Originally Posted By alexbook According to David Letterman's writers, here are the questions being asked of potential Vice Presidential candidates. How do you rate? "How much experience do you have doing nothing?" "Do you have any crazy clergymen we should know about?" "Will you help your oil company buddies achieve record profits by screwing consumers?" "How many friends do you have on Facebook?" "Can your charisma and vitality match the high standard set by Dick Cheney?" "Why the hell was Billy Crystal on Letterman talking about 'Soap the Complete Series' now available on DVD?" "Do you think the Yankees should move Joba back to bullpen?" "Any idea what happened on the season finale of 'Lost'?" "Ever slept with Barbara Walters?" "By any chance do you know where Osama bin Laden is?" "Ready to sit on your ass for four years?" "Do you see yourself as more of an Al Gore blowhard or a Dan Quayle boob?" "Do you mind living in a house that reeks of gunpowder and lipitor?" "How good are you at pretending to care about average voters?" "Can you bring to the ticket the magnetic charisma and smoky machismo of a Walter Mondale?" "In the off-chance presidency is decided by bowling, can you top a 37?" "In case terrorists storm the Oval Office, do you know kung-fu?"
Originally Posted By Ursula "How much experience do you have doing nothing?" Plenty! "Do you have any crazy clergymen we should know about?" None. That I know of. "Will you help your oil company buddies achieve record profits by screwing consumers?" Uhm, yes. "How many friends do you have on Facebook?" 34 "Can your charisma and vitality match the high standard set by Dick Cheney?" Surpass, actually. "Why the hell was Billy Crystal on Letterman talking about 'Soap the Complete Series' now available on DVD?" Who is Billy Crystal? "Do you think the Yankees should move Joba back to bullpen?" What happened to A-Rod? "Any idea what happened on the season finale of 'Lost'?" Some guy was in a casket. "Ever slept with Barbara Walters?" Not that I know of... "By any chance do you know where Osama bin Laden is?" Was he the guy in the casket? "Ready to sit on your ass for four years?" That's what I'm doing now. "Do you see yourself as more of an Al Gore blowhard or a Dan Quayle boob?" How is Al Quayle doing these days? "Do you mind living in a house that reeks of gunpowder and lipitor?" Not much. But I have Lysol (TM). "How good are you at pretending to care about average voters?" I barely pretend to care at work and I got a raise...so there you go. "Can you bring to the ticket the magnetic charisma and smoky machismo of a Walter Mondale?" Yes. I'm more of a Geraldine Ferraro gal myself. "In the off-chance presidency is decided by bowling, can you top a 37?" No. "In case terrorists storm the Oval Office, do you know kung-fu?" I had drinks with him once.
Originally Posted By beamerdog >>"Any idea what happened on the season finale of 'Lost'?" Some guy was in a casket.<< >>By any chance do you know where Osama bin Laden is?" Was he the guy in the casket?<< OMG, you are way too funny!
