Originally Posted By friendofdd LP Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky . You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years,maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut <<Three pairs of shoes are more than enough>> This one just doesnt seem to work for me.
Originally Posted By EdisYoda <<Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. >> Add a couple of bucks and I'd agree.
Originally Posted By TALL Disney Guy "Masculinists" unite! Thanks for the reminder of the True Ways of the World, friendofdd---you should be our mens' leader! *tacks up NO WOMEN ALLOWED sign at front of thread* (but the ladies may slide goodies under the door)
Originally Posted By Big Thunder BTW... >>"You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. "<< I dont have a problem with you ladies doing the same, so there's one fer ya
Originally Posted By idleHands This topic title should read, "The heterosexual men of LP are just happier..." Clueless straights.
Originally Posted By disneyfreaksk Sheesh! Why do you think "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" is such a hit?! Well, you can be slobs if you want. It is your right. But don't expect a trophy wife unless you've got millions in the bank!!!!! BTW, you described my husband almost to a T!! He has improved a bit with age
