. It has made me sick though to see how some parents respond to their freightened children by belittling them. When we were at WDW, my son rode ToT fine the first time, but it did scare him and when we went to go on it the second time, he broke down after the library and we asked the CM to leave. Another mother with a freightened daughter was yelling at her daughter for being scared and was making her feel bad because now the mother couldn't ride. I think that you have to be respectful of the child's feelings. They are an individual human being and have a right to feel comfortable with their surroundings. Be encouraging about new experiences, but know where to draw the line.
Originally Posted By skywilliams I really don't beleive it was disrupting anyone else but that lady but then again I really don't know. When the lady said that it is ruining everyone elses experience no one even seemed to react. everyone else was busy with their own conversation and such. Realize that this isn't like the queue area for Haunted Mansion. Thsi is the boiler room are and it was fairly noisy with the ride noises and the crowd of people talking in such so the fit wasn't really enough to be heard by many over the sounds of all this.
Originally Posted By sherrytodd I think that the lady throwing a fit and causing a confrontation would probably cause a bigger disruption then the child.
Originally Posted By skywilliams And it did sherrytodd. My son was just loud enough to be heard by just a few people but when that woman started in on my wife it was very loud and abbrasive.
Originally Posted By skywilliams Now another thing I failed to mention was that my 5 year old (who was throwing the fit) has his preferred ridding buddy which is me. When I go on rides with him he never complians but when my wife goes on with him he will start to complain. It was a situation where he wasn't with his dad and mom doesn't make him feel as safe. I guess it's a situation where we knew (from experince) that he would love the ride regardless of what he was saying so my wife wasn't going to walk him out.
Originally Posted By DlandDug I really don't like to see scared kids being forced onto rides, but I certainly wouldn't presume to lecture parents about their own kids. The worst example I ever saw was on Tower of Terror. A couple with a very small girl (2-3) were boarding, and the girl was sobbing and terrified. The mom offered to stay off with her, but dad said she would be fine once the ride started up. Well. The ride started up, and the little girl started howling. She shrieked, cried, and dissolved into gasping hiccups. The trip was excruciating for the rest of us. When it was over the dad picked up his daughter (a silent, heaving, dishrag) and beat a hasty retreat, his wife looking daggers at him. So... would it have been better if some officious Mommy had ordered him to keep her off the attraction? Probably. But that's easy to determine after the fact, no?
Originally Posted By SDmom Well said DlandDug. Every family has to set their own "rules". However, we should also try to respect each other. IMHO, ToT is a good example of an attraction that should have a higher height limit. I see unhappy children on that ride nearly every time we go.
Originally Posted By FerretAfros When I was little (probably around 5 or 6), my family took a trip to Worlds of Fun in Kansas City. There was a raft ride (similar to GRR) there, and I saw it several times throughout the day as we were walking by it. As a little kid (and still to some extent, now) I really wasn't a huge fan of being soaking wet, especially if I could avoid it. Well, I remember seeing a part, from the path, where the rafts go down the river, and there are large gysers that shoot up and get people all wet. That alone was enough to make me not want to ride it. Near the end of the day, we got in line for it, and I told my mom several times that I didn't want to go on it, but she just thought I was joking. As we neared the loading platform, I saw a tunnel section with a waterfall over the end of it that the raft went through and that was enough to make me really not want to go on it. Since my ever so subtile plan of saying that I didn't want to go on it didn't work, I just started crying and doing anything I could to not get on the ride. But, of course that didn't work. So, I ended up going on the ride, screaming and crying the whole time. At that point, I really wished that somebody had said something to my parents, and let me not ride. But, you know what, I ended up OK. I'm still alive, and I still enjoy going to theme parks. On top of that, I really like raft rides now (still not a huge fan of getting wet, but I can deal with it), so I guess it wasn't the worst thing in the world. I still give my parents a hard time about it whenever possible, but that's about it. So, do I think that people should step in to others' situations? Not really. I was very clearly not willing to go on the ride, but it really didn't do any long term damage (that I know of), so I think parents usually have a good gague of how their children react to things. (Ironically, the only other ride from that trip that I remember was a boat ride that goes up a lift, around a U-turn, and has a really big drop, getting people all wet. And to make things even more confusing, I loved that ride, and we did it several times that day. Go figure)
Originally Posted By skywilliams I guess this is a very grey area subject. I think FerretAfros really describes it well. He didn't want to go on but enjoyed it none-the-less. But then we also need to take the child into consideration. I am a firm beleiver of helping a child face their fears but if they are terrified then they won't really allow themself to have fun becasue they firmly have it set in their minds 'This is going to be horrible.' As a parent I know my kids and I know when they are really scared and when they are just nervous. Heck, my 5 year old even tried to get out of going on POTC because he remembered there was a waterfall and was afraid of getting wet. I wasn't about to let him sit out on that ride because he may have forgotten how the ride really is. Now he also refused Splash Mountain and I did not make him go on that becasue I could really tell he was not in the mood to get wet. And on ToT he wasn't being loud in his complaints and we knew he liked it before so my wife saw no reason to remove him. But if he had been making a commotion, wether we knew he would like it or not, I agree he should be taken out or at the very least off to the side and talked to to see if he could be calmed down. The cast members are so great that if you really had to leave for some reason they would either give you a pass or have your name at the front where they would let you skip to the front if you wanted to go drop off the frightened kid yet still wanted to ride by yourself or with another kid.
Originally Posted By JAYDOE When I was a little girl, my dad always took me on the bigger rides. I know there is always that feeling of "butterflies" and anticipation, but I'm actually very grateful to my dad for making me get on these kind of rides. It's a ride...it's meant to give you "butterflies" and the feeling of anticipation. I feel like me and my dad had such a bond, and as funny as it sounds, going on rides together brought us closer! My mom has never been a big ride kind of person. So this is something my father and I always shared together...it was "our" thing. I've done the same thing with my daughter who is 5. She loves rides, and now it will be "our" thing!!! :0) Of course she gets a little scared, but that is always part of the experience....and by the way, she hasn't met a ride she hasn't loved yet!!!
