Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Ok, I will try to weigh in this weekend. Needless to say, there are a lot of considerations with adoptions for that child, the state, the family and the siblings affected. I will try to get on, but things are crazy busy right now.
Originally Posted By bloona Hi Chris, nice to hear from you on here. Im sorry I cant give any advice on the issue, I just want to say good luck with whatever your decision is and I applaud you on wanting to help a child and let it share your amazing familys life and love.
Originally Posted By Mr X ***For our very early, very preliminary research we found that healthy, non-black infants are in demand, and none of them linger in "the system". However, whatever it says about our culture, some black infants do go un-adopeted as new borns, for no other reason then that they are black.*** Ain't that sad? ***Also, somewhat understandably, babies with Medical issues linger with the state.*** This is also very sad, but as you say it IS understandable. Anyway, this is an interesting topic. I don't have anything meaningful to add, so I'll just say GOOD LUCK to you DVC, in whatever you decide to do. I hope it works out well!
Originally Posted By Mr X Why the Ukraine in particular? I understand there are lots of girl babies in China in desperate need of adoption, and that would probably (hopefully) avoid any of the medical issues that Jonvn mentioned originally (not that those kids don't need help too!). Very noble of you to be considering this!! What do your kids have to say about it, out of curiosity?
Originally Posted By jonvn "Why the Ukraine in particular?" Lot of poverty. Chinese babies have other issues. And they are not white.
Originally Posted By Mr X I was really just asking DVC "why the Ukraine in particular?". But yes, I did have a curiosity as to whether that place was a typical place to find "white babies". But I don't mean it as a slight. I really, really don't. I was curious if that was part of the equation. And, if so, I could really understand that too. Because if it's a white family doing the adopting, it would make sense and be an easier transition and all the rest. I hope that didn't come off as insensitive or anything like that.
Originally Posted By Kennesaw Tom I have good friends here in Cobb that adopted a Russian girl probably 10 years ago now. The adoption process went quick because they bribed everyone to get that child into the USA. Their daughter had a preexesting medical condition ( malformed foot ). Since my friend is an RN for St Joesph's Hospital in Atlanta they knew that condition would be easy to deal with surgically ( and it has since been corrected ). Amy is doing fine as a teenager. I also have a cousin and her husband who adopted two Ukariane boys. It took them MONTHS to get both childen in the USA. I think they ended up spending a good 6 months living in the Ukraine getting all the paperwork, etc done to get the boys into the US. They did not have the money to bribe anyone. So they had to spend a lot of time and waiting instead. They named their boys after the two airports they flew out of when leaving the country ( Logan, in Boston) and returning back to the USA ( Bradley, In CT ).
Originally Posted By threeundertwo My niece was adopted from Russia. Contact me at my username (at) hotmail dot com and I'll put you in touch with her. There is a strong internet network of parents who adopt internationally. She received a lot of support and help and advice from them. You might start by checking them out. My niece is fine, although the process took so long it was past her 1st birthday when they were finally able to take her home. Orphanages there routinely give children American names and teach babies to blow kisses so they can send heart-tugging videos to prospective parents in the United States. Once my sister got through to the court system and the orphanage over there she was gently prodded to "take one more." (She didn't).
Originally Posted By threeundertwo I meant contact me and I'll put you in touch with my *sister* who adopted her. I need some more coffee. . .
Originally Posted By Ursula Another friend of mine adopted from Russia. Her husband is French (dual citizenship) and France paid for the adoption. He's a great little boy and is doing well. Their reasons for picking Russia was 1) that her health problems would be an issue for adopting in the states, 2)France would pay, and 3) her husband is half-Russian. At the time, I was a notary and offered to do their paperwork for free. It would have worked out great, except there was a ruling that the notary needed to be outside of six months from expiration. This means that I couldn't do her paperwork for her, since my commission ended four months after her adoption. But, everyone considering adoption shouild know that it is cheaper to pay for a friend to become a notary than it is to pay a notary for all of the needed paperwork. (friend, not family!)
Originally Posted By beamerdog I have a friend who is white and married to a man from Hawaii (Asian decent). Often when we went out together people would ask her if the adoption of her child was difficult, lol! Good luck in your endeavor
Originally Posted By trailsend Hey DVC ~ well both of my childen are adopted. I don't know what happened with the adoption in GA you speak of, DVC, but, in our case, we had no problems whatsover. I'm only familiar with the laws in GA and the biological mother has 30 days to change her mind. That's it. The law is to post the legal ad in the local newspaper to locate the biological father. When this has been legally posted for the correct amount of time, the procedue is then through the State Superior Court. Then, that's it. It is legal and no claims can ever be made. I am positive this was not completed in the case you were referring to, DVC. I have friends who have adopted children from Russia. It was a long, stressful process. They, too, had to spend much time "living there" until they were able to come home with their children. I am so thankful I was able to adopt. I was fortunate to be a stay at home mom and I loved every minute of it.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Hmmm, sorry I couldn't weigh in sooner, work has been mega busy. Most people have already weighed in here. International adoption is a very expensive and time consuming process. There is bureaucracy on both sides - getting the child freed for adoption, getting permission to adopt, being able to extradite the child and getting the imigration clearances to bring them into the US. Also, there are some things you may need to consider. Adopted children are being adopted for a reason. Not all the cases are about either the parents being killed or a mother giving up their child for adoption. Sometimes it is all about the child being removed from harm because they were physically, sexually or emotionally abused. Or they may have been the result of a rape. It may be due to drug or alcohol related abuse in the parents which can be extended to a physiological need by the child. Or mental health issues in parents putting a child at risk from harm (though there are theories that it can be a hereditary condition, like other ilnesses and diseases - HIV and Aids can also be common, which the US does not often allow these children in). And some are freed for adoption due to disabilities - learning difficulties such as downs syndrome or profound multiple disabilities). And then in places like China, there are dying rooms for babies. These are because the chinese state will only allow families to have one child (more with permission and high taxes), and people want males to carry on the family names). Now, given these complexities, the officials want to be sure that the children are going to the right homes and that they will receive the appropriate care (this includes having enough time spent with them individually, looking at the impact to siblings). This is why the process is long and expensive (it costs for the assessments, care plans, pathway plans, adoption strategies and case conferences to take place - in the UK, tax payers pay on average $1400 each for these services - so even though I am not adopting any kids, $1400 min each year of my salary goes on this). So agencies charge accordingly. For those considering adoptions from abroad and repatriation, you need to think, can you respond to the needs of that child, not just basic love and care, but also cultural identity, post seperation trauma (in the over 6 month olds usually), systemic support, as well as any therapeautic needs. Also one needs to consider the impact on parents and the needs of the siblings. The time and money spent travelling, indoctronating the adopted child and other such means can have a profound impact that requires deep consideration. I have worked with a number of children requiring psychiatric support because of feeling displaced by foster or adopted siblings. These things take a lot of time. I am not stating my views at all as this is down for each family to decide, but in many cases. Good luck on whatever you decide and if you need any more advice and guidance, there is a lot on this board.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Oh, and the other thing. If you are undecided and want to explore the impact on your family, may I suggest trying to foster other kids for a while, and then review the impact on your family. In doing so, you are contributing to a very worthwhile mission supporting local children, while evaluating the impact on your own. Just another point for consideration.
Originally Posted By jonvn Oh, yes. The Dying Rooms. I was looking for that information. But was looking Crying Rooms. Here's a link about what goes on in China. It's horrible. <a href="http://acc6.its.brooklyn.cuny.edu/~phalsall/texts/c-wnhol.html" target="_blank">http://acc6.its.brooklyn.cuny. edu/~phalsall/texts/c-wnhol.html</a>
Originally Posted By jonvn <a href="http://www.cwnews.com/news/viewstory.cfm?recnum=21055" target="_blank">http://www.cwnews.com/news/vie wstory.cfm?recnum=21055</a> <a href="http://www.truevisiontv.com/dying_rooms/index.htm" target="_blank">http://www.truevisiontv.com/dy ing_rooms/index.htm</a> And you know what I find is interesting? Almost NO ONE in this country knows a thing about any of this. Better not let the public know, or we may just stop buying Chinese made stuff at Walmart.
Originally Posted By Mr X Jesus! Reading stuff like that makes me uncomfortable to be living where I live, so close to that horrible place!
