Originally Posted By KatieKate123 I do apologize for lying. I did lie and its because I was ashamed that he was deported. I was ashamed that I ever got involved with a guy that wasn't legal. I didn't know at the the time that he wasn't legal and didn't find that out until the day that I got a call that he was in immigration jail. He came home for two years after that and finally got volunteer departure. So he took his papers that part's not a lie. He also just left which wasn't a lie. Also I did talk to his boss every night on the phone who was telling me these things so that part's not a lie. I only lied about going on a business trip vs being deported. I have not been able to accept that he was deported until recently. I have not had the mindset to accept reality and that he is not coming home. At the time I prayed he would keep his promise that he would come home within 3 weeks now I realize that's not obviously going to happen, so at the time I thought 3 weeks was nothing and it was like a business trip. I understand it you are angry but you have to understand even my family dosen't know he was deported. I was very very upset to think that and did not want to accept it.
Originally Posted By KatieKate123 oh and now that I reread the post I never lied all of those things did happen. Yes he did get volunteer departure but he also was still planning on coming back. Yes I did omit the part of receiving volunteer departure but at the time I did not want to admit thats why he left. I didn't know where he was or why he took his papers or why he deleted his brother's phone number out of the phone. But all of those things happened. I also did talk to his boss every night and still do. His boss is a family friend so again not a lie.
Originally Posted By u k fan Katie, I understand why you lied. It's just a shame that you did it. The other things you mentioned in your first post here are completely natural feelings.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Kate, huge hugs to you. I understand your motives and my heart still goes out to you. All my very best wishes to you at this trying time.
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 I don't know KatieKate personally and I knew that her husband was deported. I knew that they were a family and getting along when it happened. I knew that after the deportation she was rightly freaking out because there was no word from him. There must have been another thread or a continuation of the first and I joined in late. KatieKate123 I hope you are doing well today and good luck with the stopping smoking tomorrow
Originally Posted By wahooskipper I'm not here to judge. I understand a need to hide the truth. I understand people feeling upset about the lie. But, when you strip all of that away you are still a person who experienced loss and I'm sorry you are still aching. If I withdrew from every person who wasn't completely honest with me I would be a pretty lonely guy. That is a sad statement to make but it is true.
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb But why come here at all? Other than some trip planning she hasn't been what I would call an active member of the LP community. From the very start she's had one sob story after another. Remember her dying mother? She's displaying a little the called munchausen by Internet. She definitely needs help, but not the sympathy she's seeking. I know we like to be supportive of each other, for the most part, but this is enabling not helping. The girl needs professional help, not words of support from strangers on the Internet which just feeds her illness.
Originally Posted By SingleParkPassholder "But why come here at all? Other than some trip planning she hasn't been what I would call an active member of the LP community. From the very start she's had one sob story after another. Remember her dying mother? She's displaying a little the called munchausen by Internet. She definitely needs help, but not the sympathy she's seeking. I know we like to be supportive of each other, for the most part, but this is enabling not helping. The girl needs professional help, not words of support from strangers on the Internet which just feeds her illness." Agreed. My bit about seeking help in post 17 wasn't a dig. She needs real, person to person assistance, not some anonymous Internet stuff, albeit well intentioned.
Originally Posted By wahooskipper Which do you think does more harm? Ignoring her if you feel she is seeking attention. Or, belittling her as she seeks attention. I'd go with the later so why comment at all if you feel this way? I'm not disagreeing that she might need to seek out some professional help. But, I'm not sure this is the place to pile on.
Originally Posted By SingleParkPassholder Who's piling on and belittling? Not me. I'm also not going to respond any further, because this thread makes me uneasy as it is.
Originally Posted By ibob Is it just me ... or do We all know this topic is going to go places that are beyond personal boundaries ... that are acceptable.
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb Re: 32 I'm not belittling her I am stating what I believe is going on here. Also, enabling her does more harm than good, for both her and the rest of the community. "Cybermunchers" have been known to completely destroy online communities like ours. Granted she's pretty mild compared to others I've read about but that doesn't change the fact that she needs professional help and enabling her behavior here is harmful to us and more immediately to her. Why is pointing this out bad?
Originally Posted By KCCHIEF I am not "belittling" her. She has done a fine job of that herself. Lying to people is one thing.....but, to come back and then start over again with another story.........come on... enough is enough.....and now I will bow out. Lying is never good.
Originally Posted By ibob I agree with the key points ... Help is Needed. Lying is never good. The manner of conveying that message *in a acceptable way* is important.
Originally Posted By KatieKate123 Just wanted everyone to know that I am sorry if I offended your or upset you. I was hurting, and now I see that I really shouldn't of talked about this on here. I am actually taking your alls advice and going to speak with a counselor. I booked a appt for Monday. I am hoping that I can deal with everything that I have to deal with. The fact that my husband left and the fact that yes my mom is dying and I have to deal with it. I will be on my own soon but while I have my mom around, its best to work on our relationship and everything else. SO thanks for everything and thanks for listening. I appreciate it. I promise from now on though I will not talk about anything personal unless asked about it or if its really good news.
Originally Posted By KatieKate123 OH and one last thing b/f I bow out I wanted to post to Autopia Deb. I am not displacing any munchausen because everything I said was pretty much the truth. My mother is sick, my husband did leave. It's sad things that I have had to deal with and that I should never of brought up here but its not fictional.
