Originally Posted By LuLu DrFrootLoop has a very nice boyfriend now, and in a month he's going to San Diego and she to NEW YORK! He is already feeling heartbroken... If you had to deal with the breakup of a summer love, what did you do?
Originally Posted By LVBelle My husband and I did the long distance thing for three and a half years while we were dating. It was tough, certainly not for everyone. We were fortunate in that his dad worked for an airline and we were able to see eachother often. If they're going to try and make it work, make sure they have free long distance! I didn't at the time so I spent a fortune on phone cards. I truly believe that if it's meant to be, it will work out.
Originally Posted By LuLu Yeah, I don't know about that. But even at the beginning, DD was saying, I'll never find another guy with his sense of humor! I've been discouraging her from spending too much time with him and getting too close Thanks for sharing your story, Belle!
Originally Posted By ajnhollysmommy now I cant get that song from Grease out of my head. I had a summer love when I graduated H.S. We tried a long distance relationship. He went off to school in Texas. I moved to Malibu to be a nanny but after 1 month both of us got too busy in our own life and parted ways. It was hard but not THAT hard. We had a great summer with fond memories. Your DD may need him to still talk to when she leaves as moving that far away is going to be very hard at 1st. She will be in culture shock for a while in New York.
Originally Posted By gottaluvdavillains I followed the guy to his school --- he is my X... I would say go their separate ways and have fun - if it's meant to be - it will be there when they are both back in the same area - if not like Ajahm - they had a fun summer!
Originally Posted By beamerdog I had a summer love who took his junior year abroad at the Sorbonne in PARIS!! We wrote a lot, but when we got together for the first time when he returned, he seem like a pompous a---- Moving on at 16 is pretty easy to do, lol. Even when he was brilliant and looked like Adonis. *sigh* gottaluv is right.
Originally Posted By wonderingalice [Danny] Summer loving had me a blast [Sandy] Summer loving happened so fast [Danny] I met a girl crazy for me [Sandy] Met a boy cute as can be [Both] Summer days drifting away, to oh oh the summer nights [Guys] Well-a well-a well-a huh Tell me more, tell me more Did you get very far? [Gals] Tell me more, tell me more Like does he have a car? [Danny] She swam by me, she got a cramp [Sandy] He ran by me, got my suit damp [Danny] I saved her life, she nearly drowned [Sandy] He showed off, splashing around [Both] Summer sun, something's begun, but oh oh the summer nights [Gals] Tell me more, tell me more Was it love at first sight? [Guys] Tell me more, tell me more Did she put a fight? [Danny] Took her bowling in the arcade [Sandy] We went strolling, drank lemonade [Danny] We made out under the dock [Sandy] We stayed out 'till ten o'clock [Both] Summer fling, don't mean a thing, but oh oh the summer nights [Guys] Tell me more, tell me more But you don't have to bragg [Gals] Tell me more, tell me more Cause he sounds like a drag [Sandy] He got friendly, holding my hand [Danny] She got friendly down in the sand [Sandy] He was sweet just turned eighteen [Danny] Well she was good you know what I mean [Both] Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but oh oh the summer nights [Gals] Tell me more, tell me more How much dough did he spend? [Guys] Tell me more, tell me more Could she get me a friend? [Sandy] It turned colder - that's where it ends [Danny] So I told her we'd still be friends [Sandy] Then we made our true love vow [Danny] Wonder what she's doing now [Both] Summer dreams ripped at the seams, but oh those summer nights [All] Tell me more, tell me more
Originally Posted By LuLu ^^LOL now we'll all have that song stuck in our heads! They'll definitely be going their separate ways - which is a good thing - I agree that they may "need" to be in contact for a while but I'd guess that will probably drop off after a while.
Originally Posted By Ursula You know what? I'd let them spend plenty of time together now. Sure, chances are they won't stay together after the move but at least she can have some fun memories and perhaps make a life-long friend. Email is cheap these days and it might do her some good having a friend who is in the same situation of being away from home in a different city.
Originally Posted By LuLu Oh, I just make suggestions, she does what she wants ;-) I'm very glad she is dating now - she's had very little experience dating, and I appreciate hearing about her thoughts and concerns and sharing mine. It's a good opportunity for her to start figuring out how to handle relationships in general.
Originally Posted By Tinkeroon DS was doing a long distance relationship for over 2 yrs. He, here in Calif. she, in Toronto (Canada) They flew back and forth for major holidays, emailed and talked on the phone daily (good phone plan) but it eventually took it's toll and they parted ways. They have remained friends and I often email her myself. They did have a lot of good times and things to look back on. And learned a lot about different cultures, holidays, foods, etc... It was certainly not a waste. Like all the others, I say, if it is meant to be, and they want it to be, it will be.
Originally Posted By Tinkeroon Oh and wonderingalice...thanks...like It's a Small World this song will be in my head all night!
Originally Posted By chickendumpling I'm confused. You say *he's* already feeling heartbroken which to me says she's decided she's moving on and him maybe not so much. Are you asking for input to help her help him adjust or to help her maintain the relationship romantically? Or do you just want to hear our stories of Summer Love?
Originally Posted By Inspector 57 <<I'm very glad she is dating now - she's had very little experience dating, and I appreciate hearing about her thoughts and concerns and sharing mine. It's a good opportunity for her to start figuring out how to handle relationships in general.>> What a wonderful, healthy, "big-picture" perspective. Congratulations on that -- and on the two of you communicating so openly! The hurt of adolescent relationships can be so intense. Were I a parent, I'm not certain I'd be able to deal with that possibility as rationally as you are handling it, LuLu. I'm afraid that as soon as I had children, I'd be tempted to move my family to an isolated ranch in Montana and not allow the kids to leave the property 'til they were in their mid-20's. Having said that... kids are resilient. We all get over our summer romances, and, yes, they are good "training" for future relationships. <-- sighs <-- is feeling pretty confident that he is very close to being completely over that little relationship he had while working and living at Cedar Point in the summer of '76.
Originally Posted By LuLu LOL! chickie, I think (particularly from our conversation this afternoon) that when DD moves to NY, she doesn't want to feel tied down. She's really moving on to a whole new life (and much as I dread how I'll miss her, I applaud her nerve!). *He* wants to talk about what they'll do when school starts, she doesn't. I actually agree with her, heck they've been dating less than 2 months and school is still a month away, so who knows how they'll feel? But I sense she's feeling pressured (guilty is the word she used)... Anyway, yes, I mostly wanted to hear people's stories. I didn't really go thru this myself!
Originally Posted By Jim in Merced CA Lulu, your daughter is Smart -- with a capital S. I had a girlfriend in college. My senior year, I took advantage of an exchange program to study at a school in New York City. We thought we could do the 'long distance relationship.' After I landed in NYC, it took me about 2 days to realize that it was dumb to try and do it. Looking back, I probably felt pressured (guilty) about keeping the relationship together. If I had it to do over again, I would have just said, 'we'll see what happens.' Again, I commend DrFrootLoop's guts to know that she's going to have enough on her plate than to have to worry about a long distance relationship. Lulu -- is she going to NYC to pursue acting?
Originally Posted By wonderingalice Hee hee hee... Couldn't resist. From the moment I saw the topic, the song popped into my head. How could I *not* torture ya'll with it? At least it's not as repetitive as "iasw." ;-) I really do love the entire soundtrack from Grease.
Originally Posted By LuLu Thanks JiM. She wants to pursue Theater Arts - not sure exactly which part of it, possibly screenwriting as she's an excellent writer. I know she'll figure that part out when it's time. Based on her auditions, she didn't get accepted into any TA programs she applied for. But she hopes to re-audition after Freshman year. As you probably remember my topic stressing about her choice of a major - I have to say that once she decided she was SURE she wanted to go into TA, I was totally OK with it! I guess her indecisiveness about it was what concerned me the most. I'm very proud of her for going after what she wants. I know how terribly I'll miss her, but I'm 100% behind her
Originally Posted By chickendumpling As usual, I agree with Jim. And Ursula. And parts of what everyone else has said too. Especially wonderingalice's singing. I think your daughter totally has the right mind-set about this and she shouldn't feel guilty about it. She should enjoy her time with him and if it's meant to be, it will be. At the same time, she shouldn't avoid the issue. If he wants to talk about September, I think she should. I think she should be very gentle but very honest with him and tell him how she feels. Talking about feelings usually freaks guys right out and then he'll leave her alone and she can go to New York guilt-free! Honestly though, she shouldn't feel guilty. Sure, feeling loss at leaving is completely understandable but guilt? She should put that feeling right out of her head. It's not like she's moving to NY to get away from him and just isn't telling him or anything. NY is a great new adventure for her. She's a young woman who wants to soar. The less luggage she takes with her the better. NOT that he's luggage! That's *not* what I'm saying. I'm just saying that while she should be kind and considerate about his feelings, which I'm sure she will, his feelings have to be balanced with and not put _above_ hers. Being considerate of others is always very important, but she knows her mind and it's going to New York. She should take all of her heart with her too. Now, I know I'll probably get slammed for that but I just watched my nephew go through a horrible and traumatic break up with his east-coast g/fd and though having the "let's play it by ear" talk when he first left would have been hard, having that same talk months and months later was much, much more painful. And he missed out on a lot in the in-between time because he was never really "here" in the moment, he was always distracted by the fact that she wasn't with him. I wish that kind of longing on no one. Your daughter sounds like a lovely girl, LuLu. I wish her every happiness.
Originally Posted By LuLu Thanks I don't know why you'd get slammed for that - it actually seems like we're all on the same page... Her "guilt" was worrying if she "led him on" by dating him at all. I just told her that no one knows where things will go when you start seeing someone. He knew she'd be leaving - I'm sure she's just feeling a little bittersweet about the whole thing. But "play it by ear" is a good phrase
