Originally Posted By happyface I'm with you on the harnesses. If your child is small enough to be in one of these harnesses, and you can't manage them??? Let them run away they might be better off with whoever picks them up off the street. Lazy parents.
Originally Posted By queenbee vbdad55, with all due respect, do you really think an 18 month old child feels humiliated by this? Most pass gas, burp, wear their dinner in their hair with little concern to how the others in the room feel about it RT - I understand and agree, the harnesses aren't the most attractive things. I have read your posts concerning your daughter and I am sure that as a parent you would do whatever was necessary to keep her safe. Over the years, I have seen that the definition of what is "nesessary" is different for every child
Originally Posted By TomSawyer I think the harnesses are more humiliating for the parent than they are for the child.
Originally Posted By queenbee Hmm, I was at DLR this weekend. The walkways were a mob of people. If I had a high eneregy toddler in that crowd, one that was prone to dart off, I would not hesitate to use a harness. My management style is simple different then yours happyface. I won't return the ugly generalizations you heaped on well meaning parents.
Originally Posted By queenbee Why is that Tom? Well, happyface, I have two children. My first was a stroller sitter, no harness needed. My second needed the freedom that the harness provided. Of course, it does not replace careful parenting but I liked the extra insurance that she would be safe if I needed to pay for our lunch or address the needs of my first child.
Originally Posted By BlueDevilSF Tranquilizers would be a good idea, too. For the kids, not the parents.
Originally Posted By happyface If you are in the situation that you are describing and you have an 18 month on the end of a harness, you are irresponsible at best. First, that an 18 month old child should be on it's feet in the midst of a crowd is a frightening commentary on the level of intelligence of the "responsible" adult. Second, having the child teathered to an adult with a, what are they, 2ft? leash is only inviting an accident as someone could very easily walk into the trap the teather creates. I've seen this one. Usually the child ends up hurt and beneath the unsuspecting passerby who was entangled. I think there is a lot to be said for teaching small children how to behave in public without being teathered like an unruly puppy. A lot of things are done in this world with the best of intentions, but I don't see how the intention of this device is anything other that allowing the parent to be lax in his or her responsibilities to the child.
Originally Posted By Fe Maiden <<vbdad55, with all due respect, do you really think an 18 month old child feels humiliated by this? Most pass gas, burp, wear their dinner in their hair with little concern to how the others in the room feel about it>> Case in point, my three year old came out of the bathroom of a very crowded restaurant on Saturday and announced to the entire room he just pooped. Luckily he didn't invite everyone into the bathroom to see it as he likes to do at home.
Originally Posted By TomSawyer Some kids are ready for crowded and chaotic environments before others. If a child that age isn't able to heel, for lack of a better term, they may not be ready for it yet. The freedom to explore is great, and I think it's a great way for kids to learn. But that freedom doesn't mean that they can go off on a whim in a new or possibly dangerous environment.
Originally Posted By itsme >>Most pass gas, burp, wear their dinner in their hair with little concern to how the others in the room feel about it ------- I do that, Whats wrong with it.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip <<If you are in the situation that you are describing and you have an 18 month on the end of a harness, you are irresponsible at best. First, that an 18 month old child should be on it's feet in the midst of a crowd is a frightening commentary on the level of intelligence of the "responsible" adult.>> Hey... I don't really like use of the leashes either, but a statement like that is absolute GARBAGE. People have different methods of parenting, and there is no reason for you to make such disparaging remarks over a harmless practice. Just curious... how many kids do you have? I'd be pretty willing to bet a paycheck that your answer is NONE.
Originally Posted By Fe Maiden <<Let them run away they might be better off with whoever picks them up off the street. Lazy parents.>> Are you speaking from experience?
Originally Posted By queenbee The family I saw this weekend was on the edge of the crowd, not walking through it. Certainly there are people who missuse the harness just as there are folks who missuse strollers. I feel teaching and raising children is a process. Perfection dosen't happen overnight. There is a reason we don't release them on the world until they are 18 I simply see the harness as a tool in the parenting tool box.
Originally Posted By vbdad55 <vbdad55, with all due respect, do you really think an 18 month old child feels humiliated by this? < agreed the 18 month old may not be ( but some might ) - but I can tell you I would be. I will carry the child or use an umbrella stroller in the park- and most assuredly you are correct- do what it takes to keep them safe. And if a parent wants to use a harness, more power to them, if that is the only way they can cope with the issue -- only IMHO I think it can be done differently.
Originally Posted By queenbee Tom, your experience with your own children may differ of course but mine really didn't get the whole follow me thing until about 2 1/2 maybe three. Even then, they were prone to distraction and poor judgement, not unusual for a pre-preschooler. The harness was a compromise. They had the freedom to explore a bit, while I still retained control of the "whims" and "danger".
Originally Posted By queenbee vbdad, we obviously share the same goal of keeping our children safe. I would never presume that you did not love your children simply because you choose not to use that paticular parenting tool. I agree there are many ways to successfully parent a child. You are absoutely right things can be done differently. But for some families this is what works and satisfies everyones needs.
Originally Posted By happyface Road Trip, I have 4. 2 sets 18 months apart, thank you. Email me and I can tell you where to send that paycheck
Originally Posted By vbdad55 queenbee-- agreed -- I don't like it and wouldn't use, but that certainly doesn't make my way the only way-- that's why I added IMHO.....
